…Okay, Already, I can tell what you are thinking, And no.
This is not some kinky roleplay or sexually gratifying fetish, I am truly and genuinely scared right now.
Where do I begin? My name is Thomas Baker, My parents probably named me that because they ran out of names.
My other siblings, Elias, Dixon, Charleston, And Gustov, They all had interesting, and unique names, But not me, I was Thomas.
Thomas, the disabled, stupid, Lame, and umimpressive kid.
I was born with a genetic illness where the bones in my left leg were severely distorted, And as result, I need a brace in order to even stand properly.
And don’t even get me started about the difficulty of running!
Oh, and my brain was pretty messed up too.
I am not medically educated, so don’t even bother asking me for an official diagnosis, but according to Ma, I hit my head really hard when I was 2, and I sorta scrambled my eggs prematurely, And stunted myself.
I think I’m a 70 on the iq chart? I don’t know.
After a long battle with the idiotic governemnt, My parents managed to secure a disability check for them, and for myself once I was old enough.
I could not manage the american school system, Children would tease me and torture me, Like all kids do, They were so cruel…..
Anyways, I’m sure you are uninterested in hearing a sob story, So let me move on.
I live in an average house, at the very end of a cul-de-sac, with only 2 other houses next to me.
And even then, Both of them are owned by 2 rich people who only come for the holidays.
I always loved the lonliness that this place granted me, And I suppose now, It’s the only comfort, That nobody is going to see me in this horrible state.
And if you are wondering how I can afford this stuff with nothing but a disability check, My Ma and Pa are also higher middle class, and are willing to support me more due to the rest of my siblings being fairly self-sufficent themselves, and not being disabled.
But regardless, Onto the real reason I am typing this.
One night, As is usual, I was scrolling the web on my computer, Higher end system, but nothing to brag on youtube about, per se.
I was browsing a website about money making/saving tactics when I saw it.
A popup ad.
I was just about to click it away, not interested in most forms of advertisements at all, when I noticed.
It read:
“Feeling left out? bored? Like you contribute nothing to society? Click here to learn more!”
I had a good anti-virus, and figured it might have something to offer, so I clicked.
On the website, was a downloadable document, It read:
Have you ever felt like your existence is pointless, Like there is nothing whatsoever you are around for, like as soon as you die, you will be remembered by none? We have the ultimate, and final solution for that! Try “Mutare Regina Antophilia”. Become something divine, resplendent, Glorious, Eternal.
It… sounded like a perfume advertisement, But it was offering free food, and the firewall claimed no danger was present, so I trusted the website.
It asked for my address, And a description of my body.
That was it.
No nigerian prince, No asking for my social security number, No request for my credit card number, none of that.
I thought it was too good to be true, and in hindsight, If something is too good to be true, It probably is.
But enough of that philisocial BS, you didn’t come here to learn a life lesson, now did you?
No, you came here to see me suffer, and you most certainly will.
Mere days later, A metal container arrived at my door, Containing what I could only presume to be the aforementioned “Mutare Regina Antophilia”.
As most tend to do upon receiving a large package that was for free (like on christmas..), I got out my box-opener, And cut the tape off.
Inside, were 4 fairly big mason jars of a white, smooth liquid.
Slowly, Not knowing what to make of the strange fluid, I took one out and opened it.
It was labeled as a food, with nutriotional labels on each, So I did what my weak brain does when faced with something edible and abundant.
..I started to eat it.
As soon as the creamy, delectable, rich, Pudding-like slime hit my tongue, I was addicted.
I couldn’t help myself, and had eaten the entire jar before I could finally slow the fuck down!
Realizing what I had done, I did what my weak brain does when faced with personal conflict, I turned on my heel and went to bed.
…When I woke up, I felt hungry, Extremely hungry.
I ran over to my fridge, Which was usually not very full to begin with, To save money, And started to eat whatever I could find.
Compared to the jelly, Where I simply stopped feeling hunger after eating that 1 jar of the aforementioned fluid, After eating far more than that in normal food, I began to realize that something wasn’t right about me, But due to my complacent nature, I wasn’t yet ready to go out and do something.
It took a solid box of donuts, Bag of apples, 2 packs of balogne, and other obscene amounts of foodstuffs, for my gut to finally quiet down.
I laid on the couch, Already not the strongest, I had been feeling strangely lethargic as of late, And even I was beginning to connect the dots.
And so, Right now, I type this out on my laptop, laying on my bed, feeling exhausted after a mere 7 hours of normal life.
If anyone here knows what the fuck is happening to me, I would greatly appreciate it.
Sincerely, Thomas Baker.