The fortune teller had told me that this year would be very unlucky for me, with—I still recall her wrinkling her crooked old nose—six near-death experiences. ‘However,’ adding a dramatic pause for effect, ‘you’ll survive 2022, eventually. That’s all that matters, right?’
She looked dead serious at the time. I had nodded, smiling, and I paid her and got out of there as fast as I could. Then I had posted my encounter on my blog, which some of you may have seen, and I was glad to see most of my readers didn’t believe this shit either. As the new year came, I slowly forgot about this strange fortune teller.
At least, that was until I had a car accident in mid-February. It was really, really bad. I had fractured bones everywhere and the doctor said I got lucky, or I would have died on impact. That was my first near-death experience. I only remembered the fortune teller when one of the commenters mentioned it on my update post. I was still skeptical at that point though.
Then, during March, when my wounds from the car accident had just almost finished healing, I got COVID. Well, sure, a lot of people got COVID this year, but it seemed worse for me. I remember having difficulty breathing at one point, and I was even sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. Eventually, I did get better, but that left me wondering, was it really a coincidence, just my bad luck, or was my fate actually already written?
In May, while I was walking on the street, a flowerpot fell from above me and landed at my feet. I looked up to see an old lady repeatedly making apologetical gestures, her face pale. If I had been one step to the right, I would have died immediately. Although it was merely a matter of a few seconds, it left an unpleasant aftertaste in my mind. What else would I go through this year?
Three months gone by without anything significant happening. I was almost relieved, until at the end of August, I had a heart attack and was sent to hospital. I have a weak heart, it’s a thing from birth, but this sudden attack was so serious it completely caught me off guard. Fortunately, the doctors managed to save me in time.
Then, during October, while I was driving home during the night, the brakes of my car just stopped working suddenly, and I was travelling at about 50 miles per hour. Unable to slow down or stop, my car just continued moving straight until it turned over and fell into the town’s local lake with me in it. I was barely able to open the door and swim out of there. This incident did get me a lot of likes on my blog and YouTube videos though.
Now it’s December 31, and I’m sitting here, doing this livestream, and I’m somehow feeling happy and anxious at the same time. The sixth incident hasn’t happened… yet. It’s, uhh, 9:40 p.m. right now, and I’m safe and comfortable in my study, telling my story, talking to you guys. I don’t know whether something’s gonna happen in the next three hours, but I’m hoping that ol’ lady made a mistake. I could use a peaceful and quiet last day…’
CRASH
‘Woah guys, wait up… you guys hear that? A loud crash just came from next door… well I wonder what they broke, huh?’ There’s a moment of silence. I read the stream chat and see that my audience is having mixed reactions about that noise, some expressing concern, some telling me that it was nothing to worry about.
‘Well, this stream would be real boring if we sat here and did nothing, so let’s play some CS:GO! I’ll be choosing some of you from the chat to team with me, yeah? Just watch me hard carry this match…’
.
.
‘And that’s another match won!’ I looked at the stream of pog faces in the chat with pride. ‘One more match, and we can do our countdown for the new yea-‘
There was a blood curdling scream from next door.
I jumped. Before I was able to regain my senses, the lights went out.
‘Holy shit.’ I muttered under my breath. My heart was thumping fast in my chest, and I was sweating. ‘This is the last one, isn’t it? A burglar?’
I turned back to my computer, only to realize the stream was still running somehow. The burglar had turned off the lights but not the power? I went to try the light switch, but it didn’t work. That was weird.
‘Um, guys? I don’t know what’s happening right now, but uh, I think someone broke in my neighbor’s room. I think no one’s home, though.’ I half-whispered.
A message popped up through a donation, which I thanked the person for it, and read the message out loud. ‘Well the fact that the burglar had entered the other house instead of yours is probably a near-death experience, considering he’s armed and you don’t have to confront him. Yeah I hope that’s the case man. To be safe though, I’ll barricade the doors and get something to defend myself, yeah I think that’s pretty smart.’
I moved my bed over to block the door. Then, from under my bedside table, I took out the knife that I had taped there, in case of emergencies. Then I went back to in front of my computer and sat there, listening to what happened in the next room.
There was the vague sound of rummaging through stuff, and the occasional sound of something crashing. Upon hearing that, I immediately picked up my phone and called the police. Then, abruptly, all went quiet in the other house.
I looked at my computer’s taskbar. 11:42 p.m.
The year wasn’t over yet.
