The following is an audio transcript of a YouTube video released by the account under the title Eye_High_In_The_Sky. It details the controversial and debated events surrounding the animator Minerva Wink and the gruesome crimes of the Cartoon Killings. Contained within is the police interview with Wink. The transcript has been edited and shortened so that all relevant information is given.
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What’s up guys! It’s your local conspiracy theorist, Whackjob McGee, and welcome to another installment of internet mysteries. But before we get to the video, I want to thank the schlubs sponsoring my content, the great guys at *redacted*, the very best in VPNs. More info about them at the end of the video.
Now, guys, this video is very exciting for me personally. I’ve been following this case ever since it popped up in the public consciousness. Frankly, this case, of which I have studied for more than the college exams that I never went to, is the strangest thing I’ve seen, and that’s saying a lot considering cases like Amber Heard. I am talking about the case of Minerva Wink and the Cartoon Killings.
If you don’t know who Minerva Wink is, then you’ve been under a rock for the past couple of years. For those who don’t know, let me catch you up so we can get into the meat of this video.
Minerva Wink is—was—a YouTube animator that got her start with streaming how-to videos of how to draw cartoon characters. Then, out of nowhere, she started releasing animated videos of her characters. Her most popular was a rabbit called Lucky McFoot—glad to know there’s another “Mc-“ in the world. Minerva Wink kept releasing these short animations on a weekly basis, and this gained her a following on YouTube because of its fluid animation and, well, people like watching new cartoons. This went on for a while until, again, out of nowhere, with no announcement, Minerva released a full fledge cartoon! Featuring Lucky and other characters like Clover O’Hare, Zeke the Cat, and more, the cartoon reaching like a bazillion likes and this set Minerva Wink on a career into the big leagues, rubbing elbows with studios like Disney and Warner Bros.
Soon, The Good Lucky McFoot show was created under Minerva’s own studio, Wink-and-Blink Animation. Cartoons were being pooped out of the studio like it just got back from Taco Bell. Minerva and her team were on the top of the world. They’ve gotten toy deals—you can see plushies just up the wazoo in stores; apparel with all the cartoon faces on them; and lastly, the soon-to-be-open funplex: Lucky’s Entertainium.
Unfortunately, with every high, there are rock bottom lows. No, Minerva Wink didn’t lose herself to drugs or to some sex cult or some other sick thing our elites get themselves into. What damned Minerva Wink were the mysterious deaths that befell her fellow animators working on those cartoons. What started out as what seemed like accidents started to become more and more suspicious on account of how they were dying.
Before I get ahead of myself and spoil everything, and now that we’re all caught up, let’s get back to what I was saying before the history lesson. You already know that Minerva was arrested on suspicions and brought in for questioning by the LA police. What happened in that time of her arrest and her death is the stuff of internet legend because to this day we still don’t know what happened! One second, she was brought in and the next she was pronounced dead. The police were deemed innocent because the coroner determined there was no physical harm to her body, but that was all the media got from him. Her death was deemed accidental, and she was buried in her hometown of Elizabeth, Colorado—closed casket, mind you.
Naturally, no one wanted to answer questions about her mysterious death; the cops would not talk. There was a brief period of tensions—police brutality and the like—stuff that gets people in a tizzy. But, like everything in our media, the story died down and we moved on to other things… Stuff about elections and presidents and Oscar slaps. But for the internet sleuths and YouTubers like me, well, we weren’t letting this go. Something happened to Minerva in that police station, and we needed to know what!
What we needed was the interview tape. If she was brought in for questioning, they would have to record it. Those tapes became our Holy Grail, the missing piece in this puzzle of mystery. We were never going to get it through conventional means, and even if one of us were a ninja or spy capable of getting it that way, the tapes eluded us at every turn. That is, until the tape leaked out to the internet.
Of course, there was an attempt to scrub the internet of the leak, but, if you’ve been here for some time, the internet is forever. That didn’t stop admins from banning users from sharing it, following protocol, and doing damage control. This video will play that tape in its entirety, so for the first few viewers, congratulations! For the rest of you, too late; the YouTube masters will likely pull the video despite my sponsors.
Before I play the tape, just know that these are Minerva Wink’s last words, her last testament. These were her final moments before her death. I don’t need to tell you that it will get difficult to listen to by the end. For those wanting to brave that end, you’ve been warned.
I have provided subtitles for my hard-of-hearing-because-I’m-eating-chips fans in the audience. Without further ado, I present the fabled Minerva Wink Tape:
*Tape begins*
Officer Buzz Stone (BS): This is Officer Buzz Stone of the Los Angeles Police. Here in the room with me is Detective Hank Basil and Minerva Wink. State your name and age for the record.
