My husband left for basic a few months ago, he left in May. May 22nd to be exact. He has dreamt of this since he as a kid from what I’ve been told, I was happy for him.
Week one I received nothing, I was saddened but okay with it. Maybe he couldn’t send me a letter or call me yet.
Week two, I received my first letter, it’s sloppily written but his handwriting has never really been readable. Kind of like a doctor writing a prescription the pharmacist knows what it is, but you don’t. Except I am neither the pharmacist nor the patient. I can make out some though… maybe I’m the sad cashier who finds the pharmacist when patients start coming to my line asking for help because they’ve waited forever. Here’s hoping he takes his time next time so I can read it.
Week three, finally readable letters, I took them to work so his family could read them. We all work together in a small family business selling dishes from their home country. His mom is in tears as his brother reads the letter out to us as he can decipher it best. It’s ok I think, everything is happy. He does write very different than how he talks or used to text me though… maybe basic taught him that.
Week four, his letters are clear, but he’s not happy anymore he seems distant on our phone calls. What is pulling him away? He did tell me about where I could find photos of him online…. I look the pages up and begin my search, I miss his smile, his face, his voice. Id kill for a “OH MY GOD” when he stubs his toe right now, just anything to hear his authentic sounds. So I look forward to our phone calls. Usually at noon on Sunday I can expect it… but this time I didn’t get it? At 5 my phone rings, I answer with hast, happy to hear his voice but it’s off “can you send me cough drops my card isn’t working and all my money is going to the joint bank account” this is the 6/7th time he’s said something about his throat being so hoarse, he sounds different, he doesn’t sound like my husband.
Week 5. I sent a care package pretty much everything I could find that was allowed to be sent. Letters, laundry stuff, cough drops, underwear and socks. Pictures. Maybe he’s sick, but my husband has a head like Everest, hard & thick, you cannot get thru it when he sets his mind to it. He could be choking on every breath but he’d still do anything asked to achieve his dreams. I’ve always admired that in him. I found a few photos of him online on the sites he talked about, he is so skinny, his eyes are black around them, he looks no longer with any life in his eyes… he doesn’t look like the man I married, but none the less this must be hard on him. I’ll support him until he is himself again, just like he did for me when my mental health wasn’t well.
UPDATE: it’s been a few weeks without communication, I guess someone keeps getting phone time taken away and he’s got nothing to write home about somehow. I’m sad, stressed and scared. But in my heart I know I’ll see him again soon. Basic graduation is next week anyways.
Graduation day. He didn’t show for family day… but I couldn’t find him anywhere on base and we were only supposed to pick him up from a specific location on base so there’s not much I could do… is he upset with me. I don’t understand. His parents drove me so we could be there for him. Maybe he’s still sick or is embarrassed about how much weight he’s lost, who knows. Today we go to graduation. I had watched videos on tiktok of ceremonies to get ideas of what people wore & how it went. The ceremony began with smoke bombs being lit along this field and trees behind the bombs being disguised in smoke. I hear chanting… screams… I’m not sure, I do have bad hearing, I always have. The figures get closer as some drop to their knees and lay down, maybe to army crawl. Then the screams start. They aren’t army crawling. As they get closer it’s clear, heads are ripped from bodies, the smoke no longer hiding them. Running across the field won’t save you, they run and pounce at anyone fleeing like a ravenous mountain lion. I want to run, I want to escape. The mass gets closer… I realize it took me 10 minutes to get here from the lot… Do I have a solid chance? That’s when I hear it “TORALINE!! MI AMOR! COME HERE!” He’s calling me, he’s so close but so far? I look down and look behind me, I’m far from his family. I don’t even remember standing up. The gaze of his family latches onto me as they smile “be with your osito mijita” My heart flutters as my vision blurs with what I think are tears, I can’t wait to hug my teddy bear again.