He stabbed me through the chest. The prick.
As my corpse lay down on the ground, all I could think of was getting another can of pringles.
I hated playing World of Warcraft sometimes, especially when some max level arsehole would stroll into the starter zones and starting ganking everybody.
I know, I know: “Just log out and play an alt”.
Yeah, cool, but nah.
I’m going to make the most of my subscription and I’m not gonna let some tool get in the way of my grind.
Move my wisp from the graveyard and find a tree nearby my orc shaman’s corpse. And I’m watching his human fury warrior just camping at my corpse. As in he’s literally set up a campfire next to my corpse. Idiot’s just mocking me now.
I get really well hidden behind the tree, click the ‘Resurrect Now’ button and…he charges and one shots me.
Shit.
I’m at the graveyard again.
Whatever. I don’t get rez sickness at low levels so I’ll just rez at the graveyard and avoid him. So I press the “Resurrect Now” button and…OUT OF NOWHERE the same warrior charges and one shots me.
Unbelievable.
What a dick. Who gets off on this?
Obviously some loser. Now he’s- the warrior dancing on my grave. All I can see are BUR BUR BUR speech bubbles.
Screw this.
So I got up and went into the kitchen. I was just me all by myself tonight. I know I should’ve been working on my college applications but I’ll do that later. Mom’s been hassling me about it for weeks but when both your parents are out for the night why would you waste your time writing college applications? That’s lame as.
Now you’re probably thinking: Isn’t playing an MMO all by yourself lame instead? But I say to you: probably, maybe. I just really don’t want to write my applications right now.
But your future. What about your future? You are almost certainly saying. But you’re not my mother so get off my case.
The kitchen was pretty bare to be honest. Shopping’s supposed to be tomorrow but I thought there might be something in here at least. I was going for pringles but it looks like I already at the last of them a few hours ago. There wasn’t really anything in here.
There was still a loaf of bread. I could still have toast. It isn’t exactly everyone’s ideal night when their parents aren’t home, having toast for dessert I mean.
Okay. I get it. I’m not the coolest person around. Other people might have parties, invite half the school, accidentally trash the house and get so drunk they hook up with the hot chick at school. Some people just don’t have exciting lives y’know?
I heard the crash.
Then my toast popped up.
What the hell was that?
I lived in a quiet neighbourhood and there never really any noise at night. But that sound just then, paralyzed me. I stood there dumb. I thought for a moment.
It was definitely inside the house right? I didn’t imagine it right? Or did I?
Didn’t sound like a door. Or maybe it was? I looked at my phone: 9:15pm glared on the screen. It was still too early for mom and dad to be home, but it had to be.
I called out, “Mom, dad? You home.”
No body responded.
I left my phone in front of the toaster with my toast and wandered back into the living. From here I could see front alcove of the house but the light was left off just like I left it. Even the front porch light was off. They left before it was dark so I didn’t bother turning the porch light on.
So I go over and just as I flick the switch…
CRASH!
It was from behind me. I stood and stared in the darkness. Nothing, silence, darkness.
This was starting to freak me out. There was no one here, no wind, nor rain, nor hail. I turned on the hallway lights and saw the stairs and the basement door.
I don’t even know what the crash could’ve been, maybe it was from upstairs? A window perhaps. Yeah, probably a window. I’ll go look up stairs.
My feet trembled. I don’t know why. I ain’t scared or anything. Probably just a tree or something. Even though it sounded like it was from inside…
The hallway window. Fine. My bedroom. Fine. Parent’s bedroom. Fine. Bathroom. Okay.
CRASH.
It was definitely from downstairs. The basement. It was from the basement.
I was probably being robbed. Bullshit. That’s just me acting up. There’s no way I’m being robbed. Wouldn’t they come through the backdoor anyway? I shook my head. I really had to stop being a pussy.
