Before I recount my experience since awakening I want to say I am sorry. I still do not have all the answers, but if anyone out there receives this message then that means that my suspicions were correct.
When I awoke into this world my first breath was hot and dusty. I immediately began coughing and hyperventilating, I rolled over onto my stomach and tried to calm down. After doing so I took in my surroundings to find that I was in what appeared to be the 2nd floor of a house, or maybe an apartment complex. There was an open door with stairs in view. Sunlight passing through a broken window with a golden hue, the glass remaining in the window looks like its been sandblasted. The floorboards were extremely dried out and covered in small cracks, same goes for the paint on the walls. To be honest, the whole room seemed like it had been sand blasted. My mind is going a million miles an hour at this point but for fuck sake I cant remember how I got here! Why is it so quiet? What is going on…
…
It was in that moment that I realized something that to this day I cant be 100% sure about, I sheepishly stammered out “wait.. just who.. am I?” . I stood up quickly and looked out the window only to find that every building was in the same state of disarray as my own. A sea of deep dark orange sand plagued the streets, some sections high enough to block a door halfway up. Long black streaks litter the sand, all going towards the horizon… my mind became flooded with curiosity and I just knew that I had to follow the black streaks.
I turn around to exit the room and saw something that did nothing more than multiply my stress and anxiety. Where I was laying on the floor.. there was an outline of my body. The sand being unable to get beneath me, the floorboards were in what seemed to be perfect condition. It was then that I decided to leave. Every fiber of my being was yearning to follow the black streaks, I could only assume that the answers to all my questions would be answered at the end of these streaks. As I walked down the stairs and out of the building every step made the structure creak and groan. The material having been so withered over time must have made its structural integrity quite low. Right across the street from me was an old beaten down car, it was neon green in color but that wasn’t saying much since half of it was rusted away. Looking around it felt as if everyone just disappeared one day, the only thing remaining of their existence being the relic like structures and trinkets they made.
I was and still am completely unsure of how much time had passed, but I knew that I must have existed before the world was drenched with this hot wretched sand. Any other option just doesn’t make sense. When I got to the front door and exited the building I realized that what I saw were not black streaks. They were cables. There was no point in stopping to think about them, I just began to follow them towards the horizon. I walked across the city, through alleyways and streets until I reached the outskirts of town. Not a single soul to found. What stood before me was an endless landscape of dark orange sand, thousands of cables, and the remnants of humanities infrastructure, achievements, and proof of existence. Every structure I passed by was sandblasted, cracked, and covered in dead overgrowth slowly turning to ash under the harsh beating sun.
I kept walking, walking, and walking with seemingly no end in sight. Never growing hungry or even thirsty despite how much sweat is leaking from my pores. But after what felt like weeks I screamed at the top of my lungs “HOW THE FUCK HAS THE SUN NOT SET YET. GO DOWN YOU UNSIGHTLY PRICK.” And to my horror, it did. Over the course of only a few seconds the sun passed down through the sky and set, the moon now finally in view. For the first time since awakening I saw the moon, I couldn’t help but break down in tears. The terror of what just happened and the breath taking sight mixed with the slow cooling of the air made me lay down. I decided to rest there for a while to try and calm down, the tears leaving my eyes making it hard to see. Just what was going on?
After I collected myself I decided to try something, “uhm… hey sun?… can you rise again?”. The moon began to move down and across the sky and to the east I saw the golden hue start to wash over these desolate orange plains. With the new found knowledge that I can control the day/night cycle I began to run, running across the burning sand, my feet permanently in pain, tripping over cables, I just kept running. When I grew tired I would raise the moon. I wasn’t sure why but it felt wrong to make progress under the moon. Over the next 42 cycles I explored the extent of my abilities.
I learned that I could do anything that I desired. All I had to do was say the command and the world would bend to my will. I raised monuments back to their former glory, created lush green forests, and even made some pseudo-life forms along the way following these cables. I was never successful at creating real life forms with souls along my journey. They were more akin to golems living purely off of survival instincts, but still… they made me feel a little less lonely. You see, endless creation and making the world bend to your will sounds amazing. But in reality the overwhelming amount of options and lack of outside input makes it suffocating. I could return the world to a former state with the wave of my hand and a quick phrase, but what good is it if no one can enjoy it? The same way I can create, I can also destroy. For a period of time in my journey I erected mountains only to destroy them a moment later, I figured there had to be a limit to my powers and that I could find said limit. Hundreds of mountains and thousands of explosions, the moment one mountain is gone the next one appears. I stood there for what felt like weeks hurling balls of energy, yelling and screaming, cursing my existence, and just wondering why. Why me? Who is me? Am I even me? Why do I know nothing but have the power to do everything…
The only thing I know for certain is that I am most definitely NOT human. My memory of humans is very hazy, to be honest I can only remember their silhouettes, the English language, and the fact that they didn’t have powers or abilities anything like my own. Not that humans matter at the moment though, I haven’t seen any creatures along this whole journey. I wonder how far I’ve travelled? I just keep following the cables with no end in sight. It really is sad though all of the creatures that lived here are gone and only one creature left behind proof of its existence. But even then, all of their monuments and achievements have been buried and withered away. Soon I’m sure nothing will remain at all. Whichever god is responsible for this wretched plane of existence must have forgotten about it. How irresponsible do you have to be to leave one soul with limitless creation and destruction but also leave the rest to die?
