It had been six weeks since I broke up with Mike. We’d been having issues for months, but I wasn’t able to get over the fact that he shut me out of his life throughout the entirety of our relationship. For reference, we’re both men and we were together for two years. He wasn’t out to his friends or family, so nobody in his life knew we were even together.
It was the reason why I was the last one to find out about his death, so I feel like I need to elaborate on that. Well, that, and I blocked him on all my social media accounts. But I didn’t block his number.
Saturday 2:51AM
Mike: Are you awake?
Me: Why are you texting me?
Mike: I miss you.
Me: Whatever game you think you’re playing, I’m not interested. If you’re drunk and need help, I can book an Uber for you. Otherwise, don’t text me again.
No response. I shrugged it off and tried to distract myself with some Netflix. He was probably just looking for a booty call. I ended up falling asleep two hours later.
The next day, I met up with my best friend for brunch. She was probably the only thing that kept me together through the breakup. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
We met at a little cafe in our neighborhood. The first thing she did was ask me why I didn’t get any sleep. I swear, nothing could get past this woman. “I was just binging TVD again,” I said.
“What’s wrong?” She sounded more concerned now.
“Jane, it’s nothing. I just had to finish up some work and I had a hard time falling asleep afterward,” I insisted.
She didn’t sound convinced. Our coffee arrived and I practically chugged the damn thing. Jane knew that I only ever watched TVD when something was troubling me. I could feel her gaze on me from behind my cup. “Lee, I know you, and I know when something’s bothering you,” she pushed further.
Jane wasn’t exactly Mike’s biggest fan and for good reason. But that was precisely why I had a hard time opening up to her about him. I knew that she would never judge me; I just didn’t know if she would understand why I responded to his text messages in the first place. The truth is, I still had feelings for him and it’s hard to admit that to anybody. I decided to show her the text messages. She remained quiet for a while before finally responding.
“You know, it’s okay if you still care about him. I get that, I do. Do you want some advice or do you just need someone to listen?” What she said shocked me. I have this bad habit of thinking the worst of people even if I know that they have good intentions. I guess trauma does that to you?
“Advice,” I decided. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in. I need to stop pushing people away.
“Like I said, it’s okay to care about him, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to let him back into your life again. Ultimately, it’s up to you. But given his track record, I would highly recommend against it,” she held my hand as she said this.
“Thanks, I know. I just feel like we didn’t have the closure we needed,” I said hesitantly. Honestly, I kept wishing he would show up at my doorstep and beg me to take him back at some point. But I moved to a new apartment two weeks ago and he doesn’t know my new address, so that would have been impossible now. I was never going to say that out loud, though.
“If that’s what you need to get over him, then go for it.”
We talked a bit more over brunch, eventually said our goodbyes, then I went home.
My dog, Kaya, greeted me at the door, wagging her tail happily. I was glad I had someone to go home to. I gave her a gentle pat on the head as I set my stuff down on the kitchen counter. The rest of the day was uneventful and I fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie. I woke up at around 3AM when my phone dinged.
Sunday 3:03AM
Mike: I know you said not to text you again, but I really need to talk to you.
Me: What could you possibly need to talk about at 3 in the morning??
Mike: I don’t mean right now but in person. I don’t like how we ended things.
My heart skipped a beat. I was just talking to Jane about that yesterday. It was kind of weird that he brought that up so soon after I had that conversation, but then again, I felt the exact same way. I just don’t know if I want to tell him that. My phone dinged again.
Mike: Can I see you?
Me: Fine. You can come over tomorrow. But I recently moved. It might be a bit of a drive for you.
Mike: That’s alright.
I texted him my new address and he said he’ll see me soon. I went back to sleep when our conversation ended. When I woke up, the sun had just started to rise. I was kind of expecting not to get much sleep anyway. I got ready for the day and had some breakfast.
I decided to take my dog to the park to clear my head. I still wasn’t sure if seeing Mike again was a good idea. What if we just ended up sleeping together or something? Or worse, got back together? My thoughts started to spiral. Something in the corner of my eye snapped me out of it. It was like I was being watched, but barely.
I was sitting on a bench while passively watching Kaya run around with the other dogs. It felt like someone was behind the tree past the bench beside me. I decided to take a peak, but no one was there. I chalked it up to not getting enough sleep for the past two nights in a row.
“Come on, Kaya. Time to go,” I called to her. She ran toward me happily and I gave her some treats and a hug before getting up to leave. Nothing really happened on the walk home, but I still couldn’t shake that feeling the whole time. Needless to say, I was relieved when I got to my apartment. That relief didn’t last.
Sunday 10:17AM
Richard: Hey, Lee. It’s Richard. I’m not sure if you remember me. We met at Mike’s party a few months ago.
It was a Facebook message from Mike’s brother.
Me: Hi, yes, I remember. What’s up?
Richard: This might be a bit overdue, but honestly, between the funeral and the grieving, it’s been kind of hard to get the news out to some of Mike’s newer friends. I just wanted to let you know he passed away last weekend.
I almost wanted to ask him if he was sure. Luckily, I stopped myself in time. That would have been insensitive. Of course he was sure.
Me: I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to let me know. Sorry if this comes across as insensitive, but can I ask who currently has his phone?
Richard: We never found it, actually. It probably got lost in the accident. Did you need something from it?
Me: No, he just had a few photos from an old trip with some friends, but it’s not important.
Richard: Well, I’ll let you know if it ever turns up.
Me: That won’t be necessary, but thank you.
What the actual fuck? I tried to rack my brain for some type of logical explanation. Maybe Richard was playing some sort of messed up prank, but I seriously doubt that. Maybe someone else found Mike’s phone and decided to pull a prank on me. Whatever it was, I felt sick. Then I remembered, whatever sicko had his phone had my address now too.
I packed mine and Kaya’s stuff and called Jane. I told her I needed a place to stay for a few days and she didn’t even ask me why, just said I can stay as long as I need to. She’s a lifesaver. Maybe even literally, given the situation. I wasted no time and bolted the hell out of there.
When I arrived, Jane asked me if everything was alright. I told her I might have a stalker situation and would need to move. She was extremely worried and said I needed to call the police. I was seriously considering it. But I don’t even know how I would go about explaining this situation. They might not even take me seriously.
After dinner, Jane set me up on the couch and then excused herself to the bedroom. Kaya was asleep on the floor next to the couch. I couldn’t fall asleep. I went through my photos of Mike and started crying. I couldn’t believe he was actually gone. I couldn’t believe someone was sick enough to pretend to be him.
I got an app notification from the doggy cams I set up around the apartment for Kaya. It said it detected movement. My stomach started doing somersaults and I could barely stop myself from puking. But I needed to check it out. I opened the app.
My heart was racing when I saw what was on the screen. There, in my living room, was a man I had never seen before in my life. He was extremely thin, like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. His hair was dark and long, not like Mike’s short blonde hair. But more than that, he didn’t look… right. Ding.
Mike: Where are you?