You know, I used to be a really big horror fan. I mean, I grew up on scary movies. I’ve seen most of the classics more times than I can count. Hell, I remember watching those old Alien movies with my parents, you know, the ones with Sigourney Weaver where the alien bursts through the guy’s chest and thinking it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. I was absolutely obsessed with that stuff.
I used to draw pictures of the aliens in my notebooks at school and everything. They were never any good, of course. I’ve never really been much of an artist. But you get my point, right? I was into that shit. I thought it was awesome! A little scary, sure. But mostly just awesome!
When you’re a kid, you’re looking for an identity. You latch on to whatever seems cool at the time and use it to define yourself. So naturally, scary movies and horror became part of who I was and oh man did I ever run with it! By the time I hit seventh grade, my Mom had gotten me into Stephen King. I read Salem’s Lot in about three days and spent the next year working my way through his bibliography.
I’d watched and rewatched my Dad’s old horror library a thousand times and listened in awe as he shared the little tidbits of behind the scenes information he had. How they’d shot certain scenes or other fun little trivia. My fondest memories are of just sitting in the den with my Dad, watching the violence onscreen and when it was over, listening to my Dad tell me just how they’d made it all so visceral and real. But above all that, my favorite thing was the experience of going through a haunted house.
Horror on a screen or in a book is great. But it doesn’t compare to the adrenaline rush of feeling it in person. The illusion of being in real danger, actually being hunted. Make no mistake, I was never a big enough adrenaline junkie to go into an actual abandoned building looking for thrills or anything. People who do that probably aren’t looking to be scared, they’re after a different kind of kick. What I liked was the production. The feeling of really being in it. That was what I was after!
Most places only really open up haunted houses around Halloween for obvious reasons. I mean, the rest of the year, people aren’t really that interested in them. But there are a few places I know of that keep a haunted house open year round, where it’s always Halloween. They’re usually in the more touristy parts of the world that see a lot more foot traffic than average, but I was lucky. I just so happened to grow up in Niagara Falls.
For the uninitiated, the Canadian side of Niagara Falls is about as close to Las Vegas as you can get in Ontario. Up in the Clifton Hill area, there’s some nice, more upscale restaurants along with a few places you can only ever find in the States. There’s the Fallsview Casino and a bunch of charming little tourist traps. A giant Hershey store, a wax museum and of course the haunted houses. So many haunted houses. Having had some time to grow up, I can see it all for the kitsch tourist trap it really is but when I was a kid, Clifton Hill might as well have been as close to Valhalla as I was bound to get. Needless to say, I liked stopping by the haunted houses. Some of them were nothing special. Some of them had variety, changing up the sets every few months to keep it fresh and unpredictable!
The one that always did it the best was ‘The Mad House’. Most haunted houses were at least a little kitchy. But the Mad House was probably one of the best I’ve ever been to.
Every 6 months, they liked to rotate the theme. Sometimes they’d bring back one they’d done before, only lay it out in a new way. Sometimes they’d do something completely new, and it was always unique! Sure, they’d done the classics. The haunted mansion, haunted insane asylum, haunted slaughterhouse and the like. But they’d also done some really creative ones too!
A few years ago, they turned their building into a full on satanic church. Last year, they made it into a maritime village and it was without question, the scariest haunted house I’ve ever been to! There was the sound of ominous waves playing in the background instead of the usual creepy music. The actors didn’t wear monster costumes. They dressed in Fisherman’s outfits and would stand, chopping fish and turn to glare at you as you passed, menacingly holding their cleavers as they did.
Some of them shouted things after you like: “YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!” or “THE DEEP WILL CLAIM YOU!”
There was one room that they basically turned into a pool and had a girl dressed as a mermaid swimming around while the audience walked along a higher path. She’d croon and beckon to the audience to come in and join her… But even while she did, you could see the corpses of her past victims just below the surface of the water, some of them still reaching up in the hopes of escaping their watery grave.
Another room led through their ‘chapel’ which looked almost like a regular church, only with a skeletal mermaid crucified in place of Jesus. The stained glass windows were all off too. Some of them depicted writhing masses of tentacles. Others depicted people drowning. Some even depicted shipwrecks.
As the haunted house went on, men in grotesque fish-man suits would shamble after you, never speaking, just gasping and wheezing. The costumes looked great and their performances were always spectacular! I only ever saw one drop character once when a girl got so scared she fell over screaming and even then, it was just a momentary lapse as he helped her up.
The climax came as you walked up a misty ‘hill’ to a lighthouse. They’d built it out of paper mache and put ornate, beautiful paintings along the walls to make it seem like you were outdoors. The scenery was a dreary, grey sunset. The paintings were at a bit of an angle to make you feel like you were going up, although the room was still perfectly flat. It was a pretty damn good optical illusion.
