A modern-day siren, a beautiful creature of the deep.
A few years ago I had hopes, dreams, and the world was my oyster. But for some reason, I decided to look into a puddle.
A small puddle. A glistening pothole that was positioned neatly in the corner of an alley. A beautiful flower grew from its cracks, a strange contrast to its solemn environment. I went down to pick it up. As I stepped away and examined its curves, a woman fluttered into my life.
It started with a hello. Then a hug. Then a kiss. Then an embrace. And then… it.
She made me feel things I’d never felt before. Pure ecstasy. Sexual bliss. A lustful dream straight from the depths of heaven. I’d been around the block, but this was another league. Something inhuman. It couldn’t be real.
I left with explosions of joy. My mind was overwhelmed with emotions. How could someone like this exist? It’s like she had known my sexual needs her whole life… And she was waiting for this moment to emerge. But somehow it was tainted… Tainted by a subtle, bad feeling. I playfully tucked it away.
I soon ran back, and she was waiting. For the next couple of weeks, she rewired my brain. I became addicted to her lust for me, and my lust for her.
I started to put my goals aside, and she became my priority. It felt too good to walk away from. My goals could wait. After all, I could leave at any time.
And then one day, I saw the side of her that I didn’t want to see. I walked by that water-filled pothole I’d crossed so many weeks ago, but it had dried up. What was left was a dark, never-ending hole.
I looked inside. What I saw was a dark sea of men. Those who had fallen. Those who had given in to her kisses… her hot embrace… her sickly love. And I saw how she fed off them. Like an animal.
I looked away and ran home. I tried not to think about it. That couldn’t have been what I think it was. Surely she wouldn’t do the same to me. I was different. I had control.
But she wouldn’t leave my mind. I told myself to be cautious. I told myself to proceed slowly…
But something had already taken hold. Like a puppeteer working a mouth, the question came out of my mouth uncontrollably… “Commit to me?” She looked deep into my eyes as if she had been waiting for this moment. Then she ruffled my hair, ran a finger down my neck, smiled, and told me yes. I swear I saw a spark of something sinister cross her eyes before she looked away. But I ignored it.
I rejoiced in my newfound passion. She was all mine. And I was all hers. We were hooked together.
As the months went by, I fell deeper into her trance. Little by little her shiny scales began to shed, like a feather that had been splattered with mud. She was always right, I was always wrong. I was always to blame, she was always the victim. She walked all over me, yet rewarded me with pure ecstasy when I agreed. I didn’t mind. It was too good.
Those soft hands, pulsating on me. She would ride me into the early hours… Ever so softly. Nothing in my life had ever compared. She was a goddess in the bedroom.
I slowly came to realize she was training me like an animal. My treat was her warm, wet embrace. It became my nirvana, my bliss, my world. And all I had to do to get it was listen.
Year by year her power grew stronger. She became colder, more domineering. But this was no surprise to me. Deep down, I had known what she was. A creature from that dark hole. But I didn’t care.
Suddenly I pushed away. I swam up, gasping for air. I climbed out and looked into a mirror. I didn’t even recognize myself. I was covered in her oils and crusty grime, and I couldn’t flake it off. I had lost dreams, my purpose, and my goals. What had I become?
I had become a part of her. But I was too scared to look away. She whispered in my ear that it could all could be gone in a flash. She had a list of other men waiting for her…
I crawled back in, hopeless. Envy rained on me every day as I saw other men walk by, oblivious to the hole I had fallen it. She could take any one of them. But no one else could have her. She was mine. So I gave her everything.
And I lost myself.
Then one day, on a full moon, I saw a light. I don’t know how it reached me, but it seeped in. It was foggy, blurry. Some type of omen. It told me that I need to leave, now. Before the feeling wore off. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… But I decided to listen. I climbed out of that damned hole and ran.
She followed me out. Like a fish out of water, I looked back and saw her truest form. An aged siren. A hellish creature from the deep. With no purpose but to feed.
I ran as far as I could. She faded in the distance. Now I scrape that crusty grime off my soul… Little by little. Day by day. I feel like I am emerging from a sick dream. A month later I saw a new victim fall into that hole. And I couldn’t help but feel sorrow. But there was nothing I could do.
It was time to look inward. What just happened to me? How did I fall so deeply into that oblivion of lust? I realized it was because of fear. My fear of pursuing my dreams. My fear of disappointment. My fear of failure.
I now have no choice but to pursue that dream, relentlessly and fearlessly. Because the alternative is back in the hole, watching me… waiting for me.