I would never be able to sleep on the last Friday of every month. Anticipation-induced knots twisted in my stomach, only to be amplified as my sister and I started mapping out our journey through the WonderBarn Play place. Between episodes of TV and any games we could get our hands on, we would grab a piece of paper and draw our path.
“Okay Howard, we start here” My sister pointed at the crudely drawn rectangle which was supposed to represent the animatronics show. Our trip would always begin there. 9 AM sharp so we could sing along with the wireframe barn animals as they danced back and forth along the rails on the stage.
“After that”, Her pencil traced upwards on the page to a bunch of smaller rectangles, “We move to the games. The more time we have to collect tickets, the better our chances are of getting the plane”
My 7-year-old eyes widened. Kids would spend their entire weekend trying to get the 750 tickets required to buy a flimsy foam plane and the plastic slingshot used to launch it. We were no different.
“Finally, and if we have time,” My eyes widened in excitement “We’ll end the day in the playground!”
“Oh man I love the playground” I yelled excitedly.
The Playground was the highlight of the whole trip. After taking a break to eat pizza, we would sprint our little legs into the brightly colored jungle gym. It was sprawling and had many crisscrossing, tubular slides, a climbing wall, and most-importantly, a massive ball pit. Hundreds of thousands of small plastic balls. Bright reds, blues, greens, and yellows flying every which way in the soft foam chamber. Little mesh nets extending from all sides to make sure no balls got out.
….
“Hey Howard, you good?” Phil leaned forward and tapped me on the shoulder, jolting me out of my stupor. I noticed a stinging sensation on my hand. The liquor had fallen into my raw cuticles.
“Your hands are shaking again. Here, let me top your glass off” Phil grabbed the bottle of Jameson and refilled the missing liquid. I nodded in thanks and gulped the entire glass down.
I pulled out an orange bottle and dropped a rectangular pill into my mouth.
“Want one?” I offered, handing the bottle to Phil. He raised his palm. “No thanks, man. I’ll stick to the booze”
I tilted my eyes to face Phil. This was the first time I really looked at him since he entered my house. Three deep wrinkles lined his forehead. The bags around his eyes had deepened tremendously since that day. His head was almost entirely bald, except for a few thin, brown strands. His pristine white tee shirt could barely hold his bulging gut.
“You look like shit” I stated, plainly.
He chuckled, “It’s good to see you too Howard. How is the family?”
“You mean how is Alina?” I corrected. “She’s fine, still nice enough to let me stay here” I motioned at the small basement room.
“Still rent free?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Fuck off. I mow the lawn. I cook sometimes. I earn my keep, okay?”
I realized I had probably come off too angry and softened my tone.
“I plan on helping out financially soon. I’m just… not there yet.”
He paused for a moment, seeming to search for the best words.
“How, when do you think you’ll be there? It’s been so many years, man.”
“I’m trying to figure some stuff out. I’ve cut down on drinking…today is different since you’re here.”
He raised his eyebrows. “And the pills?”
My grip tightened reflexively on the prescription bottle.
“No…. I… I’m not going to stop those. Not yet.”
Reluctant to continue the line of questioning, I asked my own.
“How’ve you been, Phil? What have you been up to since we last spoke?”
“I’ve been doing okay.” He began to pull out a pack of cigarettes and stopped himself “Hey is it cool if I smoke in here?”
“Um… not really” Here just use this. I handed him a small, lime-green e-cigarette. The vapor crackled in the device as he took a long draw.
“I’ve been studying a lot actually. Trying to learn as much as I can”
I surveyed his face for a few seconds, looking for a hint as to what he was going on about. He had a determined expression on his face. My heart fluttered and a knot built up in my stomach.
“….Studying what?” I finally asked. A deep chill ran along my spine and radiated outwards.
He continued, confirming my worst fear.
“Unsolved mysteries and urban legends, anthropology, local history, even some physics and astronomy. Literally anything that could give us just a little bit more information- ”
“Shut up. SHUT UP” I cut him off. Skipping the glass entirely, I grabbed the Jameson with a trembling hand and took a deep swig.
“Is this what you came here for?”
“Howard just let me expla-”
“Answer the goddamn question” I cut him off sharply.
“Well…yes” he admitted, averting my gaze as he spoke.
“Listen Phil, I told you already. I don’t fucking care. I never want to think about…that….that night ever again”
I began to choke up, the substances failed to numb a torrent of memories that came rushing into my brain.
