“What can I get for you sir?”
I believe those were the first words I said to him. He was a frail and skinny man. The kind of person that could be picked up by a strong wind and sent into the upper atmosphere. He hastily scanned the menu, eyes almost popping out of their sockets. They stopped over the Big Breakfast. He slid a bony finger over the printed text to indicate his choice. He didn’t blink once.
“The Big Breakfast. Excellent!” I chimed.
It was really quite the opposite. The cooks were going to hate receiving this order. It was the biggest item on the menu and we had only just started doing all day breakfast. I doubted he’d get through it all. In a hope to get him to reconsider I stated what was included.
“Three waffles, two cheese kranskys, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, with a mega side of bacon and scrambled eggs?”
He didn’t say anything. In fact he was yet to say something. He simply nodded and remained pointing at the item. Strange. You always get at least one loose unit per shift.
There was a collective groan amongst the two cooks as I slid the docket up. Usually Tuesday nights are quiet and we like to keep it that way as much as possible. We can be lazy workers sometimes. Then again, the bullshit of hospitality really isn’t worth the effort.
“That’ll give you something to do over the last four hours!”
Jimmy was always an enthusiastic manager. Sometimes overbearingly so. It did at least make the shifts go quicker and on this particular evening we needed it. We were open until midnight. I don’t know why the head office had us serving that late, especially since we hardly ever had customers beyond dinner. However the pay was significantly better the later it got, making it that little bit more tolerable.
Jimmy peered out of the kitchen and observed our single customer. He turned to me.
“Did our friend here want any drinks?”
“No. Just the food. Wasn’t really much of a talker.” I explained.
Jimmy and myself looked back at the man. He sat rigidly, staring straight ahead as if in a trance. No clanging of metal from the kitchen would stir him to observe his surroundings.
“Gosh these hours always bring out the weird creatures”
I chuckled at Jimmy’s remark. He turned around to the kitchen staff and raised his voice for all to hear.
“They also bring up the wages. I think I’m going to have to start sending some people home.”
There were four of us working that night. Myself, Jimmy and the two cooks. I knew I was safe from being sent home early as I had been employed fairly recently. My wage was cheap as chips in comparison to some of the other “higher-ranked” employees.
One of the cooks nominated himself to leave. I think he’d recently become a father or something and wanted to get home to his kid. He punched out and disappeared into the night. Then there were three.
Fifteen minutes later a bell chimed. Food was up. I put down the wine glasses I had been polishing and whisked the meal over to our strange customer.
As I placed the meal in front of him I realised I hadn’t provided cutlery. Before I could apologise the man lunged into the food, grabbing and tearing at pieces with his hands. I had to stifle a laugh which formed out of pure shock. He continued shoving the food into his mouth like a wild animal. I composed myself.
“Sir, would you like me to get you a knife and fork?”
He ignored me and continued devouring a sausage. I scanned the table for a hidden camera or a phone pointed my way. I assumed my reaction could be getting filmed as some prank for the internet. That was the only logical explanation I could think of this uncanny behaviour. Much to my confusion, there was nothing.
I returned to the kitchen, still slightly aghast, still silently processing. I told Jimmy and the remaining cook what had just occurred. They peered over to catch a glimpse but he was already done. The show was over. Disappointed he’d missed out on the very little entertainment this job provides, Jimmy sent me back over to clear the plates.
I was a little nervous walking back to his table. The stranger seemed to not be all there mentally and I didn’t really want to interact with him anymore. I mean, he hadn’t said anything but I still had this feeling churning inside of me. Like I sensed something unnatural.
“How was everything?” I asked.
Once again he gave me nothing. I noticed his plate had been licked clean. I reached over to begin clearing it. He jolted forward and snatched my wrist. I didn’t even have time to react. We locked eyes. His hand was freezing. Raising an index finger he pointed towards the menu. It landed on the Big Breakfast once more. Words nervously escaped my mouth.
“Would you like another one?”
He nodded slowly and released his grip. An unwelcoming smile climbed up his face, its lines disappeared into deep dimples. His eyes flicked back to their blank stare. No longer recognising my presence.
I paced back to the kitchen and flung the docket up above the hot plate. I wanted to find Jimmy and tell him about the unwanted grabbing of the weird customer but he seemed to be missing. Probably in his office sorting out this week’s wages. I braced myself for an annoyed remark from the remaining cook. He looked at it for a beat before opening his mouth.
“Gosh this fella is hungry!”
George was the cook’s name. He had been working at the joint since the early days and had his methods down to a tee. He immediately began squeezing the scrambled egg mixture into a sizzling pan. I knew it wasn’t my fault but I felt the urge to apologise for the stranger’s additional order.
“Sorry George, he doesn’t look it, but this customer has the appetite of a hippo”
“Nah, don’t stress it bud. More than happy to be earning that late night coin.”
