I don’t know what exactly my girlfriend is involved in, but I need help.
Jenna and I had what most would call a whirlwind romance. We fell for each other and fell hard. I moved her in after only a week. Stupid, I know, but I was in love! I know this sounds cliché, but I felt like the best version of myself when I was around her. Something inside me burned and glowed. Even my German Shepherd, Hank, loved her.
Moving in together felt like the best way to continue to ride that wave. And also the best way to dissuade her Peeping Tom.
On the seventh night of seeing each other, the Tom decided merely peeping was no longer enough. Jenna woke up to the sound of someone attempting to kick in her front door.
After filing a police report, she graced my doorstep, two duffel bags in hand.
There’s something about a dangerous situation that feeds lust. We made love for the first time that night. The air in the room felt charged, the hairs on my arm stood up, and I’d swear I felt a light shock on my lips as she kissed me good night.
The visions came after.
I don’t remember waking up that morning, climbing out of bed, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen, and sitting down at my kitchen table to write. But I had.
My hands rub together in anticipation. I thank all of the Gods that I do not have eyelids. I don’t want to blink- I don’t want to miss a second of her beauty. I cling to the wall, wishing it was her skin. My proboscis trembles with the thought of the salty sweat clinging to her furrowed brow. She moans softly in her sleep. I am small enough, I think, to land undetected onto her right ear. I could softly push my way deep inside of her. I could wiggle through the tight spaces right into her brain and suck the nightmares straight away. Would they taste salty like her sweat? Or would it be more savory? Something like -
Jenna’s hand on my shoulder startled me from my trance. I dropped my pen and leaped up from the chair. I jumped a second time as it clacked onto the hard tile floor. I reached back for my… I’m not sure anymore. I’m 33 years old, and I’ve obviously only had my body but something is wrong; panic is setting in. I run my hands over my face, expecting my mouth to be longer.
I fold towards the floor into a squat, hands over my head, trying to catch my breath. Jenna wrapped her arms around me silently. I don’t know what possessed me, but I lifted my head and ran my tongue across her arm. I noted that she wasn’t at all salty. The absurdity of the situation broke my panic and I became a puddle of laughter.
Jenna smirked and plucked the paper from the table.
“This is the strangest love letter I think I’ve ever received. You didn’t finish it. But I’m sure you will another night,” she teased.
There was muddied spring snow in my chest, but I hardly noticed. I was lost in the creases of her smiling eyes and aching to be back in bed with her. The crippling fear I’d felt earlier crawled under the couch with the loose change and dust bunnies - forgotten.
Working hours came too soon. The urge to call out was strong, but Jenna insisted she wanted us to keep our routines.
As the day wore on, my mood fell. I’d started my morning with a mile-long grin and a greeting for everybody (even that moody bitch Susan). By afternoon, colors didn’t seem quite as bright and my steaming Chinese takeout may as well have been cardboard. Was my office always this depressing? I couldn’t be sure, but I didn’t think so.
I reread the “love letter” I’d written at the table for Jenna that morning. I still didn’t remember writing it, nor could I remember how I planned on ending it. Thinking about it too much made my stomach turn. It gave tiny, tapered teeth to the swirls of fear and confusion that had begun to make a home there.
I walked up my driveway with lead for legs. I shoved my front door open and was immediately greeted with one of Jenna’s static kisses. The smell of baked chicken and potatoes wafted from the kitchen and my stomach gave a dutiful grumble. When I walked into the kitchen and saw she’d even made Hank a plate, I knew she was the one. The world had color again!
Jenna and I made love again that night and fell asleep with our limbs entwined and tangled in my sheets.
I dance outside of her door as she lies in bed. I lick the walls. I crawl across the carpets and roll up the drapes. Had the neighbors been awake they would have seen me inside. The air is thicker now, but I don’t mind. I’ll slide my long fingers under the bedroom door. While she sleeps peacefully, I’ll slink into bed with her and keep her warm. I’ll weave through her hair, dive into her ear, and straight into her brain!
Jenna shook me awake. I was sitting at the table again. I inhaled deeply to scream, but the dense air hitched in my throat and sunk into my lungs. Jenna dragged me from the chair as I choked. I shoved the paper from the table into my pocket. My head swam as my eyes leaked and burned. At a point, I realized the house was on fire.
As Jenna led me to the front door, Hank’s frantic barking from the bedroom gave me clarity. I pushed Jenna out and returned to the house to release Hank from his kennel.
I’d only seen a house fire in movies before this. I gagged on the musty taste of smoke as I unlatched Hank’s kennel. Muddy tears blurred my vision as I made my way out of the house more on memory than sight.
The cool night air swam in my aching lungs as I collapsed on the front lawn. Hank plopped down, whining and writhing. I buried my face into his coarse fur and sobbed as I called for Jenna. The only response was the soft purring of the fire and sirens in the distance.
It’s been hours now and I still haven’t heard from her. I know she didn’t leave on her own, her car is still in my driveway. When I call her cell, it rings until it goes to voicemail.
Someone must have taken her. The same someone who started the fire. The Peeping Tom. The visions and writings feel more like hints than love letters, but I don’t understand. I’ve been sitting at the desk in this hotel room with Hank sleeping at my feet. I have a paper and a pen in front of me but nothing is happening.
Please, someone, help me!