Minerva Wink (MW): Uh, um, my name is Minerva Wink… I’m 25 years old.
BS: Ms. Wink, do you know why we brought you in for questioning?
MW: It’s because my friends are dead.
BS: Precisely. You are not being charged with anything, we just want to get all our ducks in a row, get all the facts.
MW: I don’t know anything, I swear!
BS: Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. We just need the facts. So, let’s start with a few questions. Can you tell me about yourself?
MW: Um… Well… I don’t know what this has to do with anything.
BS: Humor me.
MW: *sigh* I was born in Colorado, in Elizabeth. It was a quiet life, a good life. But it was like if you didn’t fit in with anybody you had to make your own little circle. I wasn’t bullied or anything, but I hated the nickname other students gave me: Minnie. They called me Minnie Mouse, and I always hated it—I hate Minnie Mouse.
Detective Hank Basil (HB): That’s when you began drawing, is it not?
MW: Yes. I began drawing a cat that would chase after Minnie and… well, cats eat mice, right?
HB: That cat became Zeke the Cat, right?
MW: People think Lucky McFoot was my first, but it was Zeke. Out of all the characters I created, I loved him the most.
BS: So, being called Minnie drove you to draw a cartoon eating the mouse, and that led you to making your own cartoons, right?
MW: That sums it up.
BS: Can you tell us your cartoon characters? For the record?
MW: Uh, sure… There’s Clover O’Hare, she’s a girl rabbit, real girly girl. Momma Bear; she’s pretty self-explanatory. Wolfgang; he’s a musical wolf, always carrying a violin with him, and has a short fuse, like the foil or rival to the main character. And of course, Lucky McFoot and Zeke the Cat.
BS: What made Lucky stand out that he became the star? Why do you think he was so popular with people?
MW: I don’t know. He was just a carbon copy of Bugs Bunny. There isn’t anything special about him. But people loved him, and he helped me build my own studio.
BS: Your studio—Wink-and-Blink—how did that come to be?
MW: I went to college for animation. I made plenty of friends in my class, and they all had the same ambition as I did: being part of an animation studio. Once I started my YouTube channel and I started to get traction, I reached out to them and asked if they wanted to start a studio with me. They all agreed. All we needed was a loan, and that’s where Stanislaus Blink—the Blink in Wink—came in and funded us because he loved our animations.
BS: And with an entire animation team behind you and funds from Blink, your show could release regularly.
MW: Yes. It was like we were in heaven, and the money flowed.
BS: Can you tell me when the first murder occurred?
MW: Don’t make me relive that. I saw it.
BS: Please, Ms. Wink. For the record.
MW: Fine… Amy Sing. She was my best friend in college. She was the colorist and was the best around. I found her in her apartment… Oh God!
BS: Can you tell us what you found?
MW: Please…
BS: Ms. Wink?
MW: Her head was beaten to mush by a mallet! By an overly large mallet! Are you happy!
BS: Right after you discovered Sing’s body, you called the police, is that correct?
MW: Yes… I was so shocked—frozen in place, staring at her dead body… You guys came in, did your crime scene stuff, questioned me, and that was that.
HB: We ran forensics on that mallet; a thing like that had to have thousands of fingerprints on it. There weren’t any, just the brain matter of Ms. Sing. It was if it was brand fucking new.
BS: I know this is difficult for you, Ms. Wink. But do you know who could’ve done this? From what the crime scene investigators saw, they determined it was a crime of passion. And I agree with them. You don’t commit something like that unless…
MW: I get it! I don’t know… Please, can we not talk about them?
BS: I apologize, but it’s for the record. Amy Sing wasn’t the last unfortunately.
MW: Don’t make me relive them…
BS: They called them the Cartoon Killings. Appropriate and gruesome. And I gotta say, it was creatively horrific…
*A shuffling of papers can be heard*
BS: Alan Johnson: Shot through the head by a pistol; a flag with the word BANG stuck out of the exit wound. Mike Santiago: His jaw was blown off from his skull by an exploding cigar. Jenna Reeves: Her piano exploded; her fingers were nowhere to be found. Austin Todd: Run over by his own truck. Samantha Chen: Crushed to death by an anvil—an anvil, with the word ACME on it! Marcus Jones: His shotgun backfired on him while he was at the shooting range.
MW: You don’t have to list them all! They were my friends!
*MW is sobbing at this point, though she tries to contain them*
HB: You don’t want to remember Dorothy Nelson’s death?
MW: Oh God! Dotty!