…
“How, you there, buddy?” Phil hit my shoulder playfully, causing me to jump on the top row of the metal bleachers. Several people turned to see what the cause of the sound was.
“Stop daydreaming, Amy’s about to start”
“Shit, my bad” I chuckled.
I looked down to see 6 runners lined in a staggered line on the red clay track.
Amy stood at the inner circle of the track, she looked as gorgeous as always; especially in her track uniform.
“You think she’s finally gonna let you smash?” Phil whispered in my ear with a playful grin.
“Shut up dumbass” I laughed and elbowed him in the ribs.
We were interrupted by the starter gun firing and the girls took off.
Amy had a fierce expression on her face as she overtook the second fastest girl, half a second before crossing the finish line.
The crowd erupted in cheers as we all went over to congratulate her.
The four of us- Phil, Amy, myself, and another friend, Alex, pulled into a nearby Dairy Queen to celebrate Amy’s win as well as the end of our final semester of high school.
I will always remember that as the best day of my life. The weather was perfect. None of us had a single care in the world. It was that perfect blend of the careless freedom of youth and an optimistic zeal. Our whole lives were ahead of us, and we were extremely excited for our future after the summer.
“Are you guys ready to check out this new building I found?” Phil said in a quiet tone as he looked around at the busy seats. No eavesdroppers were to be seen. He opened his backpack and took out a thick, folded booklet of maps.
Urban exploration was a hobby the three of us had recently taken up. Growing up in suburbia, there wasn’t a whole lot to do. We loved the sense of danger and adventure that came with it. This time, the building in question was a large factory.
“What was the factory for?” Alex wondered out loud.
“Not sure man, maybe widgets or some shit. Anyways, here is what I know. It should be about two stories… and based on some forums I checked out….”
We looked at Phil in anticipation.
“There may be a hidden basement room. I dunno. It sounds like bullshit, but someone said they found it in the floor plan”
“And how do you propose we get in this building?” Amy interjected.
“I have a couple ideas,” Phil continued. “I drive back past the building on the way back from work. I walked around it quick last week and I saw a couple potential entry points.”
“Any of them involve breaking something?” I added, hoping not to add any crimes to the illegal trespassing.
“Umm… well just one. But hopefully we won’t have to do it” Phil chuckled.
He detailed several potential entry points. A door with a dated lock on it. A trash chute that could be entered through. A few windows that seemed to have big enough gaps to slip through.
“I guess we’ll just have to show up and pick the best option we find,” Alex concluded.
We had to plan our excursion around several events. This Saturday night wouldn’t work since Amy had church the following morning. Other days conflicted with when Phil could take his dad’s car, Track practice, work schedules, etc.
We finally decided to go on a Thursday. The first Thursday after school ended.
The four of us were giddy with excitement as we cruised down the highway towards the old factory.
Each of us were donned in black and we all kept running shoes in case we needed to make a break for it.
Our bags were loaded with gear: a first aid kit, flashlights, candy, and a few tools. We cut the car’s lights and parked it in a nearby lot, one or two blocks away.
We walked around the building in the still summer air, searching for a way in. It was Amy who noticed the cracks in the windows were just big enough for her to sneak through but would not grant the same luxury to the rest of us. Not wanting to risk getting sliced by glass, we kept moving.
“Hey what about this?” I whispered as I walked to the front door and gave the knob a jiggle.
It didn’t budge.
As we neared the garbage disposal chute, we noticed a small gap, separating the chute from the ground. It was around 18 inches wide, just enough for us to slide into.
“It looks like it’s just a piece of wood covering the space in that whole” Amy suggested.
I shimmied on the ground until I was face to face with the piece of plywood. Giving it a small push, I noticed some give.
“Guys check this out” I pushed harder until whatever was blocking the wood slid out of the way, allowing me to push the whole piece off.
I crawled up and jumped down into the building. I shivered in the pitch darkness and clicked on my flashlight.
“Guys, hurry up. It’s creepy in here” I whispered.
The three of them eventually climbed in through the chute and their lights joined mine as well, illuminating the factory.
We quietly explored the building, taking care not to make any unwanted sounds on the scattered glass that covered the floor.
It was a large building, maybe the size of a small shopping mall. Graffiti covered almost every exposed surface.
