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After the nightmare that was proving myself to Max’s stepmother, The mailing Company gave me a few days off. I did two days in the sorting room and then the next Sunday didn’t need to work. Over the week I planned for a meeting between Max and my father. Sunday, Sunny met us by the door and handed over a lasagna he made to bring with us.
“I’m sorry that you’re not going. My dad is pretty old-fashioned. I think he would like you, but it would be too much for him if both you and Max came over at once.” I explained to Sunny.
I wanted my father to meet all my friends, but one at a time would be best. Sunny completely understood. Even if he wore his human disguise and male clothing, I doubted my dad could handle a guy with long hair. At least not to start with.
“I’ll be taking an extra shift in the sorting room this afternoon. But if you decide to come back early, call me and I can come home.” Sunny said.
Since Max got along with everyone, I doubted we would cut our day short. Sunny gave us both a hug and sent us on our way. Max needed to also wear a human disguise made from magic. He looked the same aside from his dog features. We took a bus to my father’s place which took his mind off how he looked. He kept fiddling with his feet and scratching at the top of his head. Max normally didn’t wear shoes or socks, so the feeling bothered him a little. I asked him if the magic hurt but he assured me it just felt as if he was wearing a slightly tight hat over his dog ears. It did feel weird seeing him with normal human ears and hands. I already missed the beans.
We arrived a few minutes late because of the bus. I showed Max the way down the street and noticed a rented dumpster in the driveway of my old childhood home. I guess dad was trying to renovate again. He learned a lot of how to do it himself because of how often contractors gave up on the project. That explained why he asked for some money recently.
Max nervously twisted his fingers together as we waited at the door. I knocked a few times wondering if dad forgot we were coming over and wasn’t home for some reason. When he answered it, there were bags under his eyes and his hair messy showing he’d just been trying to sleep.
He looked a lot like me. I got my mother’s hair color and eyes, but the rest of my features were from my father. Max’s face lit up and he held out a hand to shake.
“You look just like Toby! It’s nice to meet you!” He said and I could almost see his hidden tail wagging.
My dad barely glanced over at him. With a yawn, he nodded at the container in my hand.
“Is that dinner?” He asked in a low tired voice.
“Yeah, Sunny made it for us. He’s my roommate.” I said.
Max awkwardly kept his hand out until I gently put it down for him. My father walked back into the house, and I followed behind, kicking off my shoes in the entranceway. Max followed me but once he was fully inside the doorway he froze. An expression came over his face I’d never seen before. I felt myself frowning at the reaction.
“Are you alright?” I asked him and took his hand in case he wasn’t feeling well.
“Yeah…” Max said in a very small voice. “Just nervous…” He admitted.
That wasn’t really like him. But I dropped the subject and carried on. My father had ripped apart pieces of the wall. Tarps had been taped over top making it hard to see the damage inside. A slight smell of mold came from the holes. I stopped to stare at one, feeling a burst of cold air settle in. I noticed Max was also staring. A feeling of dread flashed over me, and I knew he felt it too. It must be whatever mold started behind the walls making us feel uneasy. My father opened a beer in the kitchen and the sound snapped us out of staring at the walls.
I moved to the kitchen to get to work heating our meal. Max found a seat at the table and my dad sat on the other side sipping his drink. I got Max some juice and I hoped they would talk as I was busy at the stove. I wanted to make garlic bread to go with the lasagna.
“Where did you say you’re working again?” My father finally asked.
“I deliver mail.” I said quickly more focused on grating cheese.
“That’s a good normal job…” He muttered mostly to himself.
“Toby and I are partners.” Max added in with an uneasy smile.
“Co-workers. We work on the same route.” I corrected.
My father had a dark expression on his face for a moment. It lightened to confusion when I explained what Max meant. He never heard of a company that let two people work the same route mail-wise. I didn’t think I should drop the whole supernatural thing so soon and felt glad he didn’t ask for details. I didn’t have a clue on how to ease into that topic.
While I worked away at the stove, Max did make some attempts to start up a conversation. My father gave one-word answers. I could tell it stressed Max out. I’ve never seen him so fidgety before. I sensed eyes on my back. When I looked over, I saw they both were in their own world. My head turned towards the kitchen doorway expecting to see someone.
Of course, I expected to see her. All my good memories of the house have her in them. I hated the fact my mother’s face faded from my mind. It was just too hard to think about her after she left. I never followed up on where she went. Just that my father gave me bits of news every so often about how happy she was somewhere else.