Then, when you actually went inside the lighthouse all you’d see when you looked up was a single giant eye looking down on you… and behind it, what initially looked like stars, although the longer you looked, the more you’d realize that they were just more eyes, of the same infinitely vast creature.
It was fucking amazing.
When The Mad House announced they’d redone their theme again, I obviously just had to go.
The theme this time was advertised as: “Insidious Industry” and the promotional pictures depicted some sort of run down, abandoned warehouse look. They seemed to have stripped down a lot of the props from before, leaving bare concrete walls and uncomfortable furniture. Boxes packed on skids, bloody factory equipment, and the like. I could see some of the actors dressed up in casual work clothes, only with makeup that made them seem almost skeletal. It looked like it was going to be something good and I knew I wasn’t going to miss it!
I’ve got a few friends who are horror junkies just like me. Whenever The Mad House changes up its theme, we usually stop by. Naturally, they were just as excited as I was by the news that they’d changed things up again.
We made plans to stop by that weekend to see the new setup and for me, the excitement was the same as what I felt when I was about to see my favorite band in concert or waiting for the newest entry in a movie franchise I loved to be released and when the day came, we were one of the first ones in.
Now, one thing about the Mad House that I will criticize is that while they change the theme pretty often, they can’t really change the layout of the building. That does admittedly lead to them being a little bit predictable if you’ve gone through a few times. For example, the first room you go into after the lobby is always an S shaped hallway that is never really that scary. For the Satanic Church theme, they’d decorated it with inverted crosses, demonic paintings, and candles. For their maritime theme, it had been done up like the hallway of an old house with unsettling family photos and pictures of what looked like drowned corpses.
The lobby looked nice this time. They’d done it up like a factory lunch room with peeled linoleum floors (with a few convincing bloodstains on them) and tables set up with what looked like rotting food on them. You could hear the screams of guests deeper inside the factory, along with some mechanical noises like gears grinding, steam hissing, and the clank of metal on metal.
The hall on the other hand wasn’t that impressive. It had been stripped bare, exposing the blank walls and covered in ‘motivational’ posters that all depicted their subjects about to die, or suffer in some way. Some of them were kinda funny, but most weren’t.
Above most of the posters were TV screens, crudely wired to the walls. Each depicted the same low resolution image of a red shaded human face. The eyes looked mostly normal with a placid expression. But everything below the nose better resembled a skull. The cheeks were missing to show exposed teeth. Sometimes, the screens would flicker. Never all at once. Always just one at a time. When they did, the eyes would move as if they were watching someone else in the audience. The omnipresence of the Red Face in the hall was the most unsettling part of it, giving me an uneasy feeling of being watched. It wasn’t the best setup they’d ever done with that hallway, but the Red Face was a nice touch.
After the hall came the first big room. This one was usually done up as some sort of elaborate setpiece. It had been the ‘exterior’ of the village for the Maritime theme. This time, it was set up like a warehouse. The actors shuffled around, pretending to work. Some of them halfheartedly wrapped a skid full of empty boxes. Looking at the boxes, you could see the labels on them read things like: HUMAN ORGAN or REAL CHILD MEAT. Some of them just read DANGER. There was one actor playing a supervisor who wandered around and singled out people as they passed.
“You there!” He’d snarl in a voice so commanding that I’ll admit, it made me jump every time he did it.
“You should be in uniform. You’re standing around! Lazy… Worthless… You’ll end up in a box with the rest of the failures…”
On cue, he flashed a deranged smile that seemed to stretch his face too far and gestured to a skid being packed behind him. On it, I could see various oblong boxes that looked just tall enough to hold a person… One of them lay on the floor, open and inviting. The actor leered at us, grinning for a moment before going after the people behind us.
We kept going through. The warehouse floor led to the ‘exterior’ of a factory. There were paneled windows that looked like they’d been scavenged from an actual broken down factory and signs reading: ‘Truck Drivers must check wheels and set brakes before loading and unloading’
Flashes of light and the sounds of work could be heard behind the windows along with the occasional scream.
The path led us through a loading door and onto a factory floor that looked dreary and oppressive.
Large machines seemed to sit around us and smoke filled the air. The actors tended to the machines, even though they weren’t actually running. Some of them had body bags on conveyor belts, looking like they were being fed into giant meat grinders or something. Others stood in front of surfaces that resembled large clock faces, dutifully dragging the hands back and forth, struggling as if it took a monumental effort to do it.