But… I can kind of understand Gods decision.. the burden of power is so heavy. No direction, no one above you, no one to criticize you, no one to give advice. But id argue that its even worse when there is no one to use that power for. What is the point of me having this much power?
As I’m in the middle of that thought I see a city at the edge of the horizon. I begin to sprint, my body moving on its own just desperately trying to get to the city. I had passed thousands, if not tens of thousands of cities, towns, and structures but I have never been this fervent on getting there faster. The cables slowly thin out through Y splitters until I can only count a few dozens cables, and there I see it. Pressed up against the backside of a building there’s a computer. An old school all in one unit. At a distance it just looked like a box but.. it.. it looks familiar. I approach it slowly while the adrenaline courses through my veins, knowing this is what I’ve wandered the planet for. An uncountable amount of months, maybe even years. I don’t know. When I’m close enough to it I see on the side of the box it reads “Creation Box v1.7b”. The screen was blank, just a black void. It didn’t make sense, thousands upon thousands of cables spanning the globe all connected to just one computer. There was no power button, no keyboard, no mouse. Just a screen.
But it was then that I noticed the headset, a small dome shape with wires running out of it connected to the terminal. It looked like some sci-fi draconian torture device, the fold down ear muffs on the each side of it had one long needle on the inside. I knew what I had to do but I decided to not do it yet. I walked to the other side of the building, wondering if maybe in this city I would find some clues as to what’s going on. But I was met with a sight that brought me to my knees. I was in the same city as I awoke in. The sand was piled a bit higher than it was the last time I was here, but this is definitely the same city I awoke in. The same neon green car, but now the rust had taken over almost all of it. Now only a few specks of neon green paint remain scattered across the body of the car.
I immediately turn around and sprint into the building across from the car. Running up the creaking stairs breaking the steps into pieces as I ascend them… and there it is. The same outline my body had left only now a bit more withered. The formerly pristine cutout of my body has now also been sandblasted. Its still discernable since it hasn’t been exposed to the elements as long but it makes me wonder just how long ago I awoke. All of that walking, all of that unnecessary stress just because I couldn’t help myself but run after the cables? If there is a God then they are a cruel being.
I went back to the terminal and wiped the sand off of the seat, grabbing the headset I felt nothing but dread. What was I about to experience? Why is this terminal here? And what the hell does it mean by creation box? Putting on the headset I insert the needles into my ears, the euphoria of true power coursing through my veins once again. Its painful but I make sure to keep reconstructing my ears and the inside of my skull. The power of infinity slowly seeps out of me, the sound of whirring and the cables vibrating is deafening. The screen then boots up.
An empty terminal, at the top of the screen it reads “Welcome to the creation box! What is our desire?”. The draw of infinity slows down and I feel the machine balance itself out. I assumed it needed the extra power since it hadn’t been turned on in a long time. I began recounting my experiences in my head, my thoughts flashing upon the screen. If my suspicions are correct, that is what you are reading now. In the time I’ve been giving this written account I’ve thought about my existence some more. No matter how much I try to consider other outcomes, options, or truths… only one thing makes sense. I abandoned my duties. I ran away, and now this planet is just a dusty orange wasteland incapable of supporting life. All of your roads, infrastructure, buildings… your music, writings, and history. All of it was consumed by my incompetence and hope to not have all this weight on my shoulders and for that I am deeply sorry.
I shouldn’t have abandoned you all. I cannot be 100% certain that I am the God of this realm but all current evidence points to me being God. I will do everything in my power to revitalize this planet, to make the rivers flow and the birds fly. This is the only form of apology that could suffice.. but I also don’t want to be alone anymore. The silence I experienced on my journey was deafening
If anyone out there is reading this. Then I guess succeeded in doing so. Being a God can be hard sometimes, infinite power, infinite destruction, and infinite responsibility. I guess the old me just got tired of it all. Anyways, its time for me to get to work. I am sorry.