My girlfriend (Clarissa) and I rent a studio apartment in Chicago. It’s basically a glorified cargo container. There are no doors except for the one leading in, no door for the bathroom, and no door to the bedroom. If anyone’s ever been to an Ikea and saw the layout of those little pass through living spaces, yeah, it’s very similar.
Coming in through the front door, to the left is the kitchen, to the right the bathroom, then comes the living room/bedroom all in one. We have our dressers pushed against the sides and our bed at the very back of the wall.
The two of us like the entire place dark. Like really dark. Or else we can’t sleep.
Black out curtains aren’t good enough, trust me, we’ve tried all of them. Tape, newspaper, spray paint, they’re only okay. We found that putting contact vinyl on the window frames is the best cheap option in truly making a dark space. So we have it on all the windows.
The only exception in the entire apartment is the small window above the shower, it’s so small that a child would have trouble passing through it. We initially tried sealing it up but it kept trapping moisture between our shower curtain so we were forced to leave it alone.
This caused the window to give off a faint glow at night, enough for a silhouette to be seen at times but not much light. Most people probably wouldn’t even notice it, but like I said, we liked it dark. Specifically me. But there was not much we could do so we just lived with it. Some nights it would be Clarissa tossing and turning next to me, disturbed by the little bit of light. Last night, it was me.
I couldn’t sleep. So I tried laying there for hours. I counted sheep. But that didn’t seem to work.
I tossed and turned for who knows how long before I got up and decided to use the bathroom.
I tried to be as quiet as possible as I stumbled over in the dark and felt my way to the toilet to do my business. But it’s a small space and before I could finish I hear this loud grumpy thump coming from our room. I flush the toilet and felt my way back to my side of the bed and muttered an apology as I crawled under the sheets. Clarissa didn’t respond and I was afraid that she was angry at me for waking her up so I felt my hands along her side of the bed but my fingers barely missed her as the mattress lifted from her weight as she got up and made her way towards the bathroom.
Her silhouette looked groggy as she moved. Her hair was disheveled from sleep, strings of it arched around her head as she raised her hands blindly to feel for her way.
It’s not unusual for one of us to go after the other, but it was unusual the way she was moving. At first I couldn’t quite describe why it made me feel uneasy. Sure her elbows were moving oddly and erratic as they hung high near her shoulders, making her frame look like a puppet’s as she tiptoed. I couldn’t quite figure out what she was doing or why my girlfriend of 3 years was starting to freak me out. And then it hit me. She looked like she was sneaking.
I watched until her head disappeared into the bathroom. A few seconds later I hear a low hiss as she expels herself and I try to give her some privacy, even in the dark, so I turn and lay my head back on my pillow and waited for her to come back.
No sooner had I laid back down when the smell hits me. It’s completely rancid and coats my throat as I breathe. It’s thicker and worse than after eating asparagus. And there’s no ventilation in this small space. So the air only gets thicker with the stuff until I can barely even breathe.
I couldn’t quite figure out what could have been the cause for the smell as our dinner was light and didn’t involve anything that could have smeared such an acidic taste into my mouth.
I wanted to cough but I didn’t. I was afraid that whatever made her pee smell this horrible was also making her feel physically uncomfortable as well. And the smell was so strong, I was positive that she knew it too. So I didn’t want to make her feel worse by addressing it.
A few seconds later I hear the toilet seat drop.
I hold my breath as I stare at our bathroom the entire time, waiting for her silhouette to reappear. I must have waited for about a minute before I saw her standing in the kitchen. She was close to the front door. I couldn’t tell if she was facing me or facing away since her hair was covering her face.
I didn’t know what was going on but by that point I had had enough. So I started reaching under my pillow for my phone. I think she noticed because she started walking towards me. I called out her name but she didn’t answer. Which only made me fumble for my phone more. By now I felt that she could see me. That she knew exactly where I was and I started to panic. I started swiping my hands under the pillows as she takes the 12 or 13 steps before reaching our bed.
My fingers hit the corner of my phone and I grab it. But right when I do, I feel long strands of hair touching my arms, chest, neck and face. It’s wet and cold and it smells so bad that I start to gag. I click my phone and pull it right between our faces.
No sooner had I done that does she pierce her lips and blows out the light on my phone like a candle.
I tried the button on the side again and a dead battery flashes back at me before turning black.
She grabs my neck and her fingers are bony and ice cold. I push her off me as I scramble up against the headboard. I hear her gurgling as she jumps off the bed. I reach for the light switch on the wall as she disappears from view. I hit the button and the entire apartment is lit up.
My heart’s pounding in my chest as my eyes dart back and forth to the only two possible places that she could possibly be but I don’t see her anywhere.
Slowly I get up from the bed and walk towards the bathroom. I glance inside but it’s empty. I make my way through to the front door and check the lock. The deadbolt’s still on and one of us even remembered to put on the chain last night. Then I searched the kitchen, opening up the cupboards to make sure that no one is hiding in them.
But the entire place seemed empty.
It wouldn’t be until I looked over on her side of the room, do I find her curled up on the floor, sleeping like a baby.
I touched her hair but it’s wasn’t wet.
Then I put my face next to her mouth and smelled her breath. And it’s not pretty but it doesn’t reek like the stench from earlier.
I glance around the room again to make sure that we were alone before picking her up and setting her back into bed.
That night, I left the lights on.
In the morning, I told her what had happened. She only laughed and said that I had a good imagination. But when I pressed her about it she started to get angry, in fact she was so adamant about the whole thing never happening that I chose to drop it. And since that night, it’s not like it ever happened again. So I guess that means my girlfriend is sleepwalking but she just doesn’t know it.