The whole area had this uncomfortable, sterile feel to it… Bright yellow railings kept us away from the actors and the fake machines although some of the actors would wander up to the railings, grip them and beg to come with us.
“I can’t take this anymore… It hurts… I can’t do this, I want to go… Make it stop!”
Some of them even sounded like they were really crying. But on cue, one of the supervisors would violently grab them and haul them back to their work station, snarling some vicious threat as they did.
“BACK TO IT, OR YOU’RE GOING IN NEXT!”
A large TV loomed over the entire factory setup. Through the smoke, I could see the familiar image of the Red Face looking down at everyone. The screen sometimes flickered, just like it did in the hall. The eyes moved, staring at someone else… But they didn’t only ever move when the screen flickered. Sometimes they moved normally, shifting slightly to the side as if watching someone pass. Sometimes they even blinked. The eyes were the only part that moved. The rest of the face didn’t so much as budge.
At the end of the factory section, an open door led us to a darkened room full of boxes piled high, like an abandoned warehouse.
It was lit only by a few large lights in the ceiling, and sometimes the boxes would shift or rock violently. Actors shambled past, some of them mixing with the audience and trying to walk with them, only to be stopped by more ‘supervisors.’ They’d grab them and make a show of dragging them out of the crowd, screaming at them all the while. Sometimes, they’d target people they thought they could get an easy scream out of. One of them locked on to me as we passed, pointing at me abruptly before snarling:
“YOU THERE!” In a venomous tone. “Slipping away from your duties, are you? I’ll put you in a box… Send you through the machine. That’ll fix you right up… Mark my words. It’ll fix you…”
He let his accusatory finger linger on me for a moment, before looking for someone else to torment.
Above the boxes, I could see more TV screens with the red face watching from above.
We were getting close to the end of the room. The next room was usually the one where they had the most elaborate display. This was where they’d put the mermaid a few months ago, but during the Satanic Church theme before that, they’d had actors doing a full on ritual in there, complete with a screaming live ‘sacrifice’ being slaughtered. They’d swap them out with a second screaming sacrifice when they were done, conspicuously carrying the ‘body’ off to give the actor a rest before they came back on again. I was excited to see what they’d have in store this time!
At the end of the room, one of the supervisors was waiting. There was a small queue in front of us, waiting by a closed door with a red light overhead.
“You’re not on break yet!” The actor said, “Get back to work! What’s with all the standing around!”
Then, a moment later a red light above the door turned off.
The supervisor scoffed with disgust and opened the door.
“The boss will see you now… Go on then!”
He shooed us in. Me and my friends slipped in with the group in front of us.
I knew from my previous visits that this room was long and wide. I knew there was a path you could walk along and a whole open area below where they put on whatever show they were putting on. But this time, the room was completely dark. I couldn’t even see my friends in front of me. I could see a red light above the exit door, so we knew where it was. It seemed a lot closer than it should have been. Maybe they’d divided this room in half or something? There was barely room for all of us on the balcony we stood on. I couldn’t see anything else. The rest of the room was shrouded in darkness. I reached out to touch the banister. I could hear a mechanical hiss.
Then the lights came on. They were deep crimson and only illuminated one thing at the far end of the room.
There was no display or production waiting for us down beneath the balcony… Instead, there was just a familiar red face ahead of us. For a moment, I thought it was just another TV screen… But no. This didn’t look like it was on a screen. This looked real.
There was a mechanical hiss and the Red Face began to move towards us. It didn’t move… It just stared blankly ahead as it inched closer and closer.
There was a low, mechanical whirring noise. Some sort of piston hissed. The face just moved closer. I heard one of the other people in the room with us quietly say: “Nope!” and saw them disappear out the door. I didn’t try and leave though. I just stood there, fascinated.
The eyes slowly blinked, making me shrink back a little. How did they get the eyes to blink like that? They weren’t a screen… The face looked real. An animatronic of some sort, maybe?
The face just loomed closer and closer. I could hear a low droning noise in the background that sent a shiver through me. Then I heard a voice.
“Let’s have a look at you…”
The voice that spoke was not booming or ominous. It was just… Dead. The tone was vacant and lifeless. Like a robot speaking.
“Such fine specimens… You will serve our company well… Run along now. The work does not end. You are now a part of us. You will always be a part of us.”
I felt my friends heading for the door, and could hear one of them laughing anxiously. I let myself linger for just a moment more, watching as the face loomed closer and closer… It was almost at the balcony. I could probably touch it if I wanted to. It looked so real…
I finally headed for the door, grinning from ear to ear at the effect. I pulled at the knob. But the door didn’t budge.
I looked up. The light above it was still red. I tried pushing. Still no luck. Was one of my friends holding it closed on the other side?
