Save me your lectures. Yes, I know it was a stupid idea. I had no other option, okay? I am sane enough to realize it’s a horrible idea to speak to someone who people consider evil incarnate. Yes, I had read about the risks before doing it. I’m an idiot, not suicidal. All the edgy websites discussing the red goat warned me about losing my soul if I didn’t follow the steps correctly. Even the wikiHow tutorial I watched warned me about it. Why are there even tutorials for things like that, anyway? I didn’t care too much about those warnings, though. After all, I already sold my soul to a different entity a while back. It’s a long story, one I might save for another time.
I should also probably mention not to do anything of this at home if you value your sanity. Not like you will listen, though, so do what you want. Don’t come crying that I didn’t warn you if your soul is no longer your own property. Anyway, let me tell you about my lovely talk with Lucifer and how this involves a danger to the entirety of the human race.
It all started when my daughter passed away from an illness. You probably expect me to be devastated by this. I truly was. You see, she still owed me some good money. How would I get that all back if she was dead? I asked around, trying to reclaim the cash that was rightfully mine, but all I got were some stupid remarks. Look, I don’t need some bank employee to tell me I’m a terrible father. I’m perfectly capable of realizing that myself, thank you very much. She apparently made some arrangements with my ex-wife to ensure that woman got everything, leaving nothing for me. There was seemingly nothing I could do to get the cash back, so I searched for some unconventional ways to make her pay up.
Eventually, I found a tutorial on a ritual to summon the devil. It seemed easy enough and would apparently give me the right to three wishes. I didn’t know Lucifer’s soul-trading business was going so poorly he needed to substitute for a jinn, but oh well. It was annoying that I could only try it once, but that part makes sense. He could just give you endless wishes from the start if you could repeat this ritual every night.
So, I went shopping. All I needed was a large standing mirror, a round table, five candles, preferably black, and some pig blood. It took some googling to find out where to buy the blood, but I eventually found a bottle that seemed big enough. After collecting everything, I sat around until three in the morning. I honestly believed the 3 AM thing to be a hoax set up by those cringy clickbait YouTubers. It apparently mattered when talking to the devil, who would have thought? A few minutes before time, I drew a sizeable pentagram with pig blood on the concrete floor of my garage. I luckily had plenty of space as I don’t own a car. I placed the mirror opposite where I would sit in my chair and placed the table on the pentagram. I made sure not to smudge it, as I didn’t want to risk the devil being upset with my inability to draw a simple shape. I placed the candles atop the table and opened two bottles of liquor.
I took out my lighter once the alarm on my phone went off, signaling it was time. I started an audio recorder to ensure I didn’t forget anything. I cut some of the boring and awkward small-talk out but have written most of what happened here. I lit the candles clockwise, starting with the one pointing at the mirror. “I summon you, Lucifer. I have come for a game of wish granting. I hope you come join me for a drink while we speak.” I recited the words from the tutorial as well as I could before closing my eyes. “Didn’t you have anything stronger?” A voice called out, signaling the devil had arrived. I opened my eyes again before staring in the mirror. My reflection smirked back at me, which wouldn’t have been odd, were it not for the fact that I wasn’t smiling. “Sorry if it isn’t to your liking. I drank most of it while waiting for a certain someone to arrive. You know, most sane people are asleep at this time?” My reflection rolled its eyes at my remark. “You know, most sane people don’t play around with demonic rituals.” It had a fair point.
“So, Joshua, how’s life?” the devil asked, grabbing the glass and taking a sip. As he did, some of the liquid in the bottle opposite me disappeared. “Probably shit. You wouldn’t have set up this dumb game if it was going fine,” he added with a shrug. “Let’s get started with your first wish. What is it?” I took a sip from my beer before answering. “I want you to bring my daughter back to life.” The words left my lips with tremendous difficulty. “You know she hates you, right? Do you honestly think she will give you the money back just because you tore her soul back from hell?” It was the counterpart of the wish-granting. Lucifer would try his best to create doubt in your head. A wish will not come true if you take it back because of his words. The catch is that you can’t redo that wish, of course. Something to note is that Lucifer always speaks the truth when trying to revoke your wish. No dumb things with him tricking you, just warnings from the ‘kindness of his heart.’ “You know, Joshua, it’s kind of sad how you resort to necromancy just to get a few thousand bucks back. Couldn’t think of another way to settle it?” The words didn’t do anything to me.