“How did they even paint this?” I asked as I shined my light directly up to reveal a large mural of what looked to be a sea monster attacking several boats that surrounded it.
Amy laughed, “Graffiti artists are some crafty bastards.”
After scouring the building for around 30 minutes, We finally ended up in one of the bathrooms. Phil was the first one to notice that one of the large square tiles in the bathroom made a much lighter *clack* sound when we stepped over it.
“You guys think this is the hidden basement” He whispered excitedly.
Though slightly reluctant to break the building any more, I figured no one would care at this point.
“There’s only one way to find out,” I shrugged.
Phil and I used a crowbar and small screwdriver to make several large cracks in the ceramic tile while Amy and Alex stayed outside, making sure to watch for any signs of police or other trespassers.
Every thud echoed in the large building, causing us to cringe with each strike.
We finally broke off a big enough piece to reveal it.
Phil gasped “Holy shit, it’s a trap door. Amy, Alex. get over here.”
We all stared down into the square hole and the ladder that stretched into it.
The first thing I noticed as I descended the ladder was the smell. A strange mix of sulfur, some type of metal, and a touch of sweetness flooded my nostrils.
“Anyone else smell this shit?” I asked as I covered my face with my hand. It wasn’t a bad smell. In fact, it was almost pleasant. It reminded me of the smell that came from my garage when dad was working on a welding project. However, the strength of it was overpowering and was beginning to give me a headache.
The three of them coughed and nodded in agreement.
A feeling of gnawing discomfort slowly began to grip me.
“This area is giving me bad vibes” Alex whispered. “Let’s just check it out quick and get out of here.”
We walked down the much smaller space in the basement. Shining our flashlights around to see there wasn’t a spot of graffiti. It looked like no one else had a chance to check the place out. The basement section was a lot smaller than upstairs, maybe half or a quarter of the size of the main room in the factory. We had no idea what the purpose of the plain concrete room was for. Our beams of light washed over the empty room to reveal…not much of anything.
After about two minutes of walking, my flashlight hit something.
“Guys, what the fuck is that?” Phil asked slowly as his eyes focused on what was in front of us. What we saw was… a ball pit. Not just any ball pit. The exact one from my childhood.
“This… is… from the WonderBarn right?” I stuttered, the sinking feeling hitting my stomach twice as hard as before.
My friends gasped in astonishment as we stared at the brightly colored plastic balls, foam enclosure, and the net holding everything in.
“Yeah. It definitely is. It has the same shape, same color. Jesus, what is this doing here?” Alex asked as everyone but the two of us took a few more steps towards the pit.
“This is giving me a really bad feeling, I think we shou-” I started before Amy cut me off.
“Cmon How, let’s just check it out real quick.”
Phil nodded and started to follow Amy, leaving Alex and I nervously tailing the group.
“I swear to god. This has to be identical to the one from the WonderBarn,” I repeated, unease building in my stomach. “That’s too creepy, I don’t think I want to know why it’s here.”
The uncanny state of the ball pit continued to weigh on me. It was as if someone ripped my exact memory of the ball pit from my childhood and placed it here. The same net, same colored balls, even the same foam padding.
“Dude, it’s fine, I’m sure there’s a hundred ball pits just like that one. ” Phil muttered in my direction in a futile attempt to quell my anxiety. “Let’s just take a quick look and we’ll be on our way.”
The strange smell only grew stronger as we made our way towards the pit. I scanned the rest of the room for any signs of a play area or other clues as to where this thing may have come from. I couldn’t find any. The sheer absurdity of the sight sent shivers down my spine. The dingy basement in the abandoned factory. The pristine ball pit just sitting there in the dark. It was as if it was calling towards us. Daring us to find a rational explanation for its existence.
We finally reached the pit. I could see a velcro patch that connected a small gap in the net. It was designed for a small child. Again, exactly the same size and shape as my memory of the ball pit from my childhood.
Before I could stop her, Amy had climbed up the top of the Pit and had begun to undo the velcro.
“Amy, stop.” I yelled in a panic. My hands were beginning to shake as a primal anxiety welled up inside me.
Alex agreed as well, “Yeah, he does have a point, Amy. Anything could be in there. Like razors or rusty nails or something.”
Even Phil began to grow uneasy. “Amy chill. We can use a stick or something to poke around in it first.”
Amy shrugged and chuckled. “Guys, It’s fine, I’ll just dip my feet in for a second.”
