I work as a low-level government agent and I will never see some things the same again
(Before we start, this is being written on lack of sleep so please excuse any grammar or spelling (mainly stuff that doesn’t make sence) and this will go into strange conspiracy theory territory so beware cringe factor)
The story
I don’t know how long before they figure this is me posting. I probably don’t have long. About three months ago I began working as a low level government agent in a small facility in the US. I recently transferred from The UK division as a basic “secret police” type personel, mainly protecting government members etc. but I transferred over to the “Public deception” facility. I get payed a lot not to say this stuff but I can’t not say anything anymore.
First things first, the pigeons aren’t spies. Mostly That pigeon staring at you in the park,following you around, that’s a normal one, the other ones though they are weird. They are the ones that avoid you, that don’t eat the dropped food,that just look slightly… wrong. If I figure out how I’ll show an example of a real vs spy pigeon but it’s hard to tell, especially with technology advances and even plans to use taxidermy to make the drones instead of fake feathers, I’d say 5% of all the pigeons are spies. Anyway the next thing Is shockingly, whales. Specifically beluga whales. That isn’t a mass of fat it’s a small oxygen tank and wires, covered in padding. Belugas are infact people in consumes. (Very rarely might I add, the suits are extremely expensive and heavy) a close friend of mine is a beluga off the coast of Russia, they have very expensive radios to pick up subs and transmissions, yes we spy on Russia and they have there own belugas. (I can post a beluga transcript if needed)
Next are dogs and cats (and other pets) B̵̴҉̞̠̘̩͍̱́͊͗͜͠͠͠͠E҉̰̰͎̆͞W̵̶̸̻̼͉̱̄͗ͭ͟͢͢͠A҉҉̦̣̤͔̟̩̋̿̏ͦ̈́̍͟͠R̴҉̷̨̖̮̉͑ͯ̑̋͟͠E҉̰̰͎̆͞ 1) has to be those little orange poodle mixes, cute little things ended up in 90% of homes in America I swear. Those things aren’t dogs,or robots for that matter. It’s not been disclosed what they are but some of the guys in my office block theorise they are some sort of shapeshifter,same with some cats.
2) cats, Sometimes. Acoustic kitty ended badly.
3҉̨͕͕̰̟̔̂́͟͢͜͝) birds.
And this year, when you go pick up that little doodle/mini poodle whatever for Christmas,remember. A spy is for life, not just for Christmas.
Update: I’m gonna adapt the “beluga” thing, a close friend of mine recently joined the program, they wear large suits (they are shockingly lifelike) the skin is a silicone-rubber type material and the inside is thick silicone with a light padding all over. Arms go in the fins and legs go in the tail (etc) there are controls to blink and open the mouth, a small interior remote, and the big head is just mostly padding, but also a radio, my friend thinks it’s water powered through the blowhole. Anyway enough about the whales
That creepy poodle that talks with buttons. Idk where she went rouge but she escaped the program. We are on watch making sure it doesn’t say government secrets. That’s not a robot, not even a dog. The first time I saw one of these things was yesterday. My post got removed within seconds, web crawlers But these things, they are weird. They remind me of those creatures from MHA (yes I know cringe) that nobu thing. They are the size of a small dog and kinda look like wolves but somethings off, first is that they have no fur,just black skin. They also have a sort of “grin” they are always smiling, not a joyful smile though,the sort of grin a proud serial killer would have, paired with large,glowing eyes these things scare me. I watched a glass cell full of them,emitting some weird shriek and climbing the ceilings and scaling walls, that’s why it was air locked shut. But when I approached (they wouldn’t know me) they morphed into various animals, especially ones I like. A small white husky pup with the prettiest eyes,a black cat resembling my old childhood cat, and a small fluffy orange dog, barking and running around. I stepped back just before they lowered in a large chunk of meat,dripping blood and raw. The beasts switched back as I got out of sight ripping large chunks of the meat and swallowing it whole. They played like normal dogs on the security footage but they are smarter. They can relay information somehow but they are animals (sort of) . So next time you see a video of a dog talking with buttons or your neighbours get a little orange dog, watch out.
“No matter where you go, everyone’s connected.” -Lain Iwakura
Sorry about the text wall.