Hello everyone. I found something super unsettling and I’m writing you to see if any of you can help me make sense of it.
Ok, some background: I was adopted when I was a baby. I didn’t know until I turned 18. However, on my birthday, my mom (ok, adoptive mom, but she raised me, so… You know) told me it was time for us to talk. My mind started racing. What did I do? Did I screw up? I am mostly an introvert who stays at home and don’t get into trouble, I’m a good student, I couldn’t fathom what could have been so serious to issue the look in my mom’s eyes.
-Am I in trouble?
Her eyes softened. She chuckled and held my hands. I felt the icy touch of her skin. My mom has always struggled with blood flow to her limbs, so she’s always freezing. I think it’s called Raynaud or something. Her fingers get absolutely white when it’s cold, I always joked saying she has dead fingers. Anyway, I’m drifting away. Carrying on…
-You did nothing wrong sweetheart. There’s just… Something we never told you, and dad and I think you’re old enough to know now. Right Mike?
My dad looked uncertain.
-Huh… Right. I guess.
-Wait, I’m getting worried. What are you gonna tell me?
Silence.
-Oh c’mon, spit it out! What, are you gonna tell me I’m adopted or something? - I joked and let out a nervous laugh. Honestly, it had crossed my mind. My mom had blue eyes, my dad green, but I had dark brown eyes. When I learned about genetic probability and recessive genes in school, it struck me as odd and planted a seed of doubt in me.
My dad scratched the back of his head and looked away. My mom dropped my hand and stared at her shoes, touching the tips of her fingers rapidly and nervously. My laughter died when it dawned on me that I had hit a bullseye.
-Wait… For real? Is this true? Are you pranking me or something?
-Honey… No… It’s not a prank, - my mom said - it’s true. We wanted you to be old enough to understand, that’s why it took us so long to tell you.
My mind was racing. It changes everything. But, then again, does it?
-We got you from a lady that… There’s no way to sugar-coat it. She didn’t want a kid. You had been born at home, so there was no registration. She found us somehow, I’m not even sure how, but I think she had some inside information from the clinic that followed your mom - my dad continued - as we were trying to conceive but we came to the conclusion I was infertile. We know what we did is not right, but we took you and registered you as if you were our biological child. It raised some eyebrows but we came up with an excuse, and things worked out.
-OK…? This is… A lot!
-We know honey - my mom took my hands again - but we wanted you to know we love you exactly the same as if you were born from my womb.
For two years, I let it go. But the question was still there. Who is my biological family? So, this year, as I turned 20, I asked my mom. She was a bit scared, but she ended up pointing me towards an address in a town nearby. She told me the woman who brought me gave a fake name, which makes sense given the situation. I decided I’d go there looking for anything that could help.
When I got to the town, my first thought was heading to the police station. I said I was looking for my biological family and gave them the address. The officer looked at me with a suspicious face.
-Whats your name again?
-Huh… Lizzie…
-OK Lizzie, you must have the wrong address. The address you gave me belongs to a lady that doesn’t have kids. She did have a baby, about 20 years ago, but this baby has been presumed dead since she was two weeks old.
I quickly did my math.
-Wait… I’m 20.
His eyes widened.
-Can I see your ID?
The man took my ID and confirmed my age. Without a second thought, he went to the back and called an older man, I suppose it was his boss.
-Here’s the lady I was telling you about.
-Hello miss. I take it you’re Lizzie?
-Hello. Yes. Yes I am sir.
He grabbed a newspaper cutout and looked at it, his eyes darting between me and the photo in his hands.
-I mean… It could be her. Look at the eyes and the nose - he pointed out to the other man.
-Yes but… Right now… What are we supposed to do?
They looked tense. I was close to losing my patience.
-Huh… Excuse me? Can you point me to this person you’re talking about?
They looked at each other. The younger man sighed while the older one scratched his head. They both looked at a loss. The younger man leaned against the counter and talked to me softly.
-Look kid… You couldn’t have chosen a worst time to come, honestly…
-What? What do you mean?
-This lady you are looking for… The one that might be your mother… She went missing around 3 months ago, along with one of our officers.
-Wh-what do you mean? She ran away?
-No… See those bullet holes there? - he pointed at a wall across the door - Those bullets were aimed at this lady you’re looking for. We had search parties for over a month, but we couldn’t find her or the officer who was protecting her. It was a… Complex case. But I can’t give you any more details. If you ask around though, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of people willing to give you the inner scoop. It was kind of a big deal.
I felt the tears flooding my eyes. Without a word, I turned my back and left. I needed to go for a walk, to think. I had no idea why I was so worried and upset about a woman who gave me away when I was a baby, who didn’t want me. But I wanted to find her. To know who she was. To ask her why she didn’t want me. At least that, understand why.
I kept walking until I found myself in the woods. The place was calm and the breeze was fresh and light. The air smelled a lot better than in the city, and the rays of sun dripped solidly through the leaves on the trees. I sighed and sat on a rock.
That’s when it hit me. A smell. A really bad smell. A smell that would make anyone leave as soon as possible. But for some dumb reason, I followed it. I don’t know what crossed my mind. I just… Did.
What I found will keep me up at night for as long as I live. Two corpses, mostly rotten, barely identifiable. A man and a woman. The clothes were so dirty and mixed with fluids that you could barely make out the colors. I think the man was dressed in blue, the woman I’m not so sure. Next to them, was something I never had seen before and gave the whole thing an even weirder and gag-worthy vibe: it looked like a pair of prosthetic legs, but they were hollow. You know like the props that are used in movies? Yeah.
I was looking at all of that, completely horrified, when I heard leaves rustling. It was steps. I called out for help and a man appeared.
-Oh hey there!
-Oh my god you have to help me, I found two dead bodies…
-I see… - the man looked at the bodies and, to my surprise, he wasn’t thrown off by then even s little bit. The look on my face must’ve given me away, because he laughed and said - Oh, don’t worry. I’m a criminal investigator, I deal with dead bodies all the time.
I calmed down a bit. It appears I’m in good hands. A few minutes ago he told me he was gonna call in his team and went back to his car. I’m writing this because I’m wondering what to do. I’m absolutely horrified and traumatized. Oh, and I still have no leads on my bio parents. I was going to call the police, but the man told me this is way above their heads and asked me to stay here while he handles it. I think I’m going to trust him.
P.S.: the man’s back and he brought me a cup of tea from his car. How nice of him!