A few weeks back when I was in the shower a random thought popped into my head.
‘What’s the scariest face I can make?’
I thought about that for a bit and let it roll around in my head before stepping out and drying my hair off.
‘How do I approach this?’ I thought to myself. ‘Just go for it?’
I looked into the mirror, at my normal face. Then I slowly started smiling at my reflection. I smiled wider and wider, baring my teeth and stretching my gums. I pulled my eyelids up with my fingers. Everything looked strained and pulled and contorted in a horrific way. I impressed myself even with how scary it was. I can’t even properly describe it. I looked like an animal. I looked vicious and excited. I held the face not even for two seconds, but the fear that I managed to instill in myself was unsettling.
I finished drying off and went to bed.
That night was when the nightmares started. In the dreams I was looking at myself, standing against a black void, and making the face. I call it a nightmare, which it was. It was definitely terrifying and made me wake up with a jolt, but there was some morbid curiosity I guess. Like looking at a car crash. I was almost tantalized by the image of it.
I got up and went to the mirror. I wanted to make the face again, thinking that it would scratch some kind of mental itch. I looked at my reflection and started contorting it. Widening my smile and pulling at my eyelids.
This time though, I couldn’t make the face. It wasn’t even close to how it looked before. I stayed at the sink pulling my cheeks until they hurt just to get a look at something similar, but I couldn’t. I tried falling back to sleep, but it didn’t work.
The next day I went to work and I wasn’t myself. Probably because I stayed up 5 hours longer than usual. But no it was more than that it had to be. I felt slightly paranoid. I was jumpy despite having no energy. I kept thinking about my face. My face. It was me still. That’s what I had figured anyway. I didn’t want my thoughts to get the better of me, so I put my nose down into my work.
About an hour into my shift I just couldn’t take it. I went to the bathroom and made sure it was clear of people before I started pulling and grinning and seething. I just couldn’t get it.
A coworker walked in on me. He said that 45 minutes had passed and he was checking if I was alright. It couldn’t have been that long. Could it?
This kept happening. Night after night for weeks I kept seeing myself make the face in my dreams, and struggling to come close to it in real life. I was issued a formal warning at work for my frequent and long trips to the bathroom. What do they expect me to do??? I kept hoping it would go away somehow, but it never did. Until last night. My dream was different.
The face spoke to me.
It wasn’t my voice. It was deeper and drawn out. It was the face’s. I was sure. They said that I can’t make the face anymore, but I knew people who could. My coworkers. My friends too. My family even. I’m really excited. Really really excited. If everybody else made the face they would get it! I’m making this post before I go into work. The face told me I’m gonna hide in the bathrooms and show people. It’ll make the nightmares go away.
Wish me luck!
:)