I think there’s something wrong with my dad.
My elderly father has been in a nursing home for over 5 years. His mental state has begun to deteriorate and for the last year it’s been getting worse and worse. He basically hasn’t Spoken a word to anyone, not to the nurses, or even his children when we would visit. To be honest, I can’t really remember the last time he even said anything remotely coherent. It’s tough to watch a family member slowly lose grips with reality to the point of not making any sense. But beyond the dementia/alzheimer’s. I think there’s something else going on, something that deeply worries me, something I can’t quite put my finger on.
The other day I received a call that I needed to come see him immediately. That was a big red flag for me, even though my father has been incoherent and can barely take care of himself, he normally behaves, I had never gotten a call like this before. I could tell something was wrong. I was expecting the worst, but what happened next was definitely not on my bingo card.
I walked to his room and there he was sitting up on the edge of his bed, and though I was standing right in front of him it seemed like he was looking through me, I don’t think he could really even see me. Sure, his eyes might not be blind, but I don’t think his brain could register that it was me at all, it’s like he was just staring directly forward into nothingness, into the void of this chilly assisted living room, and he almost looked happy, he was smiling. I say almost looked happy because the smile wasn’t really a joyful one, it was more disturbing if anything.
I tried to get his attention by waving at him and coming closer, but he didn’t move. I doubt he was mentally capable enough to explain whatever was happening in his head, if there was even anything going on up there at all at this point, but whatever he thought he was possessed by had complete control over him. He was as still as a statue, smiling into the empty hallway of the home. I wasn’t registering at all.
“Dad?” I asked getting closer. He still didn’t move and neither did his eyes, his pupils were more dilated than the eyes of an excited cat. “Hello? Dad? Is everything okay?” I asked before gently touching his arm.
I was trying to get his attention but I didn’t want to scare him, although at this point his behavior was starting to scare me a little. I was about to give up and call the nurse because he was being so non-responsive but then In a swift motion, he turned his head and violently gripped my arm screaming back at me.
“You’re going to die! You’re going to die! You’re going to die!” he screamed, with that sinister Smile never leaving his face the whole time.