I paused at the stove realizing an important fact I hadn’t thought about in a long time. How old was I when she left? A lot of those years were blacked out because of a depression I never tried to face head-on. I’d gotten a job where I needed to deal with monsters and nearly died every other day. And yet, I felt happier than I had been in a very long time. I came by to talk to my father because I wanted him to know that.
“Do you have any girlfriends?” He asked, making me shake my head.
“No. I’m more focused on work.” I lied.
“What about that girl you told me about? And the whole dating online thing? That’s a normal thing people do nowadays…” He half grumbled not accepting my answer.
Finding a girlfriend would be extra hard now that I knew sleeping together would be off the table. I didn’t even know how to approach a relationship like that let alone explain it to my father. We’d only been there a short while and I already was starting to chicken out on all the things I wanted to tell him. Should I let him know Max wasn’t human first? Or tell him about the whole Ace thing?
As I thought I noticed Max wasn’t looking the greatest. His face pale and his shoulders slouched. I’ve never seen him this bad before. I wondered if the stress of the meeting was really this hard on him. Without thinking, I went over to him and took his hand.
“Are you alright? We can leave if you’re feeling sick or something.” I offered.
He weakly shook his head. His small squeeze back didn’t make me feel better at all. I considered cutting the meeting short. Max shouldn’t need to force himself to go through all of this.
“I’ll just wash my face.” Max said as he stood up.
His knees gave out from under him, and I caught my friend before he hit the floor. Something was wrong. This wasn’t like him at all and went beyond just simple stress. I should have noticed all the warning signs sooner. I ignored a lot of things to go as wrong as they did that day. I sensed another glare at my back and looked up to see my father looking down at us. His expression gave me a slight chill, but I shook it off. He’d always had a bad expression on his face. But he was my father and I loved him.
“You two are acting pretty close.” He commented, eyes narrowed.
“Don’t be like that. Can you get a wet cloth or something?” I replied and focused my attention back on Max.
I mostly wanted him out of the room so I could ask Max if he wanted to leave without my father getting offended. I heard him walk out of the room. By that time Max could barely keep his head raised. This was serious. Worry started in my stomach, but I forced it down so Max wouldn’t get upset.
“Toby… I need to tell you something. But I don’t know how.” Max said in a very small voice.
Tears were in his eyes. I got confused about what could have upset him so much. He really started to act as if the world ended, and we just walked into my old house and said a few words to my father. I shook my head not understanding anything.
“Let’s go home for now. We can-”
Everything happened at once. Max moved to push me away at the same time a loud sound burst into the small space. The side of my face stung with heat, and I smelled something strong right where I had just been sitting. Max and I were on the floor by the table. He pushed me onto my side when the sound and smell came. When I sat up, I stared in shock at something I didn’t understand. Blood splattered the wall where Max’s head had been. He collapsed on his side, the dark red seeping from his ruined left eye and into the worn-out floor. I finally looked up at the one who caused the entire scene.
“Dad…?” My voice was a simple croak.
He stood, shotgun in hand and with an unreadable expression on his face. This man looked like my father, but I refused to believe the man who raised me just shot my best friend out of the blue.
My heart kicked up. My vision grew hazy, and my world tilted. Max would be fine. He wasn’t human. Even with magic hiding his ears, healing from a wound like that should be easy for someone like him. So why wasn’t he moving? Why was my friend still on the ground bleeding? And why did any of this happen in the first place?
The shotgun barrel moved closer to my head. On reflex, I grabbed at it. With some effort, I pulled it from my father, but he forced his entire body onto my chest before I could do anything with the gun. His hands came down around my throat, and tears came to my eyes right away. I uselessly kicked, scratched, and pleaded to get away.
“Why couldn’t you just be normal?! After everything I’ve done!” He shouted in a crazed tone I’d never heard before.
He let one hand go to rip the ace pin Vicky had given to me from my jacket. He tossed it hard against the wall. I made another wasted attempt to get him off, but his grip was too strong. As I struggled, I pushed up the sleeves of his shirt to see old burn scars along his arms.
Scars I always assumed to be from his factory job. He did some welding after all. But now I know better. As my life started to slip away, everything started to be clear. All the things I blocked out were fading back into my mind.
“Just be normal! It was only one thing!” He shouted again.
I never knew my grandparents. The ones on my mother’s side didn’t live in the country. My father’s parents didn’t approve of him marrying someone who didn’t look like them. I’d met them once when I was around five. My only memory of my grandfather was the smell of cigarette smoke, and him gripping my arm so hard it hurt. He commented that I ‘almost looked normal’. My father came over to take me away and I never saw them again. He never spoke about them either.
