I’m writing this as I wait for my therapist to arrive. A few days ago, I discovered this subreddit because I always enjoyed reading horror and watching people lose their shit at any given point. It was fun for me and I took these stories with a light heart, thinking it has little to no truth in it.
That was until,I read some stories one day and went to sleep. I was awoken within 15 minutes after dozing off. I had an episode of sleep paralysis where I could see my dead remains of my family. Of course this wasn’t new to me since I always used to get these kind of episodes but this time was different. My body was shivering, my body temperature dropped drastically. There was banging and screams coming from the walls. I felt as if someone was calling my name, telling me to run away and never sleep during nighttime again. I could feel the souls of my grandpa and grandma who died in this very same house. I was losing my fucking shit. Everything that surrounded me made me feel like the whole world wanted to kill me for some reason. I could feel shaky breaths underneath my neck and I screamed so loud, but the entire house was empty. I was alone that night.
I ran down the stairs to call my boyfriend on his cell and tell him to take me away from here. I was clinging on to such little hope and kept on crying until I escaped from there, but the feeling that my dead grandparents were watching as I was in the car. My breathing was getting restless, my heart was beating rapidly, as if it would come out and leave my body at any point of time. Suddenly, my boyfriend stopped the car and I asked him what happened. I swear I watched the life in his eyes leave when he saw that my grandfather was sitting on a light pole, waving at me, saying he misses me and wants me to come with him. He had died an unfortunate death by getting hit by a truck when I was just a kid. I never imagined that I’ll be able to see him again. He really loved me but we were separated so unexpectedly. I’ve seen souls of people before, but this was something I couldn’t bear to see. My own dead grandfather wanting me to die. I kept on crying throughout the car ride and my boyfriend somehow managed to reach his place and I survived the night.
I feel so disconnected from the world now. Nothing feels real to me and I feel like everyone is put into this existence to cause some kind of harm to me. Even my close ones. I was recently raped which is probably why I’ve been feeling this way. Since, recently it feels like another door of perspective has been opened to me, but just like the truman show, everyone around me is placed by some higher power whose only purpose it to bring me pain and suffering.It feels to me as if I’m in a torture chamber, and my life is living hell. I can’t wait for this to be over. I’ll wait for the day when my own truck arrives.