“Oh, are you an expensive hire?”
“The most expensive!” George laughed.
“I’ve been here so long that I’ve worked my way to the top of the pay ranks. Got myself a pretty good deal from the old management. I know the new owners hate it, they’d fire me if they could, but they don’t have enough trained staff in the kitchen. Plus…”
George skilfully threw three waffles onto the hot plate as he talked.
“Contract says I can’t be fired for being good at my job.”
Within a matter of minutes the second Big Breakfast was served up. I made sure to bring cutlery over to the table this time but it made no difference. The stranger chowed down the meal ferociously with his bare hands…just like before. He violently gnashed the mushed egg beneath his teeth which crunched alongside the crisp bits of waffle.
The wet smacking of his lips was unbearable. I immediately retreated back to the kitchen and stayed there. When the time came for me to collect his plate a feeling of dread rose in my chest. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Once again the plate had been licked clean but this time the man was already pointing at the same spot on the menu. I sighed.
“Another one?”
He nodded.
Over the remaining hours of the shift I must have served him over ten plates of the Big Breakfast. I felt incredibly bad for George, who despite his skill level, was struggling to meet the customer’s consistent demands. It was insane. We only had one customer but it felt like a busy Sunday morning at the rate he was eating. Each time I approached the customer his appearance became more and more revolting. His hands glistened under the down lights, malaised in grease and maple syrup. Sauce dribbled down his chin and pooled into a puddle on the table. I will never understand how a man of that size could consume so much.
At 12am, Jimmy finally made an appearance from his office. It was closing time and George and myself were more than ready to put this shift behind us. The customer still sat at his table, drenched in his mess. We explained what had happened in great detail but Jimmy seemed unconcerned. In fact he seemed slightly content with the news.
“Well the profit targets are going to look amazing!” he joked.
Neither George or I could relate to his optimism. Jimmy must have read the look on our faces. He turned to me and changed his tone.
“Alright mate, you can go home. Thanks for tonight.”
“What about me?” Chimed George.
Jimmy pointed towards me.
“He’s working early tomorrow George. I just need you to quickly close up the kitchen.”
George wasn’t satisfied with this answer.
“I’m working tomorrow morning too! I’ve got to open!”
“Just a quick clean up George. C’mon, you’re earning a lottery by the hour.”
Jimmy’s response was quick and stern. I’d never seen that side of him before. George banged a pan against the stove with frustration. Ignoring his outburst, Jimmy turned back to me.
“You can go now mate, cheers”
As I threw on my coat and walked down the restaurant aisle I passed the customer. He was still here. The man chuckled to himself whilst holding his blank stare. I should’ve kept walking…but the shock of the shift had me fired up.
“We’ve closed now sir. We’re going to have to ask you to pay and leave”
I almost spat the words and immediately regretted it. The man snapped his head towards me and uttered his first and only words.
“The entree is done. Now time for the main.”
He giggled and returned to his vacant expression. I didn’t really know what he meant by “the main” but I wasn’t going to find out. I drove a little faster on the way home that evening.
When I sluggishly strolled into the kitchen the following morning, I noticed there was no sign of George. Instead Jimmy stood over the hot plate, lathering it with oil in preparation for the morning rush. He looked towards me and beamed.
“Morning mate! Sleep well?”
“Where’s George?” I blurted.
Jimmy’s eyebrows dropped.
“He wasn’t too happy about last night mate and well…he quit”
“He quit?”
“Yeah I know. Shame to see him go. Extremely unprofessional to just walk out like that.”
Jimmy scraped the surface of the metal plate with a spatula.
“Not to worry though mate, he was really expensive. We’re gonna get you into the kitchen now! How’s that for fun?”
My mind was struggling to keep up with everything. Nothing sounded right. George didn’t seem like the guy to do that. Not after all the years he’d been at the restaurant.
“What about the customer?” I asked
“Hmmm?”
“The customer last night. Did he pay?
The spatula scratched the plate with an awful screech.
“Oh yeah! He said the meal was awesome and your service was excellent!”
My brain was hurting with confusion. I could feel the blood thumping in my skull.
“He actually said that?”
“You bet! Funny you should mention him. I didn’t want to make you nervous last night, but he’s actually from upper management. Technically my boss. Came in for a little inspection and made sure business was good”
Adrenaline shot up my legs. My heart beat like a drum. An eyelid twitched.
My mind raced back to George stating he was an expensive employee. The MOST expensive employee. The result of an old contract from the restaurant’s initial owners. A contract that the current management did not like.
I thought back to the previous night’s customer. Now revealed to be a member of upper management. I thought back to him mentioning that it was “time for the main” as I exited the store. If Jimmy works for him that means…
I don’t think George quit.
Jimmy chuckled before continuing.
“And let me tell you mate, business is fucking good.”