My eyes were growing heavy, and I could feel the sweet sensation of sleep crawl down my face. I yawned and closed my eyes.
“You want me to completely scare the shit out of the staff here?” That unnervingly deep, familiar voice whispered in my ear. My eyes rolled in annoyance, and I forced them to stay closed.
“Not now, I’m trying to fucking sleep?” I responded from my thoughts.
“But listen, I was gonna make you get up and sleep walk. The staff wake you up when they stop you, and upon waking, you fall flat on your ass.” The Hat Man whispered again, adding a brief chuckle.
“That’s rude bro, and it could hurt me. That’s not what ‘friends’ do.” I added extra emphasis on ‘friends’ and reminded him about how he said we was my friend.
After a exacerbated sigh, the shrouded figure said, “Pfft. Fine, you humans are so boring.” And just like that, his dark presence was gone and I no longer felt paranoid, which finally allowed me to fall into a deep sleep.
Before that, it had been several months since I last encountered the notorious Hat Man. I could tell, he was still on his same old bullshit. However, I did think it’d be hilarious to freak out the staff here. I then thought that maybe I should write down some questions to ask my so-called dark, shadowy, demonic new friend. I considered it to be my gesture at a genuine attempt at friendship.
Over the past few weeks my anxiety started to fully ramp up to a nearly unbearable status. The time was coming soon for an updated MRI scan of my entire spine. I was told the procedure would last at the very least 90 minutes and up to as long as 3 hours. I was hopeful for good news, and scared shitless about the possibility of bad news. Writing up a bunch of questions helped me to ease some of my rapidly growing anxiety. Just by giving myself something different to think about. Reluctantly, I started counting down the days until my trip to the hospital and my MRI.
The night before my appointment I couldn’t sleep at all. I ended up watching TV, the entire night. That following morning, EMTs pulled up about an hour before the scheduled time. They loaded me on to the stretcher and we made the seven minute ride to the hospital. We waited for a bit in the waiting area, and I made small talk with the crew who was transporting me. When it was finally my turn to go back, the EMTs pushed me into the large, dark, and cool imaging room. They all shifted me over from the stretcher to the flat part of the MRI machine. They advanced the machine slowly carrying me into the chamber, while the techs were still setting things up.
It was unimaginably uncomfortable, and I was having a hard time controlling my spasms. The MRI techs explained how things would go down. They reminded me about the unnaturally long time I’d be inside this loud claustrophobic chamber. They explained how I’d probably get hot inside there, the heavy magnets would generate a lot of heat. Due to the amount of noise, they offered me some headphones to drown out some of the racket. The head technician asked me what kinda music I wanted them to play. My mind went totally blank, and I just asked for rock and roll. Lastly, they asked me if I was ready, then they retreated to the control room to begin the procedure.
The machine whirled up, and the music filled my ears, coming in only slightly louder than the machine’s knocking and beeping. If you’ve never been inside an MRI machine, it sounds roughly like a much more aggressive version of the old school dialup internet noises. It also knocks around like a giant clothes dryer. The lady came in over the headphones, reminding me to stay still, and said this first part will last between 15 and 20 minutes. It got very hot, very fast, and before long I had sweat beading off my forehead. I kept my eyes closed and tried to focus on the music. This experience would be made exponentially worse when an unexpected visitor started whispering inside my head again.
“Bon Jovi suuucks. You actually picked this?” The Hat Man teased.
I forgot where I was for a second, I actually laughed a little, “I know, I felt pressured, they put me on the spot. I just spouted out the first music genre I could think of.”
As each song changed, he would me tell facts about that particular band. “Did you know about the time like half of ‘Lynyrd Skynyrd’ died in a plane crash in the 70’s?”
“Actually I did know that, they had to change the artwork on the album cover for their ‘Street Survivors’ record. Oh, and also the plane took off from Greenville Airport, about 30 minutes down the road.” I answered confidently.
“Well, well, well, look at you with the big brain.” Again, he teased me.