HB: She was smacked on the back by a massive paddle so hard that it blew out her stomach. Fuck, her baby shot out of her like a goddamn bullet! They both died right then and there! But you know all about that, don’t you?
MW: I found her; I went to visit her, and I saw her. All the blood… The way she looked at her baby, how she reached for him.
HB: Yeah, you were conspicuously around for most of these killings.
BS: Alright, take it easy, Detective.
HB: No, fuck that! That prissy little fuck is guilty! She killed her team!
BS: Basil, we don’t know that! We have no proof of that! You’re severely out of line right now.
HB: Then what the fuck is this then?
BS: What is this?
HB: It’s a goddamn shopping list! Read it, Stone! It’s her handwriting! Oh, this making you queasy, Wink? Good!
BS: Head mush? Lady fingers? Jawbone? Pearly whites? Roadkill guts? Baby juice? Jesus… Where did you find this?
HB: We found it when we searched her crappy little studio. We also found your little Satan pit too!
BS: Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you talking about?
HB: Her basement was decked out like some witch coven lair. Pitch black with candles all around, circles drawn in blood—we checked, and pictures of her cartoons everywhere. She’s a fucked-up kid, Stone! I don’t know if she’s a witch or not, all I do know is that she fucking killed a mom and her baby, and all her friends too!
BS: Calm down, Basil!
HB: I ought to do the godly thing and dispense some justice now.
BS: I need some backup in here!
*The door to the interrogation room opens and HB is physically taken away by an unknown number of officers. The door closes and BS takes his seat*
BS: I apologize. I gotta say, these new revelations: this macabre shopping list, this…Satan pit… It’s not looking good for you.
*MW breaks into uncontrollable sobs*
MW: I didn’t want to do it. He made me do it.
BS: Who made you do it?
MW: …A crazy psycho fan…
BS: Is this the same fan we arrested a few years back?
MW: No… He’s new. He’s sick. He’s obsessed with the show; he’s obsessed with me. He’s sick! He’ll kill me once he knows that I’ve told you all this. Please save me.
BS: Is this a confession? Were you complicit in the Killings?
MW: Yes! I confess! I helped kill my friends! I’ll say whatever you want! Just help me, please!
*A full minute of silence passes*
BS: *sigh* Listen: I can’t guarantee anything. What I can promise you is protection. If what you say is true, then you’ll be safer in here than out there. We’ll house you here for the time being. As long as you cooperate, give us what we need to bring justice to the deceased, then maybe we can cut a deal with the courts for a lighter sentence.
MW: I’ll do anything… Please…
*Another moment of silence passes before BS rises from his chair*
BS: I’m gonna get some coffee, let everything sink in. I’ll be back in five.
*The door opens and closes. MW is left alone in the room. Her crying is heard until she abruptly stops. A gasp escapes her*
MW: No. No! You can’t be here!
Unknown Voice (UV): What’s up, Minnie? I would’ve settled on “What’s up, Doc” but that’s just a little too on the nose, dontcha think?
MW: Get away from me, you monster!
UV: I’m actually kinda hurt at that. Monster; psycho fan; sick? Is that what you really think of me, of your creation? I thought what we had was special.
MW: No, no, no, no, no…
UV: I always thought of you as a mother figure, you know—Mother Minnie. After all, you birthed me into this world by pen and paper…then birthed me again into physical form.
MW: I didn’t want that! I didn’t want my friends to die!
UV: But you wanted fame. You wanted your legacy to outlive you, to overpower anything else in the media. You wanted a shortcut. And shortcuts…well…cut. Someone had to get cut after all. And that’s where my friends and I come in. We were the only ones that could give you what you wanted, but we wanted stuff too, Minnie. And what did you do? You took the deal and sold your friends without even a hint of hesitation.
MW: It wasn’t like that!
UV: Don’t try to weasel yourself out of this, Minnie. You harvested your friends’ body parts—the ones that we needed—and we made your cartoon the best thing on the ol’ interweb systems. And I gotta say, Santiago’s pearly whites are doing me wonderfully.
MW: Why are you here? I did everything you said… You don’t need me anymore! Just leave me alone. I’m going to prison anyways.
UV: Kinda crappy that you’ll just name some guy to take the fall. No, don’t look like an idiot—that’s what you were going to do. And no, unfortunately, I am not done with you. Poor Zeke is still unfinished, you know.
MW: What do you mean?
UV: Well, a mother gives her heart to her child, right? And Zeke was always your favorite, after all.