As my vision started to fade, I looked over at Max. I knew why he wasn’t moving. And what he wanted to tell me. He didn’t have any energy to heal his wounds because he started to give it away the moment we walked inside the door. The smell of the dinner I put in the oven washed over me. I reflected on the reason why I was so well suited for my job. What Elly said was true. I could love monsters. I’d loved on my entire life.
Just as I thought my eyes would close forever, an invisible force threw my father clear across the kitchen. He hit the cupboards hard enough to knock him out. I sat up, gasping and coughing. Even though my life had been saved, I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes to see the one who waited.
A set of cold arms wrapped around my body in an embrace I hadn’t felt in years. Her perfume was the same as before as the way she brushed my hair with one hand. But she was too God damn cold.
I finally opened my eyes to see the person I’d missed for a great deal of my life. My mother looked down, face pale but remorseful smile on her face. Tears already started in my eyes I couldn’t hold back. There were so many things I wanted to say to her. About how I was sorry I never learned Korean or kept a hold of her culture. How I’d let myself forget her face because thinking about it was too painful. And how I let myself believe she left us.
She didn’t speak. She didn’t need to. She just kept brushing my hair silently telling me she’d been here the entire time.
The thought crushed my chest to the point I couldn’t breathe.
She never left.
She never left.
She had been here the entire time. I held her tighter, body shaking and mind slipping. She wasn’t wearing a red dress the last time I saw her. It was white. He made it red. A scream started up in my throat. One so large it got stuck. I’d lived with a monster for so many years, forcing down what I saw until my mind convinced itself of an easier truth. Max had given up all his power for my mother to finally be able to let herself be seen.
My father stirred at the other end of the room. I didn’t feel any anger or hatred from my mother over what happened to her. She was happy being able to see me grow up. We stayed with each other without one of us knowing until I started my own life. But she got angry when he sat up. He wanted to kill me and nearly did so. She could forgive her death, but not the murder of her child.
I looked up at her face, my heart torn to pieces. I didn’t know what I wanted. I hated the idea of her taking revenge. My soft kind mother wasn’t that kind of person. But simply getting arrested wasn’t enough of a punishment for what my father did. I decided since he took her life, she should decide his fate.
I must have told her how much I loved and missed her a few hundred times in a few short minutes. As much as I wanted to stay, I needed to get Max treated. I found the pin that Vicky gave me and scooped it up. I then carefully lifted Max into my arms and gave her one last look. Her smile was a memory that would never leave my mind again.
The next few hours were a blur. I called for help but wasn’t certain who showed up. I sat outside my house with Max and then someone took him away. Manny came rushing in because a ghost had been sighted. He stopped at the front door to try and get some details. I was too far gone to speak. He just gave me a tight hug and sent me home.
Sunny heard what happened and held it together. He helped me get changed out of the blood-stained clothing and then got me to bed. I couldn’t remember how much time passed before Rufus came by with the news. It could have been a few hours or days. I just wasn’t there after everything that happened.
Max was alive, which took a weight off my shoulders. They weren’t entirely certain if his eye could be saved. And he was still sleeping to recover his magic. I expected Rufus to be angry, but he just gave me a crushing hug. He looked the closest to tears I’ve ever seen him. He hated seeing both of his sons in so much pain. When Kytiva came by my apartment while he was there, I expected her to eat me. She instead also gave me a crushing hug. The frightening monster of a woman was also a mother who cared about the boys she adopted. They stayed for a while until Sunny tactfully kicked them out knowing I couldn’t handle seeing anyone for too long.
Sunny did try to feed me. But nothing stayed in my stomach. Manny called offering to tell me what happened with my father, but I refused. Neither outcome appealed to me. I just couldn’t bear any of it so took the easy option of not knowing.
For days I stayed in my room still in shock. I slept too much, then not at all the next day. I barely ate, and when I did, I got sick in the middle of the night. Sunny found me on the bathroom floor, knees up to my chest and forehead pressed against them. He carefully sat beside me and offered his hand.
I raised my head to look at him. At that moment, something clicked, and I saw him the way I should have much sooner. Sunny was ridiculously smart and caring. Despite his start in life, he powered through without complaints. He supported everyone around him, and people loved him for it. I completely missed just how much I appreciated everything he’s done for me until we quietly sat in the bathroom holding hands.
I found myself leaning closer to him but pulled back at the last second. My face flushed with a terrible feeling twisting my stomach. It didn’t matter how I felt about him, I thought it wasn’t right for him.
“Sorry, I…” Sunny started and turned his head away but didn’t let go of my hand.
I shook my head, hating the position I put him in. I shouldn’t be acting like this no matter how much I wanted to be comforted.