“Hey, uh. Since you’re here, mind if I ask you some questions?” I was trying to genuinely make friends and get to know my dark passenger.
He quickly responded, “Well shit, I got nothing else to do, so sure. Go for it, kid.”
“Did you ever have a different name? The Hat Man just sounds pretty boring.” I asked.
“I’ve been called so many names. Like the fun people in Pt. Pleasant WV, they call me the ‘Mothman’ and in the Pine Barrens of NJ they call me the ‘Jersey Devil’.”
I was a bit confused, “Aren’t those are separate entities?”
“No sir, they see what I want them to see. Like you for example, I wanted to scare you by showing you my red eyes. Not everyone gets to see that, because I normally don’t feel like I need to show that much to get my desired effect.” The Hat Man responded with a touch of arrogance in his rumbly voice.
The MRI tech interrupted our conversation, by telling me about the next part of the procedure, this part would focus on my middle back. Again, she told me to stay still, and that this part would take at least 30 minutes. I was fully aware of how humans try to rationalize and attempt to explain anything they witness but can’t comprehend. It’s how every urban legend and most any other popular myth is created. We share these stories as entertainment or as a form of cautionary tales to warn youngsters. It made sense, but I still couldn’t wrap my head around what I was told, the Hat Man was the source of it all? It seemed a bit farfetched, but on the other hand, apparently I now have regular conversations with a supposedly otherworldly creature.
He continued to brag. “One of my greatest achievements, my portrayal of the infamous ‘Slenderman’. I got those two girls to attack their friend. All because of a silly internet story.”
“That’s pretty messed up, man.” I said, it was the only thing I could come up with in that moment.
“The internet has bred so many horrifying entities; the old legends of the wendigo, the ‘Rake’, the ‘Smiling Man’. I’ve been called them all.” The mysterious shadow continued on.
“I’m not sure if I believe all of that. I think you’re full of shit” I speculated.
“Well that’s not exactly my problem whether or not you believe.” Was the Hat Man’s response. His voice this time was the demonic, threatening tone.
“Whatever you say man. Anyway, so, how long have you been alive? Are you even alive?” My curiosity was running wild at this point.
“I’m as old as time itself. You’ve heard of the Native American concept of a ‘vision quest’ or looking for a ‘spirit guide’? It’s all me. Anytime a ghost hunter sees a ‘shadow figure,’ its me.” He emphasized each example.
“Now shut up. I actually like this song.” The Hat Man proclaimed. ‘Sympathy for the Devil’, was playing.
After that song ended, his presence had again left. The MRI tech cut in for the third time. She told me I was doing great, and that this last section would focus on my lower back. She finished by informing me that this part would last around 25 minutes. This final part went by so slow. My patience had run thin, and I was now sweating profusely. My back was cramping, I couldn’t wait for this to be over. The music was no longer keeping me calm, and my arm started to tingle and fall asleep.
After my appointment, the EMTs took me back to the facility. I was beyond exhausted. It was now early afternoon, but we got back too late for lunch, they had already picked up my tray. I didn’t care so much, the food here is barely edible, besides I was just too tired to worry. My eyes were already feeling heavy, all I wanted to do was rest. As soon as they left, I got myself situated. I laid here for awhile with the TV on. Before I knew it I drifted off into a deep sleep. It wasn’t long before I was dreaming. I was back in that neighborhood from my other dream, only this time I knew better than to be spotted. I quickly took off for the nearby woods. It was quiet and dark, I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. I heard a noise and looked up to see the moon shining through the trees, and it was instantly light enough for me to navigate the woods. There were slight movements in the branches all around me, but otherwise things were so calm. A brisk but comforting breeze rustled around me. This was so peaceful, and vivid. I could smell the fresh air, the temperature was very mild, spring would be here soon.