MW: No, no! Stay away from me! Help! Somebody help me! Help m—
*Several noises are heard: The ripping of flesh; the breaking of bone; MW’s slowly dying screams. UV is not heard again. Minutes pass by and BS returns to the room*
BS: Alright, Ms. Wink, I do believe we got—Oh… Oh fuck! Shit! Goddammit, what the fuck! I need a doctor here now!
*HB enters the room*
HB: Jesus! What the fuck happened to her chest!? It’s fucking open! Fuck, there’s so much blood!
*Tape ends*
…Horrifying, isn’t it? I’m still floored by it. Minerva Wink, from what we heard on the tape, was torn apart by someone that just entered the room and disappeared like a ghost. And you’re not going crazy; the voice you heard after Stone left was the same voice of none other than Lucky McFoot himself! I’ve been reeling at this because… How? It’s impossible!
The voice of Lucky is listed in the credits of each episode, and I tried to reach out to him. But he doesn’t exist. The few people with the name were old men; they didn’t even know who Lucky McFoot was. It was the same for all the voices credited for each character; none of these folks were involved with the show! So how can the voice of Lucky be in the same room as Minerva at the time of her death? Was it all a setup? Were the cops so disgusted at the thought of her killing her team—her friends—that they killed her? Is that that why they refused to release this tape? Basil sure seemed like he wanted to off her.
I don’t know. This tape only brought with it more questions and even more theories. Some of my fellow theorists say that Minerva Wink made a deal with a demon that took Lucky’s voice when he came to collect. Some agree with Basil when he claimed she was a witch. Some say she was a cannibal and ate her friends but only the parts she thought were good—that one was crazy even for me. Some say Stanislaus Blink is responsible, that he killed Minerva and took the money and fame and ran. Others believe that Lucky and his friends are alive, out of the inkwell you might say, and they’re running the show—literally.
At this point, with the evidence on the tape… It’s hard to believe anything.
Whatever the case, I think it’s only fair and kind to end this video by remembering the lives of the Wink-and-Blink team. May they rest in peace.
Now, even though this is the end of the video, it’s not the end of this series. This is only part I. For part II, I got a very special presentation for all of you. So, don’t forget to like and subscribe because you do not want to miss the next video.
From my doomsday bunker beneath the earth, I’m your local conspiracy theorist, Whackjob McGee, signing off.
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Audio transcript of part II
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Oh shit! Oh shit! Jesus Christ!
Okay, hold on, lemme catch my breath…
I was going to do the usual edits for this video, but I can’t wait that long.
Part II, yeah, I know, but I don’t have the capabilities to put up all the pomp and circumstance. I’m outside in the middle of nowhere, on the highway of all places. I must’ve run like 10 miles just to get away, far away that I feel safe. Guys, I’m being serious right now.
This whole video was going to be me roaming around Lucky’s Entertainium in Colorado Springs. It’s a massive building! I could only imagine what it will look like when it’s all lit up. Right now, it’s just a dark husk of a building dolled up with Lucky and his friends. I went to it, snuck inside—luckily no security was around, so getting in was easy, and took out my phone and started recording.
Think of Lucky’s Entertainium as like Chuck E. Cheese’s with the budget of a billionaire. There are arcade games galore, in every nook and cranny, a cafeteria, a funhouse, a ball pit! Yeah, I thought those things were dead. But the centerpiece of the place is the stage, like a showman’s stage. I saw on the stage these lifelike statues of Lucky and the crew: Mama Bear, Wolfgang, Clover, and Zeke.
I thought it would be cool to take a selfie with them, so I climbed up and went over to Lucky. When I got closer, something just felt off about him. They weren’t statues; they weren’t made of stone or marble or whatever sculptures were used to make shit. They weren’t robots They looked…too lifelike. The fur was real, their eyes were glassy and reflective, but not in the way of a robots, and… I don’t know man!
But still, I went to Lucky and attempted to take that selfie. When I was just inches away from him, eye to eye, I saw Lucky wink. He fucking winked at me! I didn’t stick around. My adrenaline kicked in because I didn’t feel safe at that point, not after listening to the Minerva Wink tape. I ran, ran until my legs burned like I stuck them in fire.
This isn’t shock value; this isn’t a fucking creepypasta bullshit story! This is a warning! For the love of God, don’t go to Lucky’s Entertainium!
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The YouTuber known as Whackjob McGee—Alexander Hammer—has not been seen since the release of these videos. The Eye_High_In_The_Sky YouTube channel has been deleted, and any trace of these videos or the Minerva Wink Tape itself other than these transcripts has been lost. Lucky’s Entertainuim, presented by Wink-and-Blink Studios, is set to open next year.