I’ve been a marine biologist and shark specialist for the better part of fifteen years now and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we don’t know a damn thing. You could see a new species, hell, three new species every single day for your entire life and not even scratch the surface of what’s under the surface of the water. Water is where life began. And it’s been there for millions of years. Aquatic life has had the longest time to grow, to change, to learn. And the variety of life is truly unfathomable to me. To think that we, as a footnote in evolution, actually believe that we know anything about the creatures that live underwater is sheer stupidity and hubris. Nothing made this clearer to me than what I experienced three nights ago.
My crew and I took a research vessel out into the Pacific just after sundown, looking for the elusive Oceanic White Tip Shark. These beautiful creatures tend to be loners of the deep and due to this, we don’t know a whole lot about them. What we do know is that they spend their days stalking the vast, open ocean, often riding the area where cold water meets warm. And since they tend to spend their days in open water, food is very scarce. So, whenever a meal is available, they tend to make a beeline for it with aggressive determination.
The mission I had planned was a very special one. I had a theory that Oceanic White Tips weren’t actually the loners everyone thought they were. My thinking was that they were actually highly sophisticated pack hunters, sending one main scout who would then signal to the group when a meal was found. This would conserve precious energy and also optimize every meal for the species as a whole.
So my crew geared up and found the most empty spot we could, to try testing this out.
Upon arrival we deployed two shark cages, one on either side of our boat, and then we started suiting up for our dive. The moon was nowhere to be found that night, the only source of light being the bright spotlights surrounding our ship. My dive partner, Mike, and I were all nerves as we got ready.
“How’re ya feelin brother?” Mike asked, zipping up his wet suit and prepping his breathing apparatus. Even with the thick, insulated rubber of the suit I was shivering as the chill night air hit me. And the water would only be colder.
“I’m excited man. You know, a lot of butterflies, but I’m fucking ready to see some sharks.” I said with a grin.
“Hey I got your back down there, alright? Your theory’s strong and we got all night. We’re all behind you.” Mike reassured me. I gave him a grateful nod. A few minutes later, the crew EMT, Dave, made his way over to us as we finished getting ready.
“Alright, we’re about all set here. Now, you guys know I’ve got to give you the spiel.” He said.
“Yes mom.” I replied with a laugh. Dave rolled his eyes.
“Down there it’s all going to be about communication, right? We’re on radios at all times, so you keep us updated. You feel wrong, you feel any danger, you call me right away. I support you guys, this research you’re doing is amazing. But we’re also dealing with unpredictable apex predators. They have the advantage in the water, and it’s dark. You keep your eyes peeled down there, we keep our eyes peeled up here and we all stay safe. I say we pull the plug, we pull the plug alright?” He explained. Mike and I nodded our understanding.
“Yes sir, sailor Dave sir!” Mike saluted. Dave rolled his eyes again but smirked. I looked at our chum people next.
“How’re we looking Jimmy?” I asked.
“All good to go here. Ready on your mark.” He responded. “Cameras are rolling, we have all our gear ready. Any other questions?”
“Yeah, can I get a little taste of that?” Mike asked with a grin. A laugh rolled through the ship, releasing some of the tension that had been building in the air.
“Oh great idea. We gotta get that calorie intake before the big dive.” I joked.
“There he is, see, Kody’s game. Garson, we’ll take two of your smelliest servings.” Mike called with a slap on my shoulder. The laughter really helped.
“Alright smartass. Just get in the damn water.” Jimmy said.
With everything set, Mike and I gave each other one last nod, strapping on our face masks. And then, we jumped into the freezing black abyss.
The sensation of diving into freezing cold ocean water is one that is nearly impossible to describe. My entire body stiffened as every single muscle constricted, tensing in shock from the absolute cold. Every nerve stung with a freezing burn before fading away into a numb hum from head to toe. It took the sound of the radio to pull me back to myself.
“How’re we lookin?” Mike called over coms.
“All good here.” I answered. “Alright guys, bring the noise. Let’s get this party started.” With that, the crew got to work, slapping the surface of the water with oars to simulate the movements of struggling fish. At the same time, bloody chum sprinkled down in crimson clouds, glowing vibrantly against the bright blue water, illuminated in large windows of light as our boat spotlights shined down into the ocean.
