To some American Indian tribes, a dream is its own form of reality. There is the world in which we live our everyday life, a world which we can see and touch, and there is the dream world, a world that we cannot see or touch, but just as real as the waking world. To many Native Americans, the dream or spiritual world is just as real and just as solid as the ground under our feet. In fact you cannot have one without the other as they are just two aspects of the same reality.
Many of you may be aware of the Native American tradition of a vision quest, where one meets their spirit animal or their ancestors. But what you may not know is that they also believe that dreams allow you to you visit this other, or sprit world. A dream is a bridge that allows you to connect the physical world with the spirit. In effect many tribes view dreams as a doorway, portal, or gateway to the spirit realm.
Among many this belief was held so precious that many sacred rituals, many involving years of practice and the depravation of food and drink, have been developed to allow the dreamer to understand the meaning of dreams. Many Native Americans also believe that in the dream world you can cross the boundaries of time. They believe that not only can you visit the spirit realm, but while there time had no meaning, the past, the present, even the future are as easily accessible as walking through a doorway.
In modern western society, some people have claimed to experience astral projection or leaving their bodies and traveling to far-away lands, while others have experienced out of body events due to illness or injury. These stories seem to indicate that maybe the Native Americans were on to something. Maybe there is a place you can visit in your dreams.
I never gave astral projection, or visiting the spirit world much thought, as I figure everyone finds out sooner or later for themselves what it is like to leave the body. We all have to die sometime, no need to rush it. However there is one thing that has always fascinated me, Lucid Dreaming.
To those of you who have never heard the term, Lucid Dreaming is the act of being fully aware and cognitive while in the dream state. Not only being aware of the fact that you are safe and secure in your own bed and everything you are experiencing is a dream, but also being able to control the dream.
Yes, you read that right, experienced lucid dreamers can direct their dreams. Some lucid dreamers claim to have the ability to exercise total control over not only the dream itself, but even the environment in the dream. Some even claim to have the ability to metamorphize their dream body into other people, or even animals and birds. In this state they can even fly and soar with the eagles. But to others the control is more limited; they have only the ability to shove or push the dream in a new direction, often without any real control over the destination.
When I was a teenager and first read about Lucid Dreaming, I became captivated by the possibilities. The freedom to do anything, go anywhere, be anyone or anything, held a special attraction to my younger self, and I must add, even now more than forty years later, the possibilities are intriguing.
For years I tried, I tried to recognize and control my dreams. I consumed every text I could find on the subject. I tried every exercise, every technique, yet success always evaded me. No matter how much I desired it, no matter how much I tried, the result was the same. The control of dreams seemed to be beyond my abilities. So I gave up, for decades I gave it no thought, as the wonders I so wanted to experience were simply beyond my grasp.
However a few years ago a particularly vivid nightmare left me drenched in sweat and trembling in my bedsheets. Somehow, that experience reawakened the old desire to control my dreams. If I could control my dreams I need never experience the terror and helplessness of a nightmare again. So I began the exercises I remembered from my youth. Night after night I practiced; night after night I tried; night after night I stood at the metaphorical doorway of the dream world and pounded my fists against its resilience. I was determined to succeed; I was determined to visit this place of wonders.
Suddenly, on a night like any other, without warning, without fanfare, the door opened….
I found myself suddenly completely aware that the events I was experiencing were a dream. The realization that I was laying in my bed, completely safe and secure despite what my senses seemed to be telling me was strangely comforting while at the same time being completely disorienting. The experience is almost beyond my ability to describe, as there is a certain duality of existence while in a lucid dream; you seem to exist in two places at once.
You find yourself visiting with and interacting with friends, family members, and relatives whom you have not seen in years, or are even long dead. At the same moment you sense yourself lying in bed. You can hear the sound of the clock ticking on the wall above your bedroom door. You can hear the sound of a car driving on the street outside your bedroom window. And you can even hear the sound of your spouse’s breathing in the bed alongside you.