Funny how I believed every word the fortune teller had said now.
The next sound I heard made a chill run up my spine. It was the sound of a door creaking. My door.
Fuck. How the hell? I think to myself, only to remember that I’d leave my spare key under a flowerpot. All the burglar had to do was get to my garden from my neighbor’s house, then look under the flowerpot.
I held my breath as I heard the stairs creak. On the livestream, I could see that my audience was also nervous. There was no reason to end the stream, as that would just be disappointing, and this stream would also work as a good popularity boost.
The footsteps stopped. Outside my door. I’d moved my computer’s camera to face the door, so the footage could be used as proof against the burglar. I clasped my knife in both hands, waiting, watching for his next move.
There was a bang on the door. My door shook, and I feared that it would come down anytime soon.
Then there was another bang. And another. But the bangs were getting slower each time. My bed was doing a good job keeping the door closed. Eventually, the banging stopped. At least, for a moment. There was a huge crash from outside my house. Then silence.
It was 11:51 p.m.
Was it all over? I lower my knife and go back to my computer to check on the stream. The viewer count had almost doubled, and the chat was blowing up, some people worried and anxious, some saying that it was staged.
‘Guys, it’s quiet now… I hope the police arrive soon. But I think I’m saf-‘
There was a loud noise from the window. I spun around, only to hear the sound of glass shattering. What I saw next was terrifying.
A long limb lay itself on my windowsill. My legs turned to melted butter, and I fell to the ground. I fumbled for my knife and held it in front of me. The creature slowly climbed up, until the entirety of it was in my room. It was something out of this world. A human-like figure, but with eight eyes and mandibles on its face. The lower half of its body weren’t human legs, but long and hairy, resembling a spider’s. I snuck a glance at my livestream, and to my horror, there was nothing on screen. Just me, holding a knife, scared shitless.
11:53.
A thought occurred to me amidst my fear; if the fortune teller was right, which until now, she was always right, this would only be a near-death experience for me, the final one before 2022 ended. But what mattered is that I would survive 2022. I could hear her voice by my ear. That’s all that matters, right?
With that thought in my mind, I seemed to regain a bit of courage. I climbed to my feet, knife in hand. The creature rushed at me, and its speed completely caught me off guard. Before I knew it, it had sent me flying with one quick swing of its limb, making me almost fly out the broken window. I happened to look down, and I saw a police car on the road, but it was crushed to pieces. So that was where the huge crash had come from.
‘If I could get it dash past me, it could go falling down… perhaps that could kill it or at least harm it,’ I thought to myself. Without time for any second thought, the creature came dashing at me again, its eight eyes staring right at me. I tried evading it, but to no avail; it caught me with its limb and threw me back into my room. I felt a rush of pain in my right leg, and looked down to see blood gushing out. I’d been bitten.
I tried climbing to my feet again, but the pain prevented me from doing so. I gripped my knife even tighter than before, and pointed it at the spider creature. It closed in on me slowly, and it seemed to sense my fear, as its eyes seemed to be gleaming in triumph.
And I saw my chance to attack. Fingers crossed, I hurled my knife at its head. It was a direct hit on its eyes. The creature screeched in pain. Blue blood spewed out from the wound, and to my joy, it turned and escaped through where it had come from.
Breathing in relief, I crawled over to my phone and dialed 911, but there was no reception. I glanced at my computer screen. The stream had disconnected. I wasn’t sure when that had happened. Why had everything suddenly gone down at once? In my bewilderment, I looked out the window, or what was left of it. What I saw shocked me.
There were lots of spider creatures on the street, wreaking havoc. Cars crushed, trees fallen, they tried to eat anything they could. I heard screams from the street, and saw people getting eaten or carried away by the creatures—some of them were still alive and screaming for help, others already dismembered and eaten. The hurt creature was gone.
Now I’m writing this down as fast as I can. I’m feeling really drowsy, and I’m going to fall asleep anytime soon, but I have to finish this; the narrative of a start of an apocalypse. What a way to start 2023. Fortunately, that old lady was actually right. Six near-death experiences, but I survived. And next year will undoubtedly be a tough year, I just hope we all get through this. Together.
And look, it’s 12a.m.! Happy New Year! I survived 2022! I’ve wrapped up the part where I’ve just been bitten already, and all the creatures seem to be gone, I can’t see them from my window no more. I’m feeling so drowsy after all those scary sights, I need to get some rest. So to you all fellow survivors who read this, good luck in 2023. Good night.