Beyond these pools of light, everything was a thick blanket of blackness. And below me was nothing but a vast and dark chasm that seemed to go on forever and ever. The vibrations in the water reached me like the dull beating of the heart, muffled by thousands of gallons of water. And this pocket of light is where we waited.
For a while, it was a long and quiet night. We waded about in the shark cages, our eyes wide, staring into the murky black water. The sounds and chum continued in small spurts. We exchanged little conversation as we played the long waiting game, our fingers crossed. I sat, hoping, my heart pounding in my chest. It must’ve been a few hours of freezing nothing before Mike came on the radio.
“Hey brother, I’m seeing a big black spot out there. It’s comin, your way now. Keep a lookout.”
“Copy.” I said.
And then I saw it. A glimpse of gray. The wide, wing-like pectoral fins. A splotch of white on the large dorsal fin. “Holy shit. Holy. We got one. Oceanic White Tip!” I nearly screamed. The enormous beauty glided through the water effortlessly. In the vast nothing, it looked like it was flying. Its white, slitted eyes stared out through the water at our boat.
“Hell yes!” Someone from the crew called on coms.
“Oh fuck it’s gorgeous. Female. Probably a ten footer, easy. Maybe bigger.” I called out to the crew. A round of cheers went up from the crew, the excitement vibrating through us. The shark loomed, making a couple curious circles around us.
“Broooo, Kody, that thing is huge.” Mike said as the shark made her way to his side of the ship. We watched with held breath as she investigated, swimming by us, its gaping jaws hanging open to give us a perfect view of her rows of razor sharp teeth. Being so close to such a powerful creature brought with it this huge shot of adrenaline and I found myself completely speechless.
“How’re we doin’ boys?” Dave called.
“All good here. Looks like she’s curious for sure.” Mike answered first.
“Yeah, it looks like she’s drifting away now. Hopefully that means she’ll be back with a group.” I said, watching as the Oceanic White Tip flew through the water, back into the inky black, vanishing before our eyes in an instant. The exhilaration lingered with us for a good while after that. We did check-ins with the crew and Dave, making sure everything was still on the safe track before it was back to waiting.
However, this time, we didn’t have to wait that long. About an hour later, calls came from Dave and a couple other crew mates.
“We’ve got a shark, on your left, on your left.”
“Another one over here. Off to the right.”
“Heads up, we got another.”
Soon, we had a whole group of five or six swarming us, watching, lurking, and hoping for a meal. And for my crew, we were on cloud nine.
“Kody, I think you’ve just found your first piece of evidence.” Mike said warmly. I grinned. This was everything I was hoping for. It wasn’t one hundred percent proof at all. But this was a huge step towards my theory. These creatures were more than loners. They had a form of pack mentality. My heart raced as I watched them bump the boat or come up to my cage before veering off. Joy welled up in my chest.
And then, Mike came back on the line.
“Hey dude, I think something’s wrong.” Mike said. Everyone’s excitement stopped. My grin dropped into a frown.
“What’s going on?” I asked seriously. There was a series of voices over the radio as the crew leaned over Mike’s side of the boat.
“Are you alright?” Dave asked immediately. There was a long stint of static.
“Uh-” Mike stuttered. “There’s something out there. But I don’t think it’s a shark. Like i-” he trailed off.
“What the hell is that?” Called Dave.
“It’s a shadow or a figure. I can’t make out any features.” Jimmy said. My heart started to pick up pace. I was beginning to feel off, in the pit of my stomach I knew this wasn’t right.
And then the sharks ran away. All of them.
I watched as each shark jolted to life, swishing their tails rapidly, flying away into the dark as fast as they could. That made my heart nearly stop.
That didn’t happen. Not like this, not all at once and with such speed. This wasn’t just a few sharks being shocked by an unexpected noise or movement. This was an act of fear. One minute, there were six large hungry apex predators, and then there was nothing.
“What the fuck?” I said to myself. The terror that bubbled in my chest took my breath away. I tried to radio but no speech would leave my mouth. What could do that? Never in the years I’d been diving with sharks had I ever seen a reaction like that. Never. I’d never seen one shark run away from something with such fervor, let alone a group. This wasn’t just wrong. This was very bad.
“Mike, what do you see?” Dave asked. “We can only see shadows up here. You have to communicate, man. We talked about this.”
