When someone asks you to be their maid of honor, say no.
Perhaps it’s better if I backtrack, if there was ever such a thing as a platonic soulmate, Melina is my fated one. We’ve been friends for over fifteen years, ever since Kindergarten when the teacher sat us next to each other we’ve been attached at the hip. We took the same high school electives, applied to the same schools, attended the same college, and rushed Alpha Pi Omega. When Melina met Dave, there was no question I would be her maid of honor, I was overjoyed to do this all for her.
Oh, how I would regret this.
It’s not that I don’t treasure Melina, I do! It’s the other matters that have been causing me a headache. Corraling Melina’s cousins into the same bridesmaid look, organizing both appropriate bridal showers and bachelorette parties for both her family, the sorority standards, and one we’d like took much more time and money than I’d ever like to admit. But this is for my best friend, and I’ll suck up anything that would get in the way of her biggest day.
But I made a mistake with the Airbnb.
It wasn’t that I had to book one, we could’ve stayed in a hotel, but that would be much more expensive than renting out this nice condo. I thought it was a good idea! Honest. I barely had time to drop off my things before I had to rush to the club and pre-setup the section I paid for. I was still waiting on receiving the other bridesmaids’ share, but at this point, I wasn’t holding my breath.
I was bringing back the food right as when bridesmaids began to arrive finally - despite supposedly wanting to set up with me. Instantly, the complaints started. How come we all didn’t have our own private room? How were we supposed to all get ready with only two bathrooms? It’s only fitting that Melina gets a whole bed to herself, so who would be sleeping on the floor? Not to mention, it was an accident that my glasses were crushed when they put their things on the counter, why would I wear glasses anyway? I could always wear contacts-
Oh? Don’t you have any contacts? You should look into them, it’s much cuter than wearing some thick goggle-like binoculars to see.
If I had to take a shot each time I held my temper, I’d be in a coma at this point. They didn’t even touch the catering I paid for. But Melina seemed happy, but to be a boozy bride getting married in two days, I can’t see how anything would get in the way of her fated happily ever after.
Still, the club was the worst experience I’ve ever had. Just by midnight, I was already holding back Melina’s hair as she threw up, two of the bridesmaids had gotten kicked out and were walking around the casino, and three more were flirting with the table next to us. Oh, how convenient that these strangers offered to invite us to their after-party! What possibly could go wrong? I argued against splitting the group, Melina had to go home, and though I was trying to muster every part of the responsibility I could, even I was - to put it nicely - shit-faced.
At this point, I didn’t care that the rest decided to go to the after-party, they have grown women soberer than I am at this point, the very least they did was pay the taxi driver extra to walk us up to our condo, and I’m ashamed to say I passed out in the back seat along with Melina. The taxi driver tapped my shoulder as he parked out front, standing up and stumbling, I clutched Melina tight to me as we helped each other up to the elevator, getting off our floor, I struggled for a good ten minutes trying to shove the Airbnb into no avail. I had to wake up Melina to help me, there were a bazillion keys on the key ring they gave me I must have gotten it wrong.
We finally got in after another twenty minutes, getting the key in but it was unfortunately stuck inside. By this point, I realized my stomach wasn’t agreeing with me, and maybe the amount I drank was too much for me. I rushed away, tripping after I hit a table I didn’t realize was even there. We were planning on moving some furniture to make more room for everyone, so now I’ll have a giant bruise on my thigh as a reminder.
Still, something felt…off. It was eerie how unfamiliar an Airbnb feels. Of course with hotels, it’s obvious that it’s a hotel, but this was someone’s…home. I…finished up what I was doing and walked back, searching for Melina. She had managed to get the key out and shut the door, and as I walked into the bedroom, saw her passed out in the bed. I headed into the kitchen, deciding a bottle of water would be best to guzzle down before the hangover of my nightmares effectively takes over.
Sitting down on the cool tile floor, I realized there was no leftover food from earlier. Really? Did these bitches throw it all away? That infuriated me more that I had no food to come back to. I was on my phone, scrolling aimlessly through TikTok and trying to focus on what I was listening to when I heard the door. The girls were currently at that guy’s house, and none of them had keys….was someone breaking in?
My heart dropped as I exited the app, hiding behind the island as someone opened the door. Melina must have left the door unlocked and I didn’t realize. A big burly man walked in, and my heart plummeted. Was it a robber? Or was it the owner of the house hoping to prey on a drunken bachelorette party? My mother warned me about this, renting an Airbnb meant anyone could have access, and this wouldn’t happen if I was in a hotel.
I took my phone and texted 9-1-1, thanking the heavens I heard about this option.
“Intruder, please help condo 453 glen oak, Nashville”
I didn’t want us to end up with the next special on Dateline.
Shakily, I reached up and opened a drawer, softly touching as I hoped for something or anything. It was a cloth drawer. My eyes began to water as I slowly opened the next, flinching as I heard a slight squeak. I looked around the corner, the man paused before reaching out to turn on the light.
He wore all black, black sweats and a large windbreaker covered his frame, he was over six feet and seemed to weigh twice as much as I did. I felt around again, this time it was normal utensils, what could I do with a spoon? I reached down once more, sniffling as I tried to control my breathing. I was a little more careless, the metal cookware lightly clinked against each other, and my heart dropped as the guy began to walk over.
But I grabbed what I wanted.
I screamed in the scruffle, I don’t remember what happened, but I managed to defend myself, I scrambled back to my phone, the cops were on their way at this point. I was crying heavily, practically hyperventilating as I looked around, with the lights on I realized nothing looked familiar, where were our things? Had he already robbed us and was coming back for us or more? I heard the police bolt down the hallway, but at this point, it didn’t matter.
I was staring at the portrait on the wall, of a big burly man smiling with his family, just in time to hear the cops break down the door of the condo next to me.