When I got back from work I was greeted by a familiar, sad look coming from my fuzzy roommate’s eyes.
It’s just me boy - I smiled wearily, as I saw my dog approach me seemingly excited, but a little less so than usual. I took a glance at his water bowl, topped it off and grabbed a leash without taking my shoes off.
Our usual route took us through a few mostly empty streets and down to a local park. Lately I rather enjoy the typical autumn-gloom that causes depression in so many others. Perhaps it’s because it feels quite fitting and familiar to me now. I tossed a few sticks, we scared a few ducks, and before I knew it, it was quite dark - due to budget cuts, the street lights were only lit sparingly, one in every two or three.
As we made our way back home, both tired, my dog pricked his ears as if he heard something behind us, stopped, turned around and started wagging his tail excitingly, looking at nothing in particular it would seem. It took a few moments before I was able to get him to follow me as we made our way home - it wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him act this way, dogs see the craziest things I guess.
I locked the doors behind me, put the leash on a small metal hanger and started on some dinner for the both of us. First I took the bag of dog food and measured out a little less than the recommended dose, my pupper was getting a little heavier than he should be. Smiling as I saw him devour the portion hungrily, I began working on some human food - the usual two packets of rice into a saucepan, a bit of chicken frying off, spiced it all up heavily with pepper, added frozen vegetables and started portioning it out. Right after I put half of it onto the first plate, I realised my mistake and switched the second plate for a plastic container for tomorrow’s lunch.
While putting away utensils into a dishwasher I heard a bit of noise, like someones putting away a toothbrush in the bathroom. I made my way towards the doors, and seeing no light underneath it, clicked the switch and opened them. It wasn’t very surprising nobody was there, though when I turned around I saw a furry head tilted slightly and staring into the dark room.
- Come on, time to sleep - I scratched behind those funny little ears and started getting ready for bed.
Lying there in the darkness, a slight warmth was radiating from the pretzel-like shape that nested itself near my legs. I could hear it’s soft breathing and a slight whimper so I put in my headphones and turned on a random podcast, hoping to have it serve as a white noise equivalent, preventing me from hearing my own thoughts. It seemed to do the trick, I was very nearly asleep when I heard it, a little giggle. My eyes opened wide, not quite sure if it was a part of the podcast, or something out on the street, I tried looking around in nigh complete darkness, but couldn’t see anything for the first couple seconds. Eventually my pupils got a little more used to the lack of light, and I could’ve sworn I could see someone sitting at the edge of the bed, with a hand buried in the fur coat of my pet. I jolted, and half jumped, half crawled to my night table, a small bulb illuminated the room with pleasant yellowish light. Of course I saw nothing, except for a very confused and very sleepy dog, that really didn’t care for my midnight antics. Sighing heavily, I turned the light off and tried falling asleep again, but without much success.
In the cold light of the morning sun, a new day arose, not much different to the previous one, with the one exception of it being a Saturday. A fresh cup of coffee filled my kitchen with a pleasant aroma, and as I pondered what to have for breakfast, I put away the second empty cup back into a cabinet drawer. I figured that we might take a small hike, given that there’s no forecast of rain today.
As I got into my car, I turned on some tunes, and started singing along to one of my favourites, but was cut off with a sharp ding-sound of a song being skipped. - damn radio - I thought to myself and continued driving until I reached a small clearing that served as a parking lot before a short, but very pretty trail. There was nobody parked there just yet, a little too early and too cold for the majority of visitors. Leash in hand, backpack with some water and snacks on my back, we set off, walking at a brisk pace, enjoying the crisp autumn air that you could really feel in your teeth when taking a breath.
I sure love being out here, surrounded by quiet, with just 6 legs cracking dry leaves. After a couple kilometres we made our first stop, I shared a sandwich because I couldn’t bare the begging eyes glued to my every movement as I ate.
Then I heard a crackle, and something that sounded like a few steps heading towards me. I grabbed the leash a bit tighter, expecting it might just be a wild animal of sorts, and the longer I peered into the dense shrubbery, the more unnerved I felt. I heard a few more noises, including a giggle coming from behind, so I turned around quickly, and saw nothing, again. Then I looked down because I felt a tail wag hitting my shin - I know they say dogs don’t smile, but my dog just smiled at me, and then continued to look somewhere in the distance, wagging it’s tail and smelling around furiously as if to catch a fleeting aroma of something very pleasant. Needless to say, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, but I didn’t feel like continuing to walk in the woods anymore, so we made our way back to my car.
Back home, we killed a bit of time watching tv, some show I never really liked but made for a good background noise now. As it started to get dark again, I felt tired and turned off the tv. This is when I caught a glimpse of someone sitting next to me in the reflection of the dark screen. Heart racing I turned my head so quick I heard a crack in my neck, but of course - nobody there. Shaken a bit more, I got up and started walking around my apartment nervously trying to calm myself down. I’m a rational person, so I tried explaining everything that happened in the last few days with normal phenomena.
With a lot of doubt in the back of my head I made my way to bed, with the same ritual as usual, making sure there’s enough space for my dog, getting on the left side of the bed myself, putting my headphones in.
It wasn’t until I was almost asleep as I heard the giggle again, but this time I didn’t jump up. A few moments later I felt a soft touch on my back, and a bit of pressure on my hair as she stroked it.
I really miss her. I miss how she didn’t like some of my favourite songs and skipped them every time. I miss how she would giggle in her sleep, or when she got tickled by our dogs fur. I miss her going to bed earlier than me and occupying the bathroom beforehand.
I know we both miss her, but I think it took me a little bit longer to notice she’s not quite gone.
I think I’m being haunted, but I would give everything I have for it to never stop.