“Mike?” I finally spoke. Nothing. Static came over the line as if he was pressing the button, but unable to utter a word.
“Mike, answer me right now or I’m pulling the plug.” Dave said firmly.
“You guys are sure it’s not another shark?” I asked stupidly, knowing that couldn’t be the case.
“No, this thing is big. Like, it’s moving with the current of the water. This big black shape. I can’t make out anything.” Jimmy responded. I craned my neck, trying to gaze through the dark depths to catch a glimpse. But I couldn’t.
“Guys.” Mike finally called out to us.
“Mike, what the fuck is going on?” I yelled.
“It’s like this big mass. I can’t…holy shit.” Mike’s voice was shaking. He was scared.
“What is it?”
“It’s…looking at me.”
“What is?!” I screamed.
“Fuck…I think it’s…smiling at me.” Mike nearly whispered. I shifted in my shark cage, my heart felt like it was about to burst. The fact that I was alone in the infinite depths and I couldn’t see anything only made the whole experience worse. I looked around wildly, as if I was instinctively searching for any sign of danger or help, but I only saw cold steel and black water.
“That’s it. I’m pulling the plug. Reel in his cage, we’re getting out of here.” Dave stated. “I’m-” His voice was completely drowned out by the staticky sounds of Mike’s screams over the radio. Although I was on the other side of the boat, I felt the movement of water, rapid and violent. My cage shook back and forth, throwing me sluggishly from side to side with the displaced ocean. I attempted to steady myself, but with little success. After one particularly aggressive jolt, my left arm crashed into the walls of the cage. I felt a snap, a stinging aching pain, and then numbness.
Screams went up from all of the coms and everything went up into chaos.
“Get him out! Get him out!” Dave shouted, fear now touching his own voice. I saw blood, so much blood. It flew with the currents in deep red clouds, passing over me. Mike’s blood. My stomach roiled as everything continued to violently shake.
“Jesus Christ!” Shouted Jimmy.
“Get Kody! Get him!” Dave ordered.
I felt the crew desperately trying to reel in my cage. I couldn’t see anything. It was all a blur of sea, night, and blood. A corner abruptly jerked to the left and my head hit one of the metal bars at full force. Stars filled my vision. Hands dipped into the water, barely missing me multiple times with all of the movement. More screaming.
“No! Stay away from the edge!” I heard Dave again. A splash. More screaming.
And then, one firm grip locked onto my left arm and I was hoisted out of the water. I let out a shriek of agony at the pain in my arm as I spilled out into the boat, nearly getting trampled by the quickly moving crew. I ripped off my mask and vomited, adding to all the water, blood, and other viscera that painted the floor. Everyone was slipping all over the place. My head spun.
“Kody’s in!” I heard Jimmy yell.
“Get the fuck out of here! Go! Go!” Dave screamed. The boat lurched forward and we took off. The world around me started to fade as I stared out at the bloody pool where Mike and other crew members’ body pieces floated. I saw it. A shadow in the water. Featureless, terrifying beyond all belief. I tried to speak, to think, to do anything. But my world shifted into darkness and I passed out.
When I came to, I was in a hospital bed. And that’s where I’ve stayed the last three days, staring at the ceiling while simultaneously feeling relieved and surprised to find that I was still alive. It turns out, I broke my left arm in two places and I have a pretty bad concussion. The memories of the whole thing have been coming back to me slowly, in terrifying flashes.
Mike Alan’s body wasn’t able to be recovered. Nor were crew mates Heather Nolan and Paul Webb. I heard that Jimmy had a really bad cut on his leg and chest and had been in and out of surgery since I’ve been here. The rest of the crew have stopped by to visit me a few times. Dave was kind enough to drop off my laptop so I can sit here, painstakingly typing this all out with my right hand so I don’t go crazy.
I have no idea what was out there, lurking in the blackness like a living shadow. And honestly…I don’t think I want to. I’ve never seen sharks run for their lives like that before. But there’s a creature out there that scares them. Whatever scares sharks is still down there, waiting below the depths.
I can’t say if I’ll ever be able to go back into the water. But I do know one thing. One image has very clearly returned to me from the entire experience. I couldn’t make out that many features of the shadow. But I saw, as we retreated that night. I looked directly at it.
And it was smiling at me.