I M(38) live with my housemate Raj [name changed] M(40).
I rented the apartment first, did it the old-fashioned way of taking out a classified ad in a popular newspaper called ‘ADMAG” that doggedly clings on as a print media in my beloved city of Bangalore the beantown – in the age of tik-tok and zardulu.
Nice roomy apartment – two bedrooms with a spacious living room, fully stocked kitchen ( this is courtesy Raj, since he’s the one with full time job - before him, whilst I lived alone, I only had taken up one shelf and stocked it up with Korean super hot instant noodles — packs of it.
When I first met Raj I never really thought I’d like him. But I never have a full time job, and I do whatever gig that I can to pay the bills. So a bit of help with splitting of costs was very necessary.
I put out an ad on Facebook saying I’m looking for a housemate — it was meant to be Raj I guess. How I wish that wasn’t the case.
Raj, like most of the folks in Bangalore is a techie - he occasionally talks about crypto – which by the time I had a small grasp of it, I think I completely lost the plot with NFTs.
We seem to have some chemistry, which for guys of our age, basically means a small ability to tolerate each other, when we occupy common spaces.
The first conversation between us went something like this
“I’m Virgo, aren’t Gemini’s difficult people?”
“Rather indecisive we Geminis – can tell you more over a cup of mocha, since I can’t decide between hot chocolate and coffee” - he says.
“Castor likes coffee and Pollux likes hot chocolate” - he also clarifies.
I didn’t think much of it then.
That fateful day, we decided to order a massive bucket of KFC chicken, and large fries. Rest of the memories from that evening are very hazy.
We were talking at that point, or atleast that much I can remember.
I say something, Raj for some reason finds it incredibly funny, and starts to laugh out loud - unfortunately I think it was between mouthfuls, and that’s when he starts to choke.
I am trying to get near to him to do the Heimlich, but he’s resisting, and strangely his face is contorted with rage and he’s literally jabbing fingers at my direction, and it occurs to be, that for what it’s worth Raj has decided to let his anger get better of him, than let me do the Heimlich.
The very experience of watching someone die, right in front of you is horrific in itself.
To have accusative fingers being pointed at which screams “YOU DID THIS TO ME!” - isn’t easy to live down. I still have nightmares even to this day. I think I can atleast ‘try’ to perform Heimlich in my sleep - literally.
He collapses on the floor. I assume the worst, and go near him, I can still feel a feeble pulse.
I reach down his throat, since Heimlich is out of question now, and pull out the food that’s stuck.
He doesn’t start to breathe immediately. I then perform CPR. That’s when he wakes up - comes back on like a light being turned on - he refuses to let go of me, bites my tongue and suckles on the wound over and over – I was creeped out and I pushed him backwards.
I struggled to break free, and managed to do so, by then Raj’s looking a lot better, like the entire episode did not seem to have shaken him. He almost seems a bit too – new.
Over the next few weeks, ‘it’ started very small. I could actually hear or think the same thoughts Raj was thinking. For a while it was full of monkey cartoon thingy NFT – I told him this and he laughed out loud.
“You should perhaps stop thinking about my sister” - Raj tells me coyly.
Well apparently it’s a two way street - we both can ‘read’ each other’s thoughts - what could go wrong ?
It’s not easy, no it’s really not easy at all. To see someone, all dressed up for a zoom call, and talking about crypto exchanges and fiat currency - then to hear his thoughts of how he’s metally undressing Seema – the one he’s on zoom call with.
Such abilities are horrifying.
Yes, we’ve thought of killing each other as well. We both know each other, intricate best laid plans, that involve sophisticated chemicals to more primitive smashing the others head with rock.
We cannot stay away from each other, We are addicted to each others nightmares and dreams.
I am horrified at all the thoughts and deeds Raj has had over the years – he as a person scares me. Although I can read every one of his thoughts — we are strangers;
Our ability to read each other’s thoughts fades just by a bit, and we’re both paranoid - in that blindspot what the other person will plot. So we stay together indoors most of the time, do the shopping as well together, we’re a macabre couple of sorts now - too horrified to live apart - because of what we know about each other.
Too ashamed as well perhaps, also intrigued by what happened, since only we two were the witnesses to whatever this ‘phenomenon’ that has manifested.
The moment this above thought occurred to me, Raj quips “We’re Castor and Pollux”
“No, we’re Cain and Abel” I retorted..
Only yesterday Raj realized his sister has a serious bout of COVID 19 - which she caught the second time inexplicably. He’s going to make a quick visit to the hospital. I obviously want to accompany him, but then I am horrified that he can read me mentally undressing his sister,
I’m ashamed of that thought that cropped up. Raj’s appalled that I could even think such a thing when she’s ill.
“I’d like to go there alone” - Raj says.
He’s gone now. I have no sophisticated plans this time. Cain and Abel it is.
It’s been 8 hours now, he hasn’t come back - I sort of strangely miss him. There’s a void in my brain now, which was filled with Raj’s thoughts – they are gone now, I am relieved and depressed at the same time.
I hear the doors open with Raj unlocking the front door to let himself in. He’s back !
I instinctively go and bite on his left cheek and start suckling, just like he did with me.
We can no longer read each other’s thoughts.