My first time in a lucid dream, I felt as though I was little more than an observer. I watched myself interact with people from a third party perspective, almost as though I was watching a movie unfold around me. Yes, around me, for the sense was not as though the events were transpiring on a movie screen, but it was as though I was a disembodied observer floating through the events, while at the same time being a part of the events that were taking place.
The English language seems to lack the words to describe the experience. For the science fiction fans reading this, it was as though I was on a Star Trek style holodeck, completely immersed in the experience, while at the same moment being a ghostly disembodied observer to those very same events.
My initial success was an eye opening experience. I realized that though I had been little more than an observer, the stories were true. You can remember your dreams and you can be aware that you are dreaming. But could I do more? Could I control those dreams? Could I determine the path my psyche took while free from the constraints of the physical world?
I continued the exercises, and I did not have to wait long. A few short nights later I once again found myself in a dream while completely aware of my actual situation. And then a few nights later, again I was cognitive of my surroundings. My initial success seemed to have opened a doorway, or released a latent ability I did not know I had.
As I became more and more proficient at lucid dreaming, I learned that although I did not have the superhuman abilities so often wrote of by others, I did have the ability of self-determination. I could choose whether or not to walk through a doorway in my dreams. I could even choose, within some limits, the path my dreams took, or even when to end the dream and wake up.
That is one limitation I quickly discovered. When you are in a lucid dream, you cannot simply end the dream and return to dreamless sleep. Even though I was aware of, and in control of my dreams, I learned that sometimes the dream can get out of control. Sometimes, despite your best efforts the dream will careen out of your control like a runaway train.
I have described lucid dreaming as driving a hundred miles an hour on a frozen lake. Just one twist of the wheel, just one overeager tap on the break, and you find yourself spinning wildly and hopelessly toward the thin ice at the center. When this happens you have but one choice, you must end the dream. But therein lies the problem, you cannot simply end a lucid dream. If you wish to end a dream, you must wake your physical body. Wakefulness is your one and only exit from a lucid dream.
I also made other discoveries about the dream world. There are numerous myths and beliefs about dreaming. One of the more popular ones is the belief, even among many professionals, that you cannot encounter anyone in a dream that you have not seen or met in real life. Let me put that myth to bed right now! You absolutely can encounter strangers in your dreams, I have many times. I have learned that you can not only encounter strangers in your dreams, you can interact with and even seem to form relationships with people that exist only in your mind. Or do they?
Yes, you read that right, do they exist only in your mind? In one particularly vivid lucid dream I found myself at a glorious party. There were hundreds of people in attendance. Everyone, including myself was dressed in what would best be described as first century Roman clothing. Some might even go so far as to say that it was the most epic toga party that has ever been conceived. However, I do not wish to describe it in that way, as there was no indication of the drunken debauchery so often associated with toga parties. It would best be described as a neighborhood block party where everyone was simply dressed in ancient Roman clothing.
There were tables piled high with every good food and beverage your heart could desire. Everyone was happy and friendly and there was a sense of enjoyment that I have not the words to describe. In all my time lucid dreaming I have never had such a pleasurable or more agreeable dream as I experienced that night.
It was during this dream that something remarkable happened. I found myself wishing that my wife could experience what I was enjoying. Although I was in almost rapturous bliss, having the love of my life with me could only make things better. Suddenly it occurred to me that there was no reason she could not join me. It’s my dream; I was in control, perhaps to an extent I had never experienced before. I could have her join me. I could simply will her likeness into existence. So I did exactly that. I reached out with my mind and willed her into my dream.
Suddenly she was there. It was though she materialized out of thin air. We spent the night at that wondrous party. We eat the food and drank the drinks, and we danced throughout the night. But eventually all good things must come to an end and as the morning dawned, the dream world dissolved back into to ether from which it came. As is normal I woke before my wife, and feeling refreshed and invigorated, I rose from my bed to begin daily life. It was while I was having my morning coffee that my wife roused herself from her slumber and joined me at the kitchen table.