“You are not leaving so soon…” I heard the voice say, and my heart skipped a beat. It took me a moment to calm myself down. Maybe this was part of it?
The red face just drew closer and closer… The eyes had shifted. They were focusing on me now. The face seemed to have changed direction a little bit too. It was coming right for me. I watched it in silence for a moment, waiting for it to speak again before trying the door. It still wouldn’t open. This was going on a little long, wasn’t it?
The face was just about at the railing now. It had to stop soon.
But it didn’t.
The Red Face pressed up against the railing. I saw it slow down for a moment… But it didn’t stop. Slowly, the railing started to buckle as the face pressed through it. The metal bent inwards and a jolt of sudden panic went through me. It wasn’t stopping!
I chickened out. I ran for the door I’d come through, trying to pull it open. No luck. It wouldn’t open either. I knocked on it, hoping someone would answer.
“Hey! Hey, let me out!”
The railing snapped. It bent out of the way of the face as it advanced past it, towards me.
I ran for the other door. There was less room to move now. I tried opening it, tried knocking on it. My pounding was getting more frantic, more panicked.
“Hello? HELLO? I THINK IT’S BROKEN! LET ME OUT!”
I looked back at the face… It had changed. It’s hard to describe exactly how but… It looked like it was smiling. Without lips or cheeks, it somehow seemed to be grinning at me. Maybe it was the eyes… They had changed from a blank stare into a cruel leer.
“Don’t run…” The voice crooned at me. “Don’t… Run…”
This time though, the mouth moved. This time, it articulated the words… It spoke. This wasn’t a pre-recorded line. It spoke. The face was getting closer. I reached out to touch it, hoping to push it back. The ‘skin’ of it felt cold, wet, and clammy. The eyes blinked slowly, still fixated on me.
I was running out of room. My back was against the wall as the face got closer and closer. I barely had room to pound on the door anymore… Within a few moments, it was touching me… I pressed myself hard against the wall trying to avoid it… But I could feel it against my body. Still getting closer…
I could feel the pressure of it, crushing every inch of me. Pressing me into the wall. I screamed, but only for a little while. The air was forced from my lungs. I couldn’t inhale more. I struggled to breathe and flailed my arms, pounding them against the soft flesh of the face. But it didn’t do me any good. It kept moving forward… Kept crushing me.
The red light filled my vision. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears and my own terrified heartbeat. The pressure turned into pain. pain that came from everywhere. I could feel my bones bending… And soon, breaking.
My arm had gotten wedged awkwardly between the face and the wall… That was the first to break. I would’ve screamed if I could have. The face pushed it backward, twisting my broken flesh. I could hear my meat squishing… I could feel the white hot pain as bone broke through skin.
I heard it when my ribs began to snap like twigs. My skull was pressed hard against the wall and as I was crushed I started to cry… The pressure was overwhelming… Blackness tugged at the edges of my vision and I prayed for it to come faster. If there was a God, I wanted them to make me pass out right then and there so I didn’t have to feel this anymore.
Every second was a new torture… I felt it as my organs began to shift around in my body. I swear I heard my skull starting to crack. The voice spoke to me one last time.
“Stay… We are not finished yet…”
But I was already fading.
The blackness swallowed my vision just as I heard distant screams. The pressure seemed to suddenly vanish. I vaguely remember something about falling to the ground and then… Nothing.
Just blissful silence.
Seventeen operations… It took seventeen operations to put me back together. I lost one arm. My ribs took months to heal. There was some minor brain damage from having my skull crushed… Who knows if it will ever heal. My spine is broken. I’ll never walk again. Even if my spine wasn’t the issue, my legs are twisted and mangled beyond use.
The doctors tell me I’m lucky to still be alive.
Am I?
The Mad House says that the animatronic ‘malfunctioned’. It was supposed to stop before the railing. Instead, it kept going. They say they don’t understand why or how. Then again, they also say that the Face was just a hollow plaster sculpture on a mechanical arm… They say it should’ve broken when it started pressing up against the railing. I know what I felt when I touched the face though. That wasn’t plaster… That was skin.
My friends say that they thought I’d left the room with them. They hadn’t made it very far before they heard me screaming. They said that the actors had fought to open the door before finally taking it off its hinges. They said that they saw what was behind the face… Unpainted plaster attached to a mechanical arm. They believe everything, even if I don’t…
Maybe this isn’t the Mad House’s fault… Maybe it was just an accident and what I thought I saw and felt was just my mind playing tricks on me in my panic. But I find it hard to just accept that…
Either way, I think I’ve had more than enough of haunted houses.