I’m a clumsy bastard. I knew that for sure earlier. I tried to pick up my laptop from it’s edge with three fingers, while holding a large McDonalds coke and a bag of the rest of the order.
I’m glad my parents weren’t home when I slipped climbing up the stairs carrying all of that shit with me.
because my mom would’ve killed me seeing all of that coke spilled on the stairs, and my dad defiantly would’ve killed me seeing the new laptop he bought me last year broken to 2 pieces.
So this morning I found myself scrapping up what survived of my food from the stairs, holding tears because I have a homework to finish and no laptop. I wish that was still the biggest of my worries.
In the vacant house, I went to my cousin Eric’s room, which was a weird thing to say.. I still didn’t have enough time to adjust to him living with us, not that he had the time to unpack his stuff yet.
but nevertheless I took his laptop from one of the boxes, and opened it in my room, trying to guess his password.
It wasn’t 2006 (the year I guessed he was born, considering we’re in the same grade) nor the year his brother was born either (2001) … which I should’ve guessed that, considering…
Honestly I think everyone in my family hates Isaac too after what he had done.
Anyways, eventually I desperately entered 0000, and felt dumb and smart at the same time, cuz his laptop unlocked.
I started doing my homework, and by doing I mean procrastinating by closing and opening the page as I was shoving fries into my mouth. I even thought of actually returning to clean up the stairs, just to not do my homework. But considering that my parents are not returning until 10 pm, I have plenty of time to properly clean later.
When I finally wrote down few sentences in the word document, I clicked Save (cuz god forbid I lose those golden sentences that took me an hour to write) and it automatically opened a window to Documents, which contained a bunch of past word docs saved and one of them was titled: Eulogy
This kinda made me feel sad.
Eric is only 16 and he has to write a Eulogy for his entire family.
Anyways I started reading,
Eulogy:
“I don’t know how to do this, but I felt like I should try. My mom and dad were such great parents, and I wish I had told them that enough.
They have been taking care of me, and they raised me well… and sometimes I feel sorry for being this sick, because it made their lives harder.
Ever since I was a kid I’ve been having lots of issues with my health, as some of you may know.
my parents took me to so many different doctors and none of them were able to figure out why I’m always sick. Why I keep coughing blood, and faint a lot.
It’s been really hard for me to see my mom crying when she thought I was asleep. My dad working so hard to find a doctor that could find a cure or at least diagnose me.
And now they’re dead, and I can’t help it but to blame myself. I know my brother is the one who—
But I feel like some of the blame falls on me. I needed so much from my parents, and I guess that made him feel left out.
I know (insert aunt or uncle or police name here) tried to hide what happened from me, but I know. I heard (insert aunt or uncle or police name here) mention something about my parents being drugged, and that’s why they weren’t able to smell the smoke. I know my brother drugged himself too so he could die that night.
My brother was not just feeling left out, I think he was mentally ill. He had times where he didn’t leave his room, and times where he became very violent, specially with me.
He once bushed me down the stairs, breaking my leg. I told my parents I fell off the stairs, but I think they were able to figure out Isaac was involved.
And the more they tried to punish him the more aggressive he became, and I can’t stop feeling guilty about that. He killed them *pause*
He killed them because… *cry* because of me.
*cry, and stop talking*”
I felt sad the first time I read this… but I also i’m confused… because his parents died few days ago, and ever since he was in the hospital.
I didn’t think he had time to write this. His stuff were recovered from his house, and I heard my dad saying that Eric’s illness saved him, because a while before the incident, his room was moved to downstairs cuz climbing up exhausted him. And the fire was started in the 2nd floor.
I had a weird feeling in my stomach trying to reread the document. It felt like an unfinished draft, and ending with *cry* and *stop talking* felt like a reminder?? so he knows when to cry??
The last thing I did before writing this post is I checked the properties on the file, and the date tells me the file was created over a year ago.