“I should be the one apologizing, I… I’m taking advantage of you. I mean, I sort of bought you and-”
“Toby, do you like me?” Sunny asked, in a strong tone.
His orange spot inside his head moved around when he turned to look over at me. His stern voice and expression made me nod, unable to lie to him.
“Yes.” I admitted sheepishly.
I’d liked him for a while. But I wanted to ignore my feelings so as not to make him uncomfortable.
“Then show me.” He said firmly.
If Sunny wanted, he could have moved out. He had a job that he could support himself with. He knew I would never hold the fact that I paid for him over his head. We may have met in such a way. But he didn’t owe me anything. For some reason, he saw something in me I didn’t. My stomach fluttered and I leaned back over to show him how I felt for the first time. And then I showed him a few times…
Then the damn of emotions broke. Everything I’ve tried to hold back came flooding out. I held onto him and buried my face into his shoulder to finally cry. Sunny didn’t move away but was glad I could let me face the feelings I’d tried to hide away from.
Us being together felt right. We already knew what kind of relationship it would be and the expectations that came with it. And we were both fine with that. Somehow, a completely perfect person for me just came into my life. I just needed to accept it.
The breakdown in the bathroom oddly enough helped my mental state. I found myself cleaning the apartment and eating small snacks throughout the day. I wanted to do a shift in the sorting room but was forced to stay home. Sunny was extremely supportive the entire time. He’d never lost his parents due to never having any. But he knew how to deal with trauma. When I started to feel overwhelmed again, he stopped what he was doing so we could take a break holding hands and talk about what was going on at work while I stayed home on stress leave.
One day I slept in and didn’t hear someone come crashing through the front door. My bedroom door burst open and Belizas stood, hands on her hips and a wide awkward smile on her face. She didn’t know how to deal with people gently and waited to come by until I could handle her.
“I have arrived to perfectly solve all your problems!” She boldly stated.
“You’re just here to steal lunch.” I replied and pulled my blankets over my head.
I was just messing with her. She crashed down on my bed and grabbed my blankets to roll herself into them. I stared at a monster burrito that crashed my pity party looking very proud of herself.
“Human, I don’t understand your pain. I did not have any kind of creators. I was just an ember that burned in a fire pit that roasted so many living creatures alive. Their spilled blood and magic within the Earth mixed to create a new life. I’ve been wandering around and growing stronger ever since.”
I wondered about what kind of creature she was. I’d asked around and no one gave me an answer. When it came to creatures, they could have been born in countless different ways. Unless she told us, it would have been impossible to figure out what Belizas was.
“Instead of arriving to do a gross thing like comfort you, I decided I needed to tell you something I’ve waited far too long to do so.” She said still wrapped up to her chin in my blankets.
This wasn’t like her. I stayed silent a bit stressed out over what she might be about to say.
“I feel as if the trade we made for your arm was uneven. I owe you.”
“How so?” I asked curious.
She ate my arm in exchange for not killing Max. My arm was worth far less than his life, and I feel as if I still owed her for not killing my best friend back then.
“I started working to stay around to try and get a jump on you to eat the rest. I never would have done this job if it wasn’t for you. And… It’s strange. I was just looking for strength my entire life. Just enough to live the next day. Now… I’ve dated people. I’ve never done that before. I’ve gotten to be with cute girls and go on fun jobs. My strength can be put towards something. It feels as if I have some sort of purpose after just living for so long. So, I owe you.”
After she finished speaking, she gave such a genuine smile it hurt my chest. Her teeth showing and her eyes were closed in such a way it wasn’t flattering. But I thought she never looked more beautiful in her entire life. I reached out to take her into a tight hug. Her face started to go red, but her arms were trapped under the blankets.
“I love you too.” I told her glad I met someone I considered an annoying sister.
She struggled, her face getting redder when I refused to let go. A scream came from her that sounded a lot like a kettle boiling over. Sunny needed to come inside to rescue her. Belizas retreated to the kitchen to steal food on all fours hissing at receiving affection.
After everyone had come by to see how I was doing I felt too stir-crazy to stay at home any longer. I demanded an easy shift for work. Anything to get me out of the house and not overthinking things. Sunny came with me to the Zero room. I fully expected Max’s sister who was working to come up and slap me for what happened. Instead, she walked over and gave me a tight hug. I’d nearly got her brother killed, and yet she still treated me like family.
“Knock-Knock!” A voice came just before a knocking sound and the door opening.
My heart skipped a beat as I looked over to the door but only saw Rufus coming inside the room. He also gave me a tight hug, and then one to Sunny because he looked left out.
“How are you doing kiddo?” Rufus asked after he pulled away.