I swaggered, I didn’t just walk, I swaggered downstairs. Proving to absolutely no one that I wasn’t scared being by myself. I’m going to college next year, how could I be scared of sounds coming from the basement. Sounds like the most cliché shit ever.
I put my hand on the doorknob and held my breath. If there was someone down there, what was I even going to do? Fight them. That was so stupid it couldn’t possibly happen.
I stared at my fingers holding the door knob. My fingers were white, strained, and shaking. This was stupid, I said to myself and with a deep breath I swung open the door.
Nothing happened. I stared into pitch black darkness.
I’m such an idiot sometimes. There’s nothing in here.
I turned on the light.
There, in the middle of the basement floor, was some guy in a football helmet wielding two axes. He turned and stared at the top of the stairs.
I was fucked.
My legs ran, almost automatically, and I headed…up the stairs.
I still don’t know what I was thinking. I just panicked. But when I was halfway up the stairs I saw this, this…beserker, burst out of the basement and slam into the wall. I didn’t look for long, I turned right at the top of the stairs, opened the door to my bedroom, ran in, and hid under the bed.
I heard nothing for a while. I thought the coast was clear.
I wanted to scream out to the neighbourhood, wake everyone up and get someone to call the police. I almost knew, as soon as I opened my mouth that jock beserker would burst in and hack me to pieces.
Calling out was not an option.
My phone. I instinctively reached into my pocket for my phone and panicked. As if I already hadn’t done enough panicking. I left my one ticket out of here by the toaster downstairs.
The only way to my phone was probably meeting and being hacked to death by the quarterback of home invaders. That was out of the question.
The only way out was through the second story window, it may leave me vulnerable for a minute as I go through, not to mention it’s not the safest of landings. But before I could roll out from under the bed, I heard the loud thud of his footsteps going up the stairs. He stopped at the top with almost a stomp. I froze.
I shouldn’t have been so shit-scared but I was. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t make a sound. I couldn’t do anything without that psycho finding out where I was and hacking me to death.
Then I heard a dial. My phone was dialling. It stopped.
“Hello? Darling? Why you calling?”
That bastard had my phone and rang my mum. He slowly stepped towards and stopped in front of my bedroom door. I could see the soles of his boots underneath the door frame, the light from the hallway seeping under the door.
“Hey there maam.”
“Hello? Who is this?”
“I’m just the warrior about to hack your son to death.”
He dropped the phone. My mom on loudspeaker kept saying hello. I panicked. I sprang from under the bed and thrust open the window. Just as fast, beserker axe quarterback kicked down my bedroom door. Adrenaline pumping, I was faster, I dived, straight up dived through my window. He threw an axe at my foot and just missed, embedding the hatchet on the sill.
I fell on the bushes below, exploding off once I landed and bolted out across the street.
I screamed. Oh did I scream.
“Fucking help me. He’s going to kill me!”
Light after light in house after house turned on. I ran down the street, not looking back until I reached the curb.
An old man was in the front lawn and watched me as I ran for dear life.
“Son, what are ya hollering about.”
“The police,” I said gasping for breath. “Call the police.”
The police, sirens blazing, came ten minutes later. There was no sign of forced entry. There was no damage anywhere. They found my phone next to the uneaten, cold toast.
No one saw anyone fitting my description in the neighbourhood that night. When he heard me screaming, the gun nut across the road from me sat on his front lawn with his AR-15 but, to his disappointment, saw no one leave the house.
The police were nice about it, my parents believed me, but I got the nickname “Scream Queen” at school about it. Said Chucky the starting quarterback was gonna kill me. I just ignore them. I won’t see any of those idiots in a year anyway. I know what happened to me.
I didn’t log in to WoW for a few days. I know, I know I made a whole stink about getting the most of my subscription earlier but getting attacked by an axe wielding maniac in real life sort of dampens the fun you know?
I didn’t know what to think. When I logged back on with Orc Shaman, there was that same human fury warrior, from days earlier. Waiting for me. And he ganked me.