Quite a few years ago, my parents signed me up for this, rather expensive, streaming service and are making me pay the bill. The rules for making an account are honestly just fucking bizarre. Here are some the rules of the accounts:
You need at least two people with accounts to send you referral links and they must both write you letters of recommendation
You need somebody with you during your account setup process. This person must already have a subscription.
You must make all payments on time. If you skip a payment or are late then your account may be seized and never returned to you
If you miss too many consecutive payments, or if you decide to end your subscription, then all of your user data will be wiped.
If you view any content labeled “invalid” then you will be locked out of your account for an amount of time proportional to how badly the invalid video corrupts the server.
The service reserves the right to cancel your account at any time without prior notice, but notice may be given if they think you may be able to amend your error
There are actually a few dozen more rules, but these are really the biggest six and the rules become less and less important further down the list. As I said, my parents signed me up for it and I really just don’t care for it. I asked them if I could just cancel my subscription and they said “Do you not understand how long it took us to get you this account? Do you not appreciate all of the work that we have put in for you?” I guess they have a point, it is quite a long and expensive process, but that doesn’t change the fact that they should have asked me before signing me up for something so time-consuming. One thing they always bring up is that maybe if I actually sat down and watched some of the shows on there then I might actually want to keep my subscription. Believe me. I have. I have watched hundreds, maybe even thousands, of hours of shows on this garbage, and honestly, I’m just tired of it. I don’t even keep my subscription for me anymore.
You see, there is this feature where you are allowed to share your account link with people you trust. From this link, they can access your library and add items to their own collection of content. At the same time, they can allow you to make new libraries and lists of shows based off of their account. As you might expect, my parents immediately shared my link between the both of them so now they get to know every show I have watched, unless I view it in private mode of course. Unfortunately, they have built their playlists for me ever since they made my subscription, so if I delete my account then I will also delete their entire playlists, ones they have spent so many hours and days making. I still don’t quite understand why they did this when they knew I didn’t want to keep my account, but who am I to question my parents? At least that’s what they would tell me. Anyway, that’s not even the most unsettling part.
Your account sort of has a mind of its own and can tell, based on your viewing habits, if you are planning to cancel your subscription. In this case, it will start recommending very explicit, but also very intriguing content. It’ll show you videos of street fights followed by a full-length film of one-night stands and orgies. Depending on my mood, it might show me a drug-fueled night out on the town or videos of people going out as groups and drinking themselves to the point of contagious, illogical laughter. It’s shown me a month-long movie just called “Getting high and crashing at my friend’s house”. As I watch these videos, I get so entranced and pulled in that it’s like I’m really there with them, experiencing it as they do. I have to work so hard to pull myself out of these episodes of crazy TV shows if I can even hope to keep my job. Thankfully my many missed days of work have gone mostly unnoticed. I go through cycles of overworking and underworking, so my overall productivity looks average every week.
But the worst of it? The absolute worst of it is when I tried to take matters into my own hands and cancel my subscription. Of course, it made me sift through a dozen buttons, but it also forced me to… watch things. I don’t know how they produced it, whether it was CGI or actors, the impact was all the same. I saw a video of my mom slitting her own wrists while sitting in my bed. Her face was covered in tears as she screamed out in emotional and physical anguish. As the blood dripped down to her feet, a box appeared in front of the video stating “Do you want this?”
Of course, my immediate reaction was shock and disbelief. I stared at that question for a full hour before finally clicking no and being sent back to the home screen.
A few days later I decided to try again, but this time I was prepared. I went through all the initial prompts and, there it was again, that video of my mom. I took a hard gulp and pressed forward. Another video showed up, this time of my dad. He was standing over my brother with his fist raised high. My brother’s face was bloodied and covered in bruises. My father’s knuckles looked like they were just a few hits away from breaking the skin of his hand completely open. He continued beating my brother as he shouted something about how he “was supposed to protect…,” but I couldn’t discern anything else. I didn’t know what the video meant and frankly, I didn’t want to.
I pressed “yes” and was greeted with a new video, this time of my girlfriend. She was in a jail cell. Her skin was as thin as paper and just as white. At least anywhere that didn’t contain one of her many bruises. Her eyes were sunken into their sockets and her hair was missing in large patches. Her dried, pulled-back lips revealed yellow, rotting teeth. It only took a few seconds of looking at her to tell that she had become addicted to something like heroin or cocaine. I didn’t want to keep looking at her in such a horrid state so I averted my eyes. When I looked back, the image of her was gone. I was back on the home screen again.
Later that night, I went through the entire process once more. I spent an hour rewatching all the videos and rechecking all the boxes before I finally got to what I presumed was the last box. It read “All your account information will be deleted, and you will never be allowed to make a new account. Are you sure you would like to do this?” I stared at it for hours, unsure if I should do it. Maybe my parents were right. It’s not like I could do anything else with that extra money anyway.
Well, tonight is going to be different. I am more determined than I have ever been and no number of scare tactics will keep me from taking back something that I never got to accept in the first place. I’m ending it all tonight.