As she sat across from me she spoke, “What a crazy dream I had last night,” were the first words out of her mouth. Looking up from my morning paper my curiosity was piqued by her words.
“Oh, really,” I replied, “Tell me about it.”
Taking a sip from her steaming cup, she lowered the dark brown beverage to the table, “Well, I dreamed that you and I were at some crazy party. There was people, food and drink everywhere,” She paused and took another sip, “and get this,” she added, “we were all dressed like we were in some Bible movie, you know like Romans in Bible times,” she added.
For moments, my fingers lost their grip, and my cup almost fell to the table. I listened as she told of the events of her dream. My mind whirled in an attempt to comprehend the possibilities as she described details that were a perfect match for my memories of my own dream. More than once I completed her statements as she attempted to describe the events of her dream. The third time I completed her thought she paused, “How do you know that?” she questioned.
“Because I was there,” I replied.
“That’s impossible,” was her response.
“No, I was there,” I repeated. I continued, and described my own memories of the dream. Afterwards, we both sat in silence for long moments as we considered the possibilities.
“How is this even possible?” she finally added.
“I don’t know,” was my reply, “but we have to explore this further.”
And we did just that.
Although it didn’t happen every night, and I was not always successful at drawing her into my dreams, I found that from time to time I was able reach out and pull my wife right into my dreams. Why I was not always successful is a mystery. Some nights it seemed as though there is impenetrable wall that separated us. No matter how I fought . No matter how hard I pushed, I was unable to breach that barrier. Yet on other nights it is as though some cosmic alignment occurs. The wall between us disappeared, and I could reach out and pull her into the dream world with me as easily as one might pick up a telephone and make a call.
Though my wife never learned the ability to lucid dream herself, and our experiences seemed to indicate that I was in control, her morning recounts of those successful adventures matched my lucid dreams exactly. And over time, we both become convinced that this dream world we discovered is as real a place, a place as real as the physical world.
My wife and I loved traveling. For nearly ten years, we lived in an RV and traveled this great nation from coast to coast. We sunk our toes into the sandy Beaches of Florida. We marveled at the colors of the Painted Desert in Arizona. And we have enjoyed the beauty and wonders of Yellowstone. But her declining health, including a cancer scare, in later years, severely limited our travels.
Opening this doorway to the dream world was like a new lease on life for us. While in the dream world you are free from the constraints of your own physicality. You can be twenty one again. You can recapture the vigor of your youth. And for a time it seemed as though we had opened a doorway to Eden.
Ah, yes, Eden, that fabled land from so long ago; the garden in which God placed man and woman, free from the troubles and cares of life. A place where there are no worries and where joy becomes as physical as the air you breathe. According to Genesis, man was cast out from Eden, and an angel with a flaming sword was stationed at the gate. Because of his betrayal, mankind would never again be allowed to enjoy the wonders and bliss contained within its gates.
Is it even possible? Had we found Eden? Was there a loophole in man’s banishment? Had we discovered a way, if only for a little while, back in after all these thousands of years? Was this Eden?
In the end, it did not matter. Whether it was Eden or just some other realm of existence, to us, the dream world we had discovered was our Eden. But just as in the Bible story, every Eden has its serpent.
Why it did not meet me at the doorway that very first night, I shall never know. Perhaps, after all these millennia, it was sleeping. Perhaps it had simply taken it some time to locate the intruders into its domain. Whatever the reason for its absence, it returned. And though the Bible describes the serpent as subtle and crafty with a voice of persuasion and deceit, it is no longer so. Now the serpent is a raging beast, misshapen and twisted by time, hate, and anger.
