Im not sure what to do here. I feel so conflicted. Am I going crazy?
Me and my boyfriend met a year ago online. I was instantly charmed by his sense of humour and quick thinking. My boyfriend doesn’t have many friends or family. So we’ve become very close over the year.
Whenever we would text he would always tell me how sweet I am and how beautiful I look. He always had a thing for my body. He admires me and tells me I have the most beautiful skin and eyes he’s ever seen. When he looks at me it feels intense. Like he really just can’t stop staring at me until I make him snap out of it.
The past three months have been off. Whenever we would playfight he would always pretend to shoot me and I would play dead. Then he would come in and give me kisses until I started laughing. He really enjoys kissing my body but a few times it escalated to him gently biting me. I told him to stop because I didn’t like that. He backed off and got quiet and upset.
Well those few months ago he found a new job as a cleaner. The pay isn’t great but he’s gone through some hard times and I support his ability to work. He started doing shifts from early morning till day. Then he would come home for a few hours and go back till 1-3 am. Whenever he would come home he would tell me to make some latenight dinner for him. He always wanted me to make him different kinds of steaks and write the recipe down so he knows which ones he prefers. I agreed because I know hes very tired.
Whenever he would finally come home and come to bed with me I kept smelling this horrible bleach on him. Like disinfectant and bleach. I told him to take a shower but he insists he did and that the smell just comes from his work.
Well that caused us some fights. I kept asking him why he keeps smelling like bleach after nighttime but not when he does a quick visit at home. I told him it bothers me and makes it hard for me to breathe and he just wouldn’t explain why. I’ve never been to his workplace so I have no idea what goes on in there.
Recently we’ve been trying to connect with eachother again and he just seems off. Whenever we kiss now it doesn’t feel the same. He always tries to bite me and make me “play dead” for a longer time whenever we playfight. He gets mad when I start giggling “too early”. I’ve told him it doesn’t feel nice and one times he even drew blood from me. I screamed because it hurt and I had to go in the ER afterwards to get a vaccine for tetanus. He played it off as “it’s really not that bad”
Well the past two weeks has been rough. He asked me to stop cooking new steak dinners for him because he found his favourite one. Hes been coming home after work and started cooking them himself. He doesn’t let me in the kitchen when he does. So I just stay in bed and wait for him.
I also went on his phone one night he was cooking and found a folder of just random pictures of women. I cried a little because it made me jealous. I can’t believe he would just casually do that. We had a fight and it ended up in him leaving for the night. He told me the pictures aren’t any of my business. Some of the pics were from weird angles with cropped out parts. I also saw he had another folder titled “priondiseases for dummies” but I didn’t have time to click on it. I thought it was weird because he’s not into biology.
One night I had fallen asleep already but woke up to a weird metal sound. I saw he was standing next to me and staring at me. I asked him what he was doing and he just said “nothing” and left the room. He’s been asking me weird questions like “which animal do you think tastes the best” and saying things like “I think we should leave town for a while” out of nowhere. Theyre all just so out of place and random.
Yesterday he asked me if I would like to come to a warehouse with him that he’s cleaning tomorrow. I think he just wants company but I don’t know. It’s late at night. I feel like his beheaviour has just been so off I don’t know what to say. Should I go?