I thought to myself about how I’ve never had such a soothing and relaxing experience outdoors. My whole life, I’ve never really been a big fan of nature. Slowly, I kept making my way through this forest, when I notice countless pairs of white lights all around me. I picked up my pace some now, paranoia and anxiety began to bubble up inside me. I suddenly felt like I needed to get out of these woods as soon as I possibly could. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the ominous hooting of owls. The overwhelming sound of hundreds of owls encompassed me, and before I could react, the owls started dive bombing me. They were swooping in, pecking and tearing at my flesh. My hands, arms, legs, head, face, everything was being attacked all at once. I could feel the thick warm blood pouring from every wound across my body. I crumpled to the ground in a bloody heap. All I could do was yell for help, my desperate cries echoed through the dense trees. Next thing I remember, I was being shook awake by the CNA on duty. She said she could hear me yelling for help, all the down on the backside of the hall.
I was gasping for breath, my heart beating out of my chest, and ringing in my ears. I could still feel the pain from owls’ beaks all over my body. The CNA asked me what happened, and I told her about my nightmare. I could tell she was feigning interest, so I just gave her a brief summary of the events. She remarked that it sounded pretty messed up. I told her it really was, she asked if she could do anything for me. I had her get me some more water, and I drank the whole cup in one gulp. My heartbeat finally returned to normal, and again I drifted off to sleep. I was awoken again a little later when they passed out dinner trays. I picked over my food and spent the rest of my evening watching old episodes of ‘Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction’. I had forgotten just how much I loved that show. I don’t remember that much after the 9 o’clock med pass however, I knocked out pretty hard once my meds kicked in. I had a dreamless sleep, and I struggled to wake up the next morning. I still felt groggy as fuck, and spent the entire day trying to fully wake myself up. Nothing of any real interest happened for a few days, and I fell back into my normal albeit boring life.
One day, about a week later, I was playing ‘Call of Duty’ on the PS4. I was having a bad day and playing particularly awful, I got sniped from completely across the map. One shot kill, head shot…
“Holy fucking shit kid, you suck so bad. I dunno why you even try to play this?” The Hat Man insulted me.
I shrugged, “Its fun sometimes.”
Little annoying quips like that now happened on the regular. It was getting to where I couldn’t feel his presence ahead of time anymore. I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
At the start of the new year, I met a new girl on Facebook. It didn’t take long and we were messaging and talking almost nonstop everyday. It felt like I had made a new friend at the very least. We seemed to be getting pretty close until…
“She’s got so much baggage son. You need to run for the hills. Get away from her.” He chuckled at his own joke, “Sorry. Poor choice of words, I forgot you can’t run anywhere.”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes, visibly annoyed, “What kind of baggage?” I inquired.
“If I told you, it’d ruin the fun. You’ll just have to decide for your self if you want to take my advice or not.” He cryptically replied.
A frigid chill went down my spine, “I hate when you do that kind of shit. Is there anything you can tell me?”
The entire room seemed to darken, the air got colder. I had goosebumps popping up all over my body, and his oppressive aura filled the whole area. “Sure. I can tell you that sometime between the middle of March, and the middle of April a major catastrophic tragedy will take place somewhere on this crumbling pile of shit you call a planet.” His voice had become the most venomous, hateful, and foreboding that I’ve ever heard.
“What do you mean? What’s gonna happen?” I asked, my voice began to crack, full of fear and apprehension.
He laughed like an evil cartoon villain, only it was extremely evil, horrifyingly vile, and full of malice. “I can’t tell you all that, but you’ll know when it happens. It’ll be very obvious.”
“Why?” I sobbed quietly to myself, and my body became racked with sheer horror and anxiety.
He continued to laugh. His voice turned even deeper and more acidic, taunting me demonically, “Knowing you can’t do anything to stop it. Knowing you’ll just have to sit back and watch. Having this hanging over your head brings me an unexplainable pleasure.”
I was at a loss for words, and I just sat there trembling uncontrollably. I could already feel the stress and anxiety creeping up in my stomach. This was the most recent interaction with the evil, Hat Man. So, for now I’m just going to be checking the news each day, waiting to see if his dark prediction comes true. I really hope he stays away this time, but I don’t think I would ever be so lucky.
Until next time, I hope you enjoyed reading about my ongoing encounters with the Hat Man.