“My second wish is that she will give me back everything she owes me.” My reflection burst out into laughter. “Great job. She will hate you even more when you do that. Wasn’t ruining her chances of a decent future enough? You know it’s your fault that she couldn’t get into the university she wanted, right? If only you had a job that paid above minimum wage, maybe Ellie could have become a splendid doctor. I know she would have. It’s truly a waste of talent, all because you couldn’t help pay her tuition.” My reflection grabbed his beer and took another swig. I knew he was right. I prepared to deal with his words but did not expect this. I know I’m an idiot for not anticipating something like this, but I just figured he wouldn’t resort to something like that. “Is that money that much of a deal to you? If you let her keep it, she might get another chance to enter her dream school, you know? Wouldn’t any parent want that for their child?” I nodded without thinking.
“Well, that’s settled. I will revoke your second wish,” Lucifer boomed. My eyes shot up. I wanted to protest but knew it was futile. I had no idea what to ask for a third wish. Endless riches and such didn’t appeal to me. Life would just be boring if I could have anything I wished for, after all. As such, I asked something that seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. Spoiler; it wasn’t. It was, in fact, a worse idea than throwing some rocks at an armed officer and calling them names. “Show me how the world will end.” Lucifer grinned and leaned onto the table. “Are you sure that you want to know? Existential dread is already an ass as is, and you want to add to that? I won’t stop you. Just know that it’s a horrible idea.” I foolishly believed him to lie, forgetting one of the rules. “Sure, show me.” Those were the last words I spoke before the game ended. To my surprise, Lucifer spoke a bit more after I disappeared from our realm. “I warned you, didn’t I? Don’t come crying to me whenever you listen back to this.”
I wish I had listened to his warning. I stood in a derelict city devoid of any human life. The devil stood beside me, still hiding his actual shape from me. “Welcome to your city a few years in the future. Quite lovely, isn’t it?” Lucifer took a sip from the beer he still held in his hand. “What on earth happened?” I asked him. “The end of the world, of course. You should take one of these. Humans don’t do well with radioactivity.” Lucifer handed me a clicking device. “That’s a Geiger counter. The more annoying it is, the more fucked you are. Do you hear those clicks? That’s radiation.” He explained after seeing that I didn’t know what it was. “Radiation?” I repeated. “Yes, radiation. Let’s go back a few years. You clearly don’t understand what happened.” I hate the tone he used, but he was right. The ground shook for a moment before the skyscrapers rebuilt themselves. “Now, pay close attention,” Lucifer told me, pointing to one of the giant screens.
“Dear people of this beautiful nation, I regret to inform you that nuclear war is inevitable at this point. Our enemy has struck with a violent attack on several cities. Thousands of innocent lives were lost. We have no choice but to respond with a fierce fist. Please go to the nearest bunker in case of retaliation.” The president stated. The message repeated itself over and over. “Of course, we won’t go to the bunkers. We won’t be able to see how it all plays out if we do, after all,” Lucifer explained as he grabbed me by the collar, holding me in my place.
“You wished to see it end, so will stay to see it end. Don’t worry. Even if you die here, you will be fine in the real world. Probably.” The creature took a final swig of his bottle before throwing it at the back of someone’s head. “He won’t, though,” he added with a childish chuckle. We stood on the street for a few minutes before the sirens started. I looked up to see a bright yellow star shine through the sky before it grew bigger. A roar filled the air as it disappeared, followed by a massive shockwave. I felt the heat tear at my skin before I woke up in the chair. The burn marks remained.
“And that’s how the world ends. Sorry for those marks, by the way. Just consider them a reminder of what will happen.” Lucifer sat in the chair opposite me. I don’t mean in the mirror but in the flesh. “Thanks for the game, Joshua. I enjoyed this one. Well then, time to collect your debt, don’t you agree?” the devil added before standing up and leaving the room. “Don’t worry, I’ll go back to hell with the break of dawn. I don’t get to walk around your world that often, and I need a vacation, too.”
So, that’s it. We’re doomed. We’re the only animal that caused our own extinction. Maybe not yet, but the future is bleak. Lucifer didn’t lie. Everything he said about my daughter is correct, so why would he lie about our future? All I can pray for is for somebody to ignore my earlier warning and play this game and wish this future away.