I have tried to kill my brother multiple times. I don’t know why I have tried to do this, I love my brother and my family. I was a F9 and my brother was M10 at the time, and we lived out in the country side, quiet little town, next door neighbors were family. One night I just got the idea that I should plug his nose while he was sleeping 🤷🏽♀️ I walked over to his bed(we lived in a trailer at the time) and I held his nose shut for about a solid 15 seconds. The few seconds went by and then he let out a SNORT. It honestly scared me, so i let go and ran back into my bed and pretended to be asleep. He didn’t even wake up. A few months later me and him got into an argument and we got physical, duked it out in the yard, best friends about 5 minutes later. Close to an hour later I grabbed one of his knives and was chasing him around the coffee table with it yelling “Here’s brucie” (from finding nemo) and he was in tears crying, and then i stabbed him. He still has a giant scar down his back to this day, my parents were into illegal stuff at the time so they were barely ever home, so i helped him get patched up and never told them about it. My parents had never found out about this. These weren’t the only times I have done something crazy like this. I have also killed our cats and thrown them into the main road. Everybody believed they had gotten ran over. I will also stand up to any and every bully in the only way I feel is suitable for them. There was this one time when my mom saw the scar on his back, and had asked him about it. I knew he would tell the second I left his sight, so I stood behind my mom glaring at him with the most sinister look possible, he never said a word, and I didn’t think he ever would. I was always looking for an excuse to come up with if he ever did say something, but nothing ever seemed to have fit my alibi or logic. Why did this have to be so difficult.
About 10 years later, here I am writing about this with his exact body bleeding out by my feet. He ended up telling someone about it. I had to do it, he left me no choice. I didn’t want people to think i’m crazy. I know that I am not crazy. If anybody were to think I was crazy, They would be the crazy ones. I feel so proud of myself but so confused at the same time. Why did I do this? Wtf is wrong with me? Am I crazy?
Also posted on r/confessions <3
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