In the summer, I went to a lake house with my boyfriend and a couple friends. I’ll never forget the hot sun gracing my skin. The beautiful landscape of the crystal clear blue lake, surrounded by Oregon’s fine pine trees. Heaven. Nightfall we gathered in the living room to watch “The Ritual” on Netflix with Buzzball mixed slushies and pizza. It was warm, cheesy and the crust was crunchy. Everybody felt good, laughing. A cozy night in wearing thin socks with shorts and tank tops meanwhile, the guys in sweatpants and hoodies. Going 4 years strong with my now fiance. He makes me feel protected when he looks at me no matter how far or close. The love we have and the love we make are 2 different worlds. I fell in love and created the best memories on that day.
I woke up with the sky. Watching from my window the increasing shades of blue. I was eerie. My dream was a gruesome depiction of my death. From the point-of-view of whoever was torturing me I saw myself kicking and screaming trying to escape. My feet were cold but sweating. I didn’t notice I was lying by myself until I heard the door creak open behind me. It was my friend Silvia inviting me downstairs for breakfast. My fiance bought some fruit from a nearby farmers market. He brought the sweetest, juiciest strawberries and I used to think all strawberries were sour. That’s when it started. I got a slight deja vu from a plate of pancakes placed in front of me. Nobody noticed. I was spacing out, not blinking for a solid 2 minutes. The rest of the trip I tried to blend in and pretend like I was fine.
Since that dream my experiences have gotten worse. I was losing my mind. I did a little research on how to prevent deja vu and changed my routine. I started going to the gym regularly, changed my eating habits, stopped drinking, slept 8 hours, and meditated for clarity. For a moment I thought I had finally rolled the boulder to the top of the hill. Beginning of October. Rain had come more frequently but a thunderstorm caught me by surprise. Suddenly a lightning bolt struck the roof of my building. Frightened, I curled up on the couch as my chest felt like it was being pinched by giant fingers, my throat swelled up, and my legs fell asleep. At the moment all I could think about was this is my fault, this is a consequence for blocking my deja vu. All this time they were signals.
Monday, 9th. I finished my routine in high spirits, continuing to go grocery shopping. In the car I heard a voice in my head like a whisper from a man I hadn’t seen since I was 5 but thought nothing of it. Loading up the trunk I heard the voice again behind me in the store parking lot asking me about my shopping cart. I turned my head recognizing my moms distant step-brother. It was out of place to greet him as family since he didn’t recognize me. He’s tall, has a charming smile, fresh haircut, hunky yet smooth voice, flirtatious personality, and funny. I had no doubt he was a great guy. I moved all my stuff and we parted ways. As I got in my car before I could put my keys in the ignition my right ear started ringing in pain like a dog whistle. It didn’t occur to me it was a warning.
Friday, 13th. Late afternoon, I called my moms step brother asking if he saw my wallet in the shopping cart hoping he picked it up. He said there was none so I returned to Winco with my fiance to report a missing wallet. On our way back home the radio reported breaking news that a serial killer was found and arrested for murder and kidnapping, driving a stolen vehicle stashed with drugs and weapons. I checked my phone. His disturbing videos were circulating all over social media of his heinous acts when I got the ultimate gut wrenching deja vu. A 20 year old girl being attacked in the same exact pattern I saw in my dream. My neighbors recorded The man being handcuffed on the lawn of my building and on the grass left behind was my wallet. The 55 year old man was my moms step brother. They found his victims near and in the lake we visited this summer.