With that, she opened the mesh net and kicked her legs into the pool of brightly colored plastic balls.
Immediately, She began convulsing. Her whole body started to shake violently and her eyes rapidly shifted involuntarily. Her whole body fell into the ball pit, sending several plastic balls flying upwards.
The three of us flew into action.
“What the fuck” I screamed as I reached the net and tore it open. Alex and Phil were right behind me.
We managed to pull Amy out of the ball pit by her arms and laid her down on the cold concrete. Her eyes had begun to roll back in her head and red foam started to pool in her mouth.
We had no idea what was going on and were in hysterics for several seconds. Just as fast as the seizure started, Amy stopped convulsing and began to lift her torso up while wiping the foam from her mouth.
“AMY, what the fuck happened? Are you okay?” I stammered while holding her.
Her eyes looked right through me. They were glassy and showed no sign of recognition.
She began to speak in a quiet monotone “local… group”
I gave her a small shake, “Amy, are you okay? Snap out of it.”
She retreated at my touch and scooted a few feet away from me.
“Amy, what the hell happened to you?” Alex and Phil asked frantically. Almost in unison.
She ignored us all. “Vir…virgo” She said between deep breaths. As if she was trying to calm herself down.
“What the hell does that mean?” I stammered.
She ignored me again and whispered something in a voice so quiet, I could hardly manage to hear it.
“Laniakea”
She then bolted upright.
“Amy!” We called to her. It was too late.
She screamed into the air “THERE IS NO BEGINNING. THERE IS NO END” as she turned and started sprinting away.
“AMY” we screamed again. Following her with our flashlights and trying to catch up with her.
It was too late, she reached full speed, lowering her head….
We screamed again as we heard the ear-splitting crunch of her head connecting with the thick concrete wall.
We all ran as fast as we could to catch up with her. She laid there. Still except for an occasional convulsion. Her head was tilted in a horribly unnatural angle as a deep red pool of blood started forming underneath her.
Any semblance of an adventure disappeared. The three of us bolted out of the building in a panic, moving as fast as we could while holding Amy’s limp body. We stumbled out of the front door which was unlocked from the inside and I dialed ‘911’ as fast as I could.
The officer kindly noted my entire statement. The urban exploration. The hidden basement and the ball pit. His eyes seemed kind, almost as if he believed my ridiculous story. When he finished writing his notes, he lifted his eyes to meet mine with a solemn expression.
“Son,” He started slowly, “From now on, I want you to be careful where you explore.”
He looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought for several seconds, before returning to me.
“Some stones are better left unturned.”
…
Phil remained silent for a long time, as if searching for what to say next.
His next words shook me to my core.
“Don’t you want some sense of closure?”
I stammered, searching my spinning brain for a reply. None came to my mind.
Sensing my weakness, he spoke again.
“There are other places like the ball pit” He started in a soft voice, “If we can find them all, maybe we could do something. Maybe we could help people. Whatever Amy saw in the ball pit…we could make sure no one has to face something like that ever again. We could make something good come out of this.”
“We need to go back there”
My heart sank.
“I’ve done some research on similar phenomena. I think I know where the ball pit came from. We can learn more about it. We could learn….what happened to Amy.”
I repeated the same thought that had circled my head every single day since that night. The same thought that the officer repeated so many years ago.
“What if what we’re looking for…isn’t…worth finding?”
“Don’t you want to find that out for yourself?”
“FUCK”
I kicked my small desk table over, scattering an assortment of ash trays and boxes of old food all over the floor. He was right. I needed to find some closure. What if I could learn what happened to Amy? Maybe I could finally lay my trauma to rest and move past the events in that abandoned building. But I was so scared. The pain of that night ached in my bones…how could I bring myself to confront that nightmare again?
“How do you want me to help?” I muttered in a defeated tone as I sat back down.
“I can come back tomorrow after you’ve sobered up. Here Howard,” He handed me a piece of paper with his phone number.
“Give me a call when you’re ready. And… thanks. I can’t do this without you man”
He gave me a small pat on the shoulder and then stood up to make his exit from the basement.
I sat in that seat for hours after that. Weighing my options. I could continue my days in misery, drowning out every emotion with drugs and alcohol…or I could join Phil. I could try to find the truth. A truth so horrific that Amy couldn’t stand to bear it for another second.
