What do you think darkness is? Could It be evil? Or is it simply a fear some have.
No.
I have seen true darkness. It is none of those things.
When I was still christian I always went to church, The hum of arcane like songs would always fill me with warmth as I sat and listened. I was always alone. My family was never christian, But I found faith when my father died. He was a warm man, I loved him. He died of cancer when he was 78. When he died his last words to everyone was “Find faith. I see” And before he could finish the sentence he passed. It was heartbreaking, It sent me into depression for years. But eventually I found the faith he asked us to look for.
I was at church one morning. The hum of the songs putting me to a trans like state as I listened. “You all shall be condemned for thou-“ The person speaking cut off. I shook my head snapping back, Everyone was looking at me. At first I didn’t understand till I felt 2 drops of liquid hit my leg. I had been crying. I looked around at everyone staring daggers at me and spat out a response to the silent cacophony of slight fear. “S-Somethings in my eye.. S-sorry” I sputtered out the reply as I sat in eternal shame.
People turned back around, The sound of shuffling seats overcoming the hum of the song. Something about that song.. I Couldn’t place my finger on it. As I made it home I was pondering about it.. Nothing had flown in my eye, I wasn’t crying on purpose.. But before I could continue my wife walked into the kitchen. She held a glass of wine. She saw my face and looked a bit worried. “Something wrong?” She said, the clear tone of her voice stating she knew something was making me ponder. Again being bathed in eternal shame I replied “Nothing honey.. Just thinking” She knew i was lying but said nothing.
As I went to bed I tried to forget what happened, But I couldn’t. I fell asleep after an hour or so, Being exhausted that is.
When I woke up I felt terrible. It was as if the plague itself had consumed me. I shuffled to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. The warm liquid hit my mouth and I almost vomited. The liquid was bitter, Terrible. It tasted of death. I poured it out, Knowing I had to go to church in an hour. And so I got ready. As I finished getting dressed. I went for my shoes when I noticed something. The pants I had cried on.. Weren’t dried. As in the tears still lay wet on my left thigh. I looked at it and thought maybe it was just fade and not liquid. I touched it, My cold fingers fondling the rough jeans. And I felt it.
It was like touching ice, The liquid was so cold it almost made me jump back in fear. I didn’t understand, How was this possible? But then as if time had jumped, I was in church. I had no memory of getting in my car or even taking my hands off those jeans, Yet I was here. I immediately thought I had hallucinated, Or lived a day ahead and I was still in church. Till the song played. It was different and the trans started.
Once more I sat not moving as the soft hum of the arcane like voices played. It was like angels. That’s when I heard it. Audible loud gasps. Someone tapped my shoulder and i escaped the trans. That’s when I saw the mans face, It was like the face of death, Scared, Fearful. Then I felt my cheek and looked at my fingers. Blood sat on my fingers. And that was the last I remembered before I blacked out.
I saw darkness. I was blacked out but could still see.
Then a massive spark of light flashed. At first I didn’t know what I was looking at. Till the clouds faded. There I stood at a massive gate. It was a shiny yellow metal. The shimmer of the light radiated off it like a star. I caught myself looking at it till the gates swung open. The creaking alerting me and making snap out of staring at this shine. I hesitated to walk through till a loud voice boomed, the echo being louder then anything i have ever heard. “Come forth my child.” Before i could even think my body did it for me, I took a stride through and my mind immediately felt at peace. The sound of heavenly angelic like singing sounded as I looked around. I heard these booming footsteps. The ground literally shook as this massive figure approached. He boasted a massive white beard, His large white Greek like robe hung around his waist and flailed down like a windy day in the forest. Then I saw his face. He had a weird smile, the lips seemed more slanted and discolored compared to his body. His ears sat at random colors, His left being a more tan and the right being more lighter. But the worst part. He had no eyes, All that sat where empty slanted sockets. I stared in disbelief as he spoke.
“I am god. I am the ruler of this beloved kingdom known as Heaven. And you are the one I chose for a task.” I stood there terrified as he continued “Very few of your kind exist. The ones that find faith in me so strong they do anything to attain it. And i have chosen you for a job so important humanity relies on it” I stood there and he stared at me. “W-What is the task” I said genuinely fearful. “You fear me. But do not worry. You see faith so strong it is your whole life by now. I want that.” He then took a step towards me as he lifted me, He was maybe 30 feet tall.
“Humanity has existed as my creation for thousands of years. Since then you have worshiped me as your god.” I gulped, The lump in my throat lay so large it was almost choking me.
“I however am not complete as a god. And i need the right people to help me attain my ability to hold you all as humans.” I immediately looked around, I wasn’t expecting this to be god. That’s when the sound of a warp sounded and 2 massive hideous eyeballs popped up behind me. I couldn’t see them but my mind showed me as if it knew. “You see what i cant.” He said as it started to click.
“I need your eyes. Or the fate of humanity will not be seen and therefore the faith will be lost.”
I stared in shock as he said this. My mind couldn’t process this. Then god smiled at me. And looking back at me were a pair of shiny white teeth I recognized. They were.. My fathers teeth. The pearly white surface stared back and i saw myself in the mirror. This thing was a monster. And the aura of darkness started to envelope.
But before I could retaliate my hands reached up and started to claw at my face. Before I knew it, I couldn’t see. My eyes were gone. I was in absolute fear. There was no pain, At least physically. And then I snapped back to reality. I couldn’t see. The doctors quickly told me what had happened, The news making me and my wife break down.
“Mr. Kenwood. You have suffered an extremely rare condition called Autoimmune Retinopathy, It is where your immune system discovers your eyes and because they have seperate immune system, It causes you to go blind eratically.” I broke down sobbing, Not for the fact i was blind, But for what i had seen.
Its been 8 years now and i still don’t understand what i saw. I am having my nurse write this as i lay in my deathbed, Whether you believe this or not. Do not find faith. Because faith might find something in you to take.