I was trying to renew my drivers license. That was one of the things I remembered bothering me initially, since it was a government website. Of course it was state rather than federal but I don’t see how that makes a difference. I had to renew it not because it expired, not because I’d had it revoked or withdrawn or anything reasonable. It was because of the stupid Real ID bullshit the government was trying to pull on us all to keep me from flying on vacation without taking a brand new but equally terrible photo of myself against the DMV backdrop. Luckily I discovered that for this ordeal that was a section of the experience I could avoid. I got to keep the ancient image of my unshaven mug that had been bearded for almost three years now. But of course, it wouldn’t be your typical long boring online form without a ReCAPTCHA or two.
Whenever they pop up it’s nothing but a chore. I used to loathe the ones where you’d have to type in all those numbers and letters that you’d need to strain so hard to see that it looked like another language. I’d miss it thrice before either passing the test or being told I was in fact an artificial lifeform to my obvious dismay. Luckily you don’t see those much anymore. It’s all the picture ones now. You know, “click all the pictures that have a boat (or a bridge or a bike or a bus or some other b-word) and then hit next.” Now in a way this sounds much easier and faster than the scrambled text. On paper that is. Until it gives you another page or two of those nine picture grids. Or better yet, the boat (or bridge or bike or bus) simply isn’t in any of the pictures at all! In these cases you have to click skip, after which the computer will give you a totally different prompt and image set altogether. I hate those. This was not those.
It wasn’t even a b-word. Honestly it didn’t even look like a word at all. At first I thought maybe they’d mixed in the old word scramble style with the new image selection style to create some horrible new type of ReCAPTCHA designed to strike terror into the hearts of receptionists and assistants globally. Then I looked closer. There were no hidden or scratched out characters. “Select all images with ילדי אלוהים. Click verify once there are none left.” I wasn’t sure what language it was, but it wasn’t English, and I’m no multi-linguist. What the hell was ילדי אלוהים? My initial thoughts were of frustration. Like, damn, how am I supposed to find ילדי אלוהים? I don’t even know what ילדי אלוהים is! I tried not to get too worked up over my computer screen. Maybe it was just a weird glitch. I’m sure if I look down at the images there’s some b-word repeated and I’ll just figure it out by process of elimination.
When I did turn my attention to the images, no pattern emerged. I was practically straining my eyes seeking some kind of vehicle or structure repeated throughout the pictures. There were a couple of buses. Ah, but shit. There were a couple SUVs too. And plenty of roads. I was so absorbed in trying to find a link that I didn’t even notice the one image that was different from the others at first. I’m not quite sure what caused me to notice it first, maybe that it was the only photograph taken at night. The whole thing had a yellowish hue, different from the other eight pictures. It was roosted in the top left spot. There was an alleyway, small not very big, with a building on the right, and some bushes on the left. The photograph was illuminated by a single streetlight, the source of the yellow tint. It wasn’t the backdrop that took my attention however. It was the figure.
The being was black, silhouetted by the streetlight. Most details sunken into the shadows. It’s body was thin and slender, yet it’s head was huge, almost equal in size to it’s torso. I briefly wondered how you could hold up a head that big. That’s when I noticed the size of the figure overall, at least as tall as the building beside it, perhaps a bit taller. I know that shadows and light can play tricks on perspective, but this wasn’t one of them. I knew that, somehow, deep in my gut. I’d have said the thing was photoshopped or edited if I’d been asked right then, but that same gut feeling. I knew it was a real image. Knew those white specks of eyes were looking at something. Me? I shivered in my chair. Goosebumps. It was silly. Just a weird ReCAPTCHA error clearly. Except…
The chills knocking some sense into me, I decided that this thing, ילדי אלוהים or not, wasn’t something I’d like to keep looking at. If it was an error or prank it’d probably fix itself. I locked eyes with the being, and took a quick screen grab for IT as I clicked to skip the heinous puzzle. I should’ve just clicked on ילדי אלוהים. The nine square grid changed. But this was different than normal. At the top, the ReCAPTCHA prompt stayed the same. Find ילדי אלוהים. But the images below were no longer images at all. That strange picture of the figure in the alley way had been split into a mosaic, a sector of it taking up each slot on the nine point grid. The photo now filled the whole puzzle. My eyes widened. I felt cold. This was not normal. It had to be a hacker or a joke or a mistake. The image enlarged, I finally took a better look at the environment behind the silhouetted thing.
I recognized this place. It was an alleyway in my neighborhood. Barely a block away. Another set of goosebumps. Fuck, I could see that streetlight out my window when I laid in bed at night. I know it pretty well. You can only see it clearly when all the lights are out in the room, because it doesn’t actually light up, making it hard to see in the dark if there’s light pollution. In the five years I’d lived here, that was the only lamp that didn’t light in the whole neighborhood. As far as I knew. I was certain it was hackers by now, and more than a little concerned that they knew approximately where I lived. But that picture had to be old (because of the streetlight) and it had to be edited (despite the strange feeling that groped my mind when I looked into the silhouette’s eyes). I was pretty on edge at this point and had practically forgotten I was there to renew my driver’s license. All I know was that there could be no doubt in my mind: this was ילדי אלוהים. Whatever the hell that meant. Since the skip button just made things worse I tried a new tactic.
I selected every picture on the grid, all nine, with a baited breath. Fearing the next grid would be some shot inside my room, a hidden camera filming my every move, I clicked verify. As quick as it was there, the grid vanished. I’d completed the ReCAPTCHA. The thank you message rang a bit hollow. It realized I had been holding my breath and took in a bit of air. The government website had progressed to the next stage of the license renewal, some lengthy form which I had no desire to fill out. I instead reached behind my monitor and shut it off. I could renew my license in the morning. Maybe I’d even just go into the DMV and do it for real. I wouldn’t mind getting out of the house. I could even shave, try a clean face again. I was due a new photo after all if I did say so myself, despite my earlier thoughts to the contrary.
I got out of my chair and just kind of stood there for a moment, the buzz of my AC unit ambiently humming in my ears. Though I’m not sure how long I stood there, eventually I went and grabbed a glass of water, taking my time, still unable to shake this odd cold feeling. After a brief piss, I took my leave. Shutting and locking the door to my room, turning out the lights, and wrapping myself in a blanket cocoon in bed. I felt like I would have a difficult time going to sleep this evening. And I still didn’t have a Real ID. I pulled the covers tighter, still cold. I tried, but couldn’t sleep. Bothered by a yellow glow on the backside of my eyelids, one I was unaccustomed to. I opened them to realize I’d tossed and turned and was facing the window. A block or so away was the streetlight. It was on.
I stared at it for what seemed like an eternity. Without looking away from the golden light, I reached up and grabbed the cord for the blinds. I pulled tight, and the blinds clattered the rest of the way shut. The room now fully dark, I shut my eyes once more, and the sandman took me. The next day I did a web search for ילדי אלוהים. Apparently it was Hebrew. It means “Children of God.”