Me (f25) and my girlfriend Dabria (f27) have been together for six years and we’ve been happy together the entire time, telling each other everything and never having any reason to believe either of us have been disloyal. She’s always complimented my body and never taken much of an interest in anyone else’s, not even celebrities, despite the fact I’m open with her about celebrity crushes and feel comfortable enough to say a girl across the street is cute. This is the way it has ALWAYS been and neither of us have a problem with that, or so I thought.
This all started a few weeks ago, maybe just over a month ago, when she went out with her friends. This isn’t a rare occurrence for either of us, we both go out with friends often and although it’s usually with each other too, we don’t always go out together. Well, when she came home from her night out a few weeks ago, she brought home a man with her that she’d been to school with years ago and had bumped into whilst she was out. We only recently moved into our house and she loves showing people around, since we had it all renovated and decorated specifically to our tastes. She decided to show him around, but after she went upstairs with him, there seemed to be some faint noises coming from our bedroom. I didn’t suspect anything at first, but they were gone for longer than I’d expected. At some point, I went to the bathroom and when I came back out, Dabria said her friend had just left and she was feeling tired so she was gonna go to bed now. I kissed her goodnight and told her I’d be up in a minute.
When I came upstairs, the bedsheets had been changed and the washing machine was already turned on with the old ones inside of it. They weren’t dirty, they’d only been put on a couple of days ago, so I didn’t understand why she’d decided to wash them. I also noticed a pair of socks on the floor sort of half under the bed that I know neither of us owned, and were definitely men’s socks. Both of us are quite feminine, so I knew there was only one explanation.
This has continued the past few weeks, with her bringing people home that she met whilst she was out or bumped in to, showing them around upstairs, then deciding she’s tired and going to sleep. The sheets are always being washed immediately after and sometimes she even throws them away and buys new ones. I don’t always find clothes lying around, but I still do sometimes. I’m not always home when she comes back from her nights out, and I’m still kind of in denial about her cheating on me. It’s nothing like her, and she’s not stupid - she surely wouldn’t make it this obvious unless she wanted me to find out.
She’s also been helping out around the house a lot and full of energy. I think she may be trying to make up for the guilt she’s feeling, and the thrill of cheating on me might be what’s given her this sort of newfound lease of life. One thing in particular is that she’s been taking all the rubbish out before I even notice it’s full. It seems to be getting full quicker, too, and since I can tell she’s gained a little bit of weight, I’m assuming it’s leftovers or food packaging, but the few times I’ve had a chance to see the full bags, they seem like bones from meat. Perhaps she’s eating a lot out of guilt, too? What confuses me even more is that I’ve barely seen her eat anything since this started, and the only things I have seen her eat were practically raw steaks and other meats, but I can count the amount of times I’ve seen this on my fingers. She also never brings these ‘friends’ back to our house after the first time, leading me to believe it’s all just one night stands.
Something different seems off with her, too though and I can’t figure out what it is. Maybe she’s having some sort of identity crisis, or even worse, one of these one night stands has gotten her pregnant. She seems disgusted by all the foods she used to love and when I accidentally cut my finger whilst chopping vegetables the other day (which is common for me since I’m pretty clumsy), she ran out of the room as soon as she saw the blood. I’m guessing it made her nauseous, which it never has before.
I don’t know how to confront her about this. Honestly, I’m a little bit scared of her now. Our knives keep going missing and being replaced with new ones, and her teeth seem to be sharper. That might sound a bit odd and irrelevant, but it could be for some kind of kink. Her energy also freaks me out sometimes, as she used to be such a laid back person, and now she’s the complete opposite. She also keeps staring at people in public a lot - another thing that’s unlike her.
It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore and I don’t know what to do. I thought I was gonna marry this woman, but I can’t marry a cheater. Am I overthinking this? Is there something I can do to fix our relationship? Do we need to go to couple’s counselling or something? I don’t want to have to end things with her, she’s the love of my life and she hasn’t been neglecting me and still keeps up with all our usual couple activities. I don’t understand what went wrong. The girl I met six years ago was a vegan, calm, sometimes a bit lazy, forgetful, loyal, and trustworthy woman. She was not whatever it is she has become.