He held back a lot. Even though my uniform I felt a crushing pain from the hug. I nodded, unable to speak. I thought I was doing better but seeing him reminded me of how close Max came to dying.
“I’m sorry for everything. I’m so weak, I’ve caused nothing but trouble for all of you. Your leg and now Max-” I started with all those dark feelings from the past few days coming back like a storm.
“To be honest, I was just milking the leg thing for more attention from my wife. It healed ages ago.” He admitted.
“Gross.” Sally chimed in from her desk.
That got a small smile out of me. I looked back up at Rufus not understanding how he could so easily forgive me for everything that happened so far. I wondered if I should quit this job all together. My weakness risked my co-workers’ lives every time I went out into the field. And now I was hurting them off the job.
“Come on, I know it’s hard but cheer up a little. I hate to see both my boys in pain like this.” Rufus said in a very gentle voice.
He sounded more like a father than mine ever did. It took everything I had not to break down into tears again. I wasn’t even aware the door on the side of the room opened. By the time I looked up to see the person who came into the room, he already ran across to me and was in mid-air.
By some miracle, I caught Max from his jump and didn’t fall over from the sudden weight shift. His arms tightly wrapped around my neck choking off my air. I was beyond happy to see him but needed to pry him off before he killed me.
“Max…” I choked out.
I looked him over expecting to see a terrible scar on his face or something to show he nearly died. Aside from a small scar through his left eyebrow, he was the same. Even his eyes looked the same. No, his left one was a slightly lighter shade.
“I got a lizard eye!” He screeched in an overly excited tone.
After everything…. he nearly died and I blamed myself for it to the point of getting sick for weeks. And yet he acted as if it was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was so excited about his new eye, Max immediately showed off the new skill it held. He blinked and his new eye turned completely yellow with a small black dot in the middle. The black dot flew around the socket, while his normal eye stayed in one spot. It was impressive he now could look two ways at once. But he overdid it and got extremely dizzy. Within seconds he was puking into a waste bucket his sister shoved under his face as if she expected this reaction.
“Can you three deliver these packages to Joe?” Sally asked after her brother finished getting sick.
Max perked up, face bright at the job. He wasted no time scooping up boxes to get headed out to the farm. I wanted him to slow down. He hadn’t fully recovered yet and needed to take it easy. Sunny took some boxes to follow behind Max. I gave in and grabbed the last few for us to head to the farm.
The scenery was as beautiful as ever. We were only there for a few minutes before Belizas came by offended we didn’t invite her for the lunch date. At this point, it really was a date instead of a job we needed to do.
Sunny was helping Joe set out the table and I found a spot out of the way to sit down. A familiar sheep came over and sat on a small pillow next to me. Her creepy face watched the clouds drift slowly through the sky. I carefully gave her soft wool a few small pets. I still didn’t like these sheep. I expected Hubert to say something. We sat in silence with everyone around us doing their own thing.
I thought about what she said the last time we met. ‘Do not go looking for things that are lost.’
Did she somehow know about my mother back then? If my father hadn’t snapped when we went over, I was going to start looking for her. I wanted to know where she went instead of running from her memory. Did those words try to warn me about the pain looking into my past would bring?
I thought Hubert may have just wanted to take a walk and got mad at us trying to find her to bring her home. Those cryptic words were just a complaint.
Max and Belizas started a contest. They both took a sheep and slammed them as hard as possible onto the ground to see who could make them bounce back up higher. Sunny had stopped to talk with Joe about some sort of cooking-related questions. The sunlight reflected through his body casting patches of light on the ground around his feet. He noticed me staring from the shade of the small cabin and paused to smile and wave.
Hubert nodded her head slightly at the interaction. Another meaning to her words came to mind. After my mother died, I had been missing something. Without knowing it, I’ve been looking for an important part of my life.
A new pair came from behind the cabin, both going over to greet Joe and asking if they could stay for lunch. Rufus brought his wife over, and I assumed it was because they both wanted to have a nice day with their kids. Sally and a few other sisters quickly followed behind them.
For years I had been lacking this. I knew then the full meaning behind Hubert’s words to me. This job brought death. I would end up getting killed by a monster while trying to work. I accepted that. In their world, they ran based on an equal system. In exchange for future horrible death and facing fearsome monsters, I’d gained something far more valuable than anything in my life I could trade for.
‘Do not look for things that are lost, because you have already found them. ‘
The family I lacked had been here for a long time. When I saw Elly next, I needed to thank him for giving me this job after he correctly assumed I could love a group of odd monsters.
But right then, I just wanted a quick kiss from my boyfriend and to sit down to eat with everyone else I cared about.