I’m not sure how to start this. See, I’ve always liked Linkin Park. When most people think of them, they think of In the End, or Crawling, or something like that, and they can’t name a single other song. But I’ve listened to them since they were Xero.
Let me get to the story.
Back in 2007, I was so excited to pick up a copy of Minutes to Midnight. So excited, in fact, that I hadn’t slept for three days. I knew this would make it risky to drive, but I didn’t really care. After calling around, I found that the nearest store with the new album was four hours away. This was pretty unusual in case you couldn’t tell. However, I just sucked it up and drove the four hours. Or, at least, I thought I would have to. Just after a few minutes of driving, I saw a yard sale with a white CD case with black details, resembling the cover art of Minutes to Midnight. So I went up to it.
Sure enough, it was Minutes to Midnight. The front of the case was covered with scratches, but as long as the CD wasn’t, that was fine with me.
Someone must have seen me from the window because a man came outside. He greeted me and asked if I wanted to buy it… for two cents. As in, US$0.02; don’t worry, I thought it was weird too.
I went back to my car, grabbed the nearest silver coin I could find: a quarter; unlucky for me because I’m lazy and couldn’t just move one step closer (TO THE EDGE AND I’M ABOUT TO BREAK- i’m not sorry) and grab the two pennies on the other side of the car or at least the dime that was on the dashboard for some reason. Nope, 25 cents for what should have costed me two, and there’s no way I’d wait for him to get 23 cents worth of coins (bold of me to assume he’d even be willing to give change; it would be quite annoying for me to ask for change). I came back out and gave him the quarter, telling him I didn’t want change. He handed me the case and didn’t say another word.
I checked the case to confirm that the CD was even in there and went back to my car.
I drove to my house, went inside, and immediately plugged in my CD player. I opened the case, took out the CD, popped it into the CD drive, and hit play. The first thing I noticed was that the first track sounded like fire burning, which at the time I thought was strange but normal (because it was normal). The next thing I noticed was that the band had started using profanity, something they had never done with the exception of underground albums and whatnot. Not that this was a problem, it was just interesting. But as soon as the 9th track (Valentine’s Day) began playing, a loud static accompanied it. But besides the loud static, it seemed like a normal song. This was odd to me. After the rest of the songs played, I just starting looking down for… well, I don’t really know how long. I must’ve fallen asleep because I suddenly noticed it was light outside; it was twilight before.
Very well, then. So I just went through my morning routine as if I had awoken from my bed and then played the 9th track. This time, the static wasn’t there, but neither were the vocals. I could’ve sworn the vocals were there before. I had even memorized the chorus… for some reason. I found this really strange, as a normal human being would. I kept listening, though, and somewhere between the beginning and the end (look, this was over 16 years ago, what do you expect?) a loud scratching noise started playing, and then it stopped as abruptly as it started.
I never believed in the supernatural, so at the time, I figured there had to be an explanation. It was weird how the owner sold it on the first day the album was released, but there had to be an explanation.
I went into my car and tried to find the house from which I bought the CD. I got to what seemed like the same neighborhood, but I couldn’t find the house (maybe they took the yard sale down; I didn’t pay attention to the house itself so I would’ve drove right past it in this case, or I wasn’t paying attention to the side of the road and completely missed it; highly probable as I have ADHD and I started getting really nauseous on my medication so me and my doctor had been trying to find a medication that worked for me, I was unmedicated at the time so I could barely even listen to someone for five minutes; I have no idea how I got through the entirety of MtM) so I just pulled up to one close enough to it like a total weirdo and knocked on the door. No one answered so I went to the next house and knocked. This time, a very old woman (sorry if you’re reading this) answered. I asked if she knew anything about the CD; I told her how I got it from a house near hers and how it had scratches on the front cover, but I didn’t mention the Valentine’s Day thing. She muttered “hmmm” for a while (at least a good 7 seconds). I didn’t think she’d know anything, but then she said “Yeah, yeah. The Valentine’s Day suicide, right?”
I asked her to elaborate.
“A boy killed himself,” she said. “When his parents found him, the song Valentine’s Day was playing on loop. The CD case was on the player and it was all scratched up as you described.”
None of us said a word after that.
I went into my car and drove home. When I got inside, I realized that I was late for a shift I had today.
I immediately got back into my car and drove to my workplace. I worked at an antique store. But a few seconds after I got inside, something really freaked me out.
The store played music during open hours, and the last one was just about to end. Sure enough, however, the next song was Valentine’s Day. That’s what freaked me out. Obviously I had to just move on with my life so I shrugged it off as a coincidence.
My boss didn’t really care that I was late. She was really chill. We only had one visitor that day. He sold us a key that was about a hundred years old, if not more. The top of the key was shaped like a heart and the bottom of the key was… the key. He didn’t know what it went to. After using the Internet to confirm it existed and verifying its integrity and authenticity, I looked up the average price and found a post stating that it typically went for $300. Our store likes to wait a while before selling things, so I offered $500 so he’d take the deal, and he did.
Later on, my shift ended and I went home. If the 9th track would play properly, I wouldn’t really mind owning a CD owned by someone who committed suicide. Even if it turned out that I’d be haunted by a spirit for the rest of my life, I’d just accept that I was the bearer of the suicide CD. I mean, what could I do? I’ve seen horror movies; getting rid of a cursed object after you’re cursed doesn’t fix it. Burning it might, but I have always had one rule in life: never deface a Linkin Park album. I could run up to some random dude and hit him in the face, eat forty pounds of glass, even commit outright homicide. But I was, and still am, NEVER to deface a Linkin Park album.
I decided to make a post online about it. While some people actually had things to say, most people just posted the lyrics to Valentine’s Day: one person posted the first line, another posted the next, and so on. I posted it somewhere else, and sure enough, it was the same thing.
So I took the CD out of the CD drive (yes, it had just been sitting there), put it back in the case, and put it in a drawer, where it remains to this day.
Since then, I hear the song very often, especially in places where you wouldn’t expect it to be. It’s a song that you wouldn’t normally find everywhere, but I’ve never been able to get away from it. I even heard it in a Walmart once.
Every time I hear the song, the more uncomfortable I feel. It reminds me of that boy. Not just the suicide itself, but why he did it in the first place. He must have had a reason. Things were so bad for him that he couldn’t stand life anymore. And the fact that he set Valentine’s Day on loop before killing himself implies he was trying to send a message. Maybe he was alone. Maybe no one loved him. Maybe he thought no one would ever love him. That no one would be there for him. That no one would say, “Me too.” That he would die alone. That he might as well end it all because no one cared about him anyway. I can only imagine the pain he went through. I wish I could go back in time and tell him that he would find someone. That someone would love him. That someone would need him. That someone would die for him. For some reason, I’ve always felt like was my fault. Like if I had done things differently, he would still be alive today. Even though that doesn’t really make sense, I still feel guilty. Like I’m the one to blame.