This beast is dark and bitter, filled with rage and enmity. All those years ago it thought that it had beaten God. It had destroyed his master creation. It had watched with sadistic glee as mankind was driven out of the creator’s presence. And it had danced with joy at humanity’s loss of innocence. And then, it had raged in anger when God made a way for his children’s restoration.
It was this beast, full of rage, full of hate, twisted and misshapen by its own malice, corrupt and evil, driven by ten- thousand years of frustration, rancor and bitterness. It was this abomination to all of creation, which awaited me one night as I stepped through that doorway into the dream world.
I first encountered this beast in a lucid dream that was otherwise most pleasurable. I was at a picnic with my family and friends, several of who have been dead for some time. I was completely lucid and aware that it was a dream. Yet it was more than a dream, I was in a real place, enjoying the presence of long gone friends and family members.
Suddenly out of nowhere a horrible monstrous demon-like entity appeared and promptly ejected me from this joyous realm. This entity physically grabbed me, dragged me away from my family and friends, pulled me face to face with it and hissed into my face, “I am Amadusus, you do not belong here!” I could smell the sulfur and rot of hell on its breath
At that point the entity threw me across the field like a rag doll, and when I hit the ground I woke up in my bed sweating and in pain.
That first encounter did not deter me. I continued to practice lucid dreaming and was becoming quite adept at visiting the dream world at will. Suddenly as I was having a particularly vivid lucid dream and was actually able to be consciously in control of and able to change the events of the dream I became aware of the presence of what I recognized as the same malevolent entity I encountered in the picnic dream. I never saw it that time but could clearly feel its presence approaching, along with overbearing anger and hatred.
Suddenly I found that the dream was out of my control. I was driving a school bus, which I have not done in nearly forty years. In desperation tried to redirect the dream away from the entity, I tried to turn the bus in another direction, yet I found, that while I was still lucid, I was no longer in control of my dream. The entity, filled with rage, hate, and anger was in control, and fast approaching.
There was nothing I could do to escape it. Sweat dripped from my hair onto my eyebrows and ran into my eyes, burning them and blurring my vision. Looking down at my hands he could barely see them, but I saw well enough to see that they were shaking.
I became aware of a squishing slurping sound, like the sound of a rotting piece of meat being dragged behind some great beast of prey. Suddenly it was on top of me, and reaching through the very roof of the vehicle, it grabbed me by the hair of my head and began to pull me up and over the back of the school bus driver’s seat. I screamed in terror as panic as it leaned over and hissed in my face, “You were warned.”
I felt the spittle drip onto my face, I could smell the sulfur, I could feel the rage, and I suddenly knew that I was going to die. There was nothing I could do, the beast was in control, and there was no one there to save me.
Suddenly, there was a flash and I was wide awake. My wife was sitting astraddle my chest screaming in my face, slapping, and shaking me. Once I was able to regain my senses, she told me that my body movements had awakened her. On waking she said that she found me with my head arched backward into the pillow and my whole body bowed upward, hovering several inches above the bed with only the back of my head and my heels touching the bed. It was at this point that she climbed astraddle of me to hold me down and with much difficulty, shook me awake.
I found that I was soaked with sweat, there were claw marks on my cheeks and forehead, and my back and neck were hurting far worse than whiplash from any auto accident.
I know you will say it was just a dream, but I know different, it is more, much more. Some way, somehow, I learned how to intrude into another domain. A domain guarded by something very old, very evil, and very angry at any intrusion.
On my last visit there, the absolute evil, hate, and rage of this entity was beyond palatable, many orders of magnitude more intense that my first encounter. I have no doubt that this Amadusus is real and fully intended to kill me. And I have utterly no doubt that he would have succeeded, had it not been for the work of my sweet wife.
My wife has now passed, and now every night I pray that will never again lucid dream. For I know that Amadusus awaits, and next time my wife will not be there to save me.
Those of you out there wishing to learn how to lucid dream, I plead with you, DO NOT! The dream realm is a real place, and Amadusus awaits you.