I am partially precognitive. So I spent half my life waiting for strange murders and shit to happen. Then when it finally happens, it’s not a relief. It’s worse. Nobody believes me nor do they seem to care.I think the laws of physics are wrong and I’m one of the few that seems to notice. The memory that people SHOULD have from my past predictions is mysteriously absent from their current brains. It’s like I’m sliding between parallel dimensions and the new copy of my family doesn’t have the memory of my predictions.
I spend my nights wondering. Are we living in a broken computer? How can I see the future - but only sometimes? Why couldn’t I use this to actually help people? What does it all mean? Why can’t I seem to accomplish the prediction AND produce evidence to share? Why is it that the two things are mutually exclusive - proof and precognition?
For example. When I was young, and healthy, how did I KNOW that I was going to be diagnosed with fatal organ failure in the future, and therefore I shouldn’t sleep with this woman and marry her? How the hell did know that I was going to be 1 in ten thousand people with this type of problem? Before a single symptom, or any indication. 20 years before the doctors told me about my disease. Is my genetic condition part of the source of my precognition? Is my brain really that different?
And when I get a 6 month or 1 year break from the visions… and I feel like everything is normal… out of nowhere I’ll get another horrible vision of something and then I’m scared to even leave the house.
Recently I put my seatbelt on, held my hand up in the air, to feel the air.. and sat there at an intersection, even when it changed to a green light; because I knew I was about to get hurt. The person behind me honks their horn. I continue to wait. Out of nowhere some woman came flying through the red light, where I was going to be driving. SO.. long story short…. Just because I wanted to go to the bank, once again I’m questioning our entire reality. It’s impossible that I could have seen that car prior to ‘feeling imminent danger’ and putting on my seatbelt, waiting, looking at the light turn green, waiting.. and THEN she sped through. That’s like, 15 - 20 seconds. Plenty of time to assume that side of the highway would come to a complete stop. But I KNEW. One of them was about to hit me. So I avoided it. I put on my seatbelt. =)
It happens often enough that I’m positive. Precognition is real… But I have NO IDEA what I’m supposed to do with this shit.
I guess the horror is - Even if you had some kind of precognition, if you can’t control it and you only see death, mostly, it’s like living in a constant state of anxiety.
When is the next time I’m going to have to tell somebody they have cancer in their ass?
Or tell somebody to leave their husband, he’s about to kill them?
When is the next time an unmarked Sikorsky uh-60 flies directly to my house, runs a circle, and then goes back to an airport? Why are they so interested in me? Do they have a record of what I can do?
When’s the next time I have to drive down a street where I don’t travel or live, to find the tree that’s about to fall on a little girl?
And why are people so scared that instead of believing me, I sense that I would have been arrested for harassment? Sigh.
When I stopped those people from killing me those few times, did I switch dimensions? Is the old me still dead? Probably. How else could I have seen the future, if it didn’t happen… somewhere. ?
How many times did I die and get a second chance? At least 3…. IS this happening to everybody, but we just don’t notice? Is there some hidden force that corrects certain errors, or branches code like a simulator in a computer?
I left that note in a plastic bag, in a dead tree, that said “Laura, if you’re reading this. I’m the guy that lives across the street. When you move here, I might need to help you take care of your baby. I think. Signed - Me.”. A woman, with the name I had written down, moved into that house, 15 years later… and walked over to the tree, and (since they invited us to a show when they moved in, I noticed) she had posted on facebook “this is the most amazing tree I’ve ever seen! It’s so beautiful”. Completely unsolicited. I still had never told anybody about the note. Then it dawned on me. I had already removed the note from the tree, because while I was waiting 15 years, I got bored and figured it was never going to happen. hahahaha. So, for some odd reason, this woman’s cat came over here, to live with us. After I took ownership of the cat, I realized “I helped take care of her baby after all”. But there wasn’t any proof. Sigh. But then, she STILL DID mention that the tree was amazing. Just imagine if she reached in there and saw her name in s ziplock bag that was 15 years old. hahaha.