I woke up the next afternoon, an ear-splitting migraine reminding me of the previous night. I immediately fell into a panic, no substances to level out the fear and sadness that flooded back into me as I remembered my conversation with Phil.
I prayed our entire conversation was just some hallucination conjured out of my drug-addled mind. All those hopes vanished as my bleary eyes scanned over the folded square piece of paper that Phil had left.
Amy’s last words began ringing in my head as I picked up the paper.
There is no beginning. There is no end.
I picked up my phone and dialed Phil.
He seemed relieved as he heard my voice on the other end.
After a short conversation, I came to learn a little more about his research into the ball pit and similar phenomena.
“I have my own ball pit” My eyes widened in shock at Phil’s words.
He continued “I think everyone does. It’s hard to know exactly what this thing is. Whatever it is, it’s otherworldly. My current hypothesis is that these things…are portals to other dimensions.”
I laughed at his words, that concept seemed unbelievable.
“Phil, you can’t expect me to believe that right?” I chuckled.
“…right?”
“How do you think a ball pit from your childhood memory appeared in the middle of a fucking abandoned building?”
I had no answer for that. So I let him continue.
“My working theory is that whenever one of these ‘portals’ appears, it causes a micro rift in space time. Maybe it somehow pulled your childhood memory out of your head.”
I held the phone in silence for a long time. Phil continued, “I had a very similar thing happen to me. For me it was my study hall classroom from middle school.”
“Where was that?” I asked.
“It was deep in a forest many years ago. They seem to pop up in secluded areas. Random places forgotten by society.”
“So why are you coming to me with all of this? Why didn’t you reach out to Alex?”
“I haven’t been able to find him anywhere” He admitted. “It’s like he fell off the face of the earth.”
“As for you,” he continued, I just couldn’t go back there by myself.
“Are you asking me to go back to that fucking place” I yelled, distant memories returning to the surface.
I heard him let out a deep sigh through the phone.
“Could you do it for Amy?”
We met up around dusk the following day. The sense of loss was palpable. I could feel Amy’s presence was missing.
I forced myself to stay calm and focus on the goal- Return to the ball pit and find any leads on what may have caused Amy’s breakdown.
I jumped in Phil’s car and we began the drive. The same drive from all those years ago. The car was silent, allowing us to both stew in our own despair.
Phil tried to lighten the mood several times with his trademark humor but his jokes just felt lifeless. I knew he sensed my mood and acquiesced to driving the rest of the way in silence.
It was nighttime by the time we ended up at the building. It would be hard to describe it as a building though. Broken windows and graffiti were replaced by steel and concrete rubble.
Phil saw my face as I looked at the demolished pile in front of me.
“Yeah, this place was condemned by the city a long time ago. I think we should still be able to find some clues. Maybe the entrance to the basement is still accessible”
I nodded, wordlessly mourning the loss of innocence this place represented.
We trudged through the various piles of rock, careful to avoid any exposed shards hidden in the rubble.
The faint smell we had previously experienced only grew stronger as we got closer to what used to be the building’s bathroom.
The sulfuric, metallic odor instantly transported me back to our first encounter with the ball pit. I whispered at Phil to stop and doubled over.
I took several deep breaths and forced myself to calm down. A few minutes later, we made it to the area where the trapdoor had been.
Based on the way the building had collapsed, not much rubble covered the door. After heaving several heavy wooden beams and a few bricks, and other scattered pieces of rubble, we finally were able to grab the handle and force the door open.
I knew something was wrong the second I made it down into the basement.
The concrete room seemed almost the same as it previously had. The only difference- it wasn’t dark this time. The walls were lined with several lanterns that glowed a deep orange all the way down.
Phil looked just as shocked as me when he climbed down the ladder.
“Phil, let’s get moving,” I said quickly. The odor of the room was just as strong as ever, filling my body with a panicked gusto.
I began to turn to move back up the ladder, closely behind Phil who had already started climbing back up.
Before I could… I saw several silhouettes, illuminated by the glow.
One of them let out an unearthly shriek and began sprinting at me.
“PHIL, HURRY UP” I screamed as I moved as fast as I could towards the ladder. I heard the soft thudding of footsteps rapidly increasing in volume behind me.
I began to climb the ladder, two or three rungs at a time. Phil was ahead of me and almost out of the hole. I picked up my pacing and started climbing even faster. Whatever was down there was almost close enough to touch me.
