I run a small staffing agency in downtown Chicago. I help place job candidates in roles on a temporary, contract, and permanent basis for a monthly or upfront fee to the employer. The job market is hot right now and there is a lot of demand for workers. Employees are making more money than ever due to that demand. My business has never been better.
75% of my clientele are normal everyday Joes and Janes looking for some help finding a job. They are either fresh out of school or potentially have large gaps of unemployment on their resumes. These are my bread and butter clients but don’t have the best payouts.
The other 25% is why I am here. I have a bit of a reputation in certain circles for helping the unhelpable be placed in a job. These difficult cases pay me up to 40x what I make on my everyday clients. You see, I work with the damned in finding employment once they are on vacation, probation, or release. I get paid so much because management downstairs pads my checks to help with these special cases.
I work with damned souls and demons. They both have their unique sets of challenges but they do share one hurdle. Bodies. In Hell you are not corporeal, so in order to take a trip upstairs you need a vessel. Part of my increased fees is taking care of this piece too. I won’t go into too many details, but just know college kids desperate for money are willing to overlook a lot of red flags for a few bucks. Their loss is my gain right? Once I have a participant, there is a little throat slitting, a spell, and bing bang boom we have a new client.
Damned souls, or upcycles as I call them, are fairly easy to work with because they have at least been on Earth before. Most of these upcycles have been out of the swing of things for a century at least. Because of this they tend to be a bit off once they are up top. We typically place them in positions like reenactment actors at renaissance fairs or sign spinners. If you’ve handled a lance or a sword in a previous life, chances are you will be a marvel at spinning a sign. Essentially we place them in roles that won’t have them standing out for being a bit off because everyone in that profession is a bit off.
Demons, or Klawrens as I call them, on the other hand can be quite the handful. They have never been up top unless they were on vacation. Typically their vacations consist of making humans’ lives a nightmare or partying it up in an attempt to fill up a bus of new hellbound souls, much like a doggie bag.Where the upcycles are generally grateful for any job they are offered, every Klawren demands a prestigious job. They want to be President, Prime Minister, Emperor or for some reason a judge on a reality competition. Unfortunately for them and fortunately for humanity I don’t really have the power to fill those roles so I have to get creative with how I pitch them jobs I can fill. The job roles I try to fit them in play to their strengths of torturing mankind and abrasive attitudes, think DMV or Meter Maid.
On top of pitching jobs to them, I often have to play with their resumes to ensure they get the positions I do find for them. A few years ago, I had a Klawren come in to go over her resume. In Hell she was primarily responsible for boiling souls in pits of acid. When I asked her what about her past position excited her the most she said, “seeing how long she could keep them screaming.” For resume building purposes, I changed this to “leader who utilizes all tools at her disposal to motivate her team.” I ended up getting her a permanent role as a spin instructor at the YMCA. Her classes are booked months in advance.
I will be honest, there have been a few (very few) cases where some of my special clients got out of hand on their assignments. I once had a higher class Klawren take “Black Friday” a bit too seriously. This was in the earlier years of the sale when people were killed trying to get to that discount television or gaming system. My client mistakenly saw it as a sacrificial fight to the death, battle royale style. In their excitement a few people were disemboweled and others may have been convinced to partake in ritualistic cannibalism, but once I was made aware of the situation we deescalated the situation. I ensured the building and the witnesses were scrubbed from existence. No trail and no need to worry!
Even though I have a few obstacles to deal with, overall, the job is really satisfying. I make a lot of money, I meet a ton of interesting characters, and have helped so many clients find their perfect job. So if anyone is hiring and needs help filling their positions please reach out, we have many qualified candidates that are dying to start work.