be me
really into magic
read all the books, watched all the movies
find it especially cool how the most powerful mages can take out entire human armies
also read that humans and magic are an unholy mix and that it should never happen
what’s the worst that could happen.jpg
start learning spells
start out with low level spells; heat up, levitate, cool down
make my way up to big spells; teleport, freeze, telekinesis
doing this all in an abandoned rail yard because it’s very taboo and shunned upon to practice magic
legit the most fun hobby I’ve had ever go almost every day
begin neglecting school and social life don’t need that because I’ll have magic carry me in life
start feeling watched in the rail yard
whatever, probably some dumbass who admires magic
feeling grows every day, start skipping practice because I’m creeped out
use find spell to find whatever is looking at me; find nothing
find another practice place; a shut down parking garage
feeling goes away for a week, then comes back much stronger
feeling begins peeking into everyday life
stop going out with friends, start faking sick to miss school
eventually, feeling gets so bad I can’t leave the house
using find spell hourly to find my stalker start being unable to leave my room, not even to eat
eventually I’m bedbound, can leave for anything, not even the washroom
parents are concerned, the “I’m sick lie” is falling apart
laying in my own piss and shit I’m so terrified of leaving my bed
haven’t slept in a week; the sleep deprivation hallucinations and the paranoia make for a deadly cocktail
parents are fighting everyday over me gonna be sedated to be taken to a psych ward tomorrow
once I’m there, the feeling continues to grow
effectively paralysed, won’t even blink
being hand fed every day
doctors give me a dozens of pills daily
they are ineffective, but I can’t tell them that because I physically can’t speach
one day, something that isn’t a hallucination starts appearing
at first a shadow in my pheripherals, then something actually coherent
a monster in the corner of my room
I scream at the nurses and the doctors about it, they see nothing
the amount of pills doubles every day
life is hell
it tells me to sleep, tells me everything will be better once I do
can’t physically sleep or close my eyes, I’m that scared
get the feeling of doing magic when I look at it
This is my comeuppance for not heeding the warnings of the books. I can feel myself starting to pass out. Even thought the room is filled with lights and the blinds are closed, I’m not making the night. There are Legit minutes where I go blind from the lack of sleep.
I die tonight. It will not be gentle nor will it be quick. I will suffer endlessly. I just hope that no one does the same as me.