“HOW, GRAB MY HAND” Phil had turned around and reached his hand down for me. Just as my hand closed on his wrist, I felt an icy hand wrap around my ankle.
I looked down and tried to kick at my assailant, but his grip wouldn’t loosen. I got a brief glimpse of his face…
It was Alex.
He had aged noticeably more than Phil and I. His skin was pale white and hair was nearly silver. In addition to his accelerated aging, I noticed something else. A new look in his piercing blue eyes. They looked right through me with a demented intensity. Two more people from the basement shuffled up the ladder and before Phil or I could gain any leverage, several other hands grabbed at my ankles, sending me tumbling back down into the hole.
“Alex, what the fuck are you doing here?” I screamed as I was carried deeper into the basement. I looked at the four people holding me. Two men and two women, all dressed in white pants and a white shirt.
He didn’t respond to me. I tried to kick and scream. Anything to resist my capture, but it was useless, I was outnumbered and my attempts to escape were useless.
My cries to Phil were met with deaf ears as well. Another man, tall and also clad in white, walked past us, presumably to close the trap door or capture Phil as well.
My fear grew as we neared the ball pit, two other people opened the mesh net, awaiting my arrival.
The acrid stench of the room was nauseating. Fear flooded every inch of my body as I remembered Amy’s brief dip into the pit.
Before long I was face to face with the multicolored plastic balls, ripped directly out of a childhood memory and relocated into our world.
“BEHOLD” Alex shouted, before his four followers threw me deep into the pit.
I felt a sense of weightlessness as my body displaced hundreds of shiny plastic balls.
I can’t explain what happened after that.
My comprehension of the events and the words I could use to describe couldn’t even begin to do it justice. The overwhelming sensation of awareness was unbearable. More information than my brain was able to process poured into my head at lightspeed. I learned about the planet we call earth. Its solar system. Surrounding galaxies, supergiant stars, black holes the size of a million suns. An unfathomable scope. An abyss that stretches deeper than consciousness. An abyss that humanity lazily floats on the surface of. Blissfully unaware of what is beneath. Ready to swallow everything we have ever known in one gulp.
I prayed for ignorance to fill me again as I looked out into the alien horizon shining in a color that doesn’t exist. There was no end to it. It just stretched and stretched and stretched. I wanted to gouge out my eyes just to stop…. Seeing. The most horrifying thing of all…this was just a minute glimpse of this boundless void.
The next thing I remember was slowly waking up. In my depleted state, I couldn’t do much except look at my surroundings with apathy. Small, colored plastic balls were scattered across the basement floor. Thousands of them, enough to fill up the entire room with their rainbow. I saw a few of my kidnappers, their heads barely visible over the surface of plastic balls. I stepped forward, scattering hundreds of plastic balls with each step.
I noticed… their eyes were missing. There was no blood. No sign of any injury. Just two hollow craters.
The sight seemed to shake me out of my daze. I wasted no time, breaking into a sprint as fast as I could out of the basement, tearing through the ocean of plastic with my eyes tunneled exactly in front of me. I never even looked back to see what had happened to the ball pit or whoever those acolytes were, or even what happened to Alex. Nothing mattered except escape.
…
I have no doubt in my mind that Alex will never come looking for me. Even if he survived whatever it was that happened in the basement, he would have no motive to pursue me. I saw what it was they wanted me to see. As for Phil, I haven’t heard from him since that night. I assumed he ran as far as he could and never looked back… but I don’t blame him at all. I know I would have done the same if we had switched places.
I don’t need to see Phil ever again to know we now have an unspoken understanding. The second we opened the trapdoor in that cursed building for a second time…
I was right.
Our world is a massive place, filled with unexplored frontiers. Realms that stretch further and deeper than we can ever imagine. If you ever chance upon something…impossible, please heed my advice.
There is nothing to be gained from more knowledge and everything to lose. Do not go down the rabbit hole. It has no end.
Be careful what it is that you choose to worship. Higher powers exist. I have no doubt about that anymore. The entity that you may view as a god, however, sees you as nothing. A small fly to swat after it gets too close.
If you choose to run, I don’t blame you one bit. That’s what Amy did. Sometimes I wish I chose the same path myself.
That leaves one option. When the unfathomable begins to creep towards you…lock your doors, shutter the windows, crawl under your bed sheets…and hide for the rest of your miserable existence. That’s what I plan to do…and I only know of one way to do it.