Welcome to Hellmind
Hellmind is an interactive game, where your choices change the story’s direction. You will follow the bent mind of the main character, Michael. Where his mind ends up is completely up to you.
Create new save file?
> Yes
New save file created.
Welcome Player One! What is your name?
> Fawn
Hello, Fawn! Have you played Hellmind before?
> No
Would you like a tutorial?
> No
Okay, let’s get into it!
The ominous music floods my headphones as the game starts up, fading to black on my computer screen. Then, the light flickers, animating what is meant to look like a pair of eyes slowly opening. I, or Michael, is in a bedroom.
“Good morning, Michael!” the game chimes. “Had a good night’s sleep?”
Michael lets out a low groan in response. It now gives me an option to move my- Michael’s- body. I take the mouse and scroll it upwards, which pushes the camera angle higher up. The game is played from a first person point of view, meaning I see from Michael’s eyes. I suppose if I get to control his “bent mind”, as the game described it, I’ll get to hear his thoughts too.
“What do you want for breakfast, Michael?” the game asked me. I got two choices.
>Egg and Bacon
Cereal
I made my decision.
“Egg and bacon it is!”
The voice from the game is a female voice, middle aged at most. A pleasant voice. Michael moves through his apartment to the kitchen, opening the fridge. He groans again, and a new voice rings in my headphones. “Ugh, almost out of eggs… gotta go shopping…” that must have been Michael’s voice. It was low and coarse and raspy, like that of a person who doesn’t speak much. He sounded old, and judging by the hands that cracked the last egg in the frying pan, he was. Gray and wrinkly, old, like they’ve been through some tough shit. I wonder what.
I move the mouse to look around in Michael’s apartment, but the low voice stops me.
“Focus, I’m hungry.”
Fine, I’ll get you your breakfast. I look down at the frying pan and flip the egg with the plastic spatula, and put the bacon in.
“Stupid, now they won’t be finished at the same time. Either the egg will be burnt or cold by the time the bacon is done.”
Jeez, man, I’m trying to do what you want me to do, stop being so judgemental.
Michael seems unhappy with my breakfast skills, but the meal is finished so he seats himself to eat. He makes a comment about how “I should have salted the eggs” while eating, but I just roll my eyes.
“You’re like 80, why would you want to kill yourself faster through sodium poisoning?” I mumble to myself. My grandfather is like that. He can’t eat too much salt because it’s-
“Shut up, Fawn.”
What?
That came from Michael. Why did he respond to me? And by my name? Sure, I entered my name at the start screen, but interactive games like this rarely have any voice recordings of individual names. They’ll call you “player” or something similar. Then I realized.
Michael had said “grab more salt”. I had just imagined that he said my name. Looking down at the captions at the bottom of the screen, I read the phrase again.
“Grab more salt.”
“Fine.”
I scroll to move his hand, grabbing the small salt jar on the table, sprinkling it over the egg.
“I’m bored…”
I sigh and click the small cogwheel in the corner of the screen, and then “save and quit”.
>Save and quit?
Wait, keep playing
Note: Hellmind is played in real time. The next time you play, time will have passed in the game. Save and quit at your own discretion.
Yeah whatever. It’s like Animal Crossing.
The next day, I open the game again.
Welcome back to Hellmind, Fawn! Would you like to continue on your save file from yesterday?
>Yes
Great, let’s continue!
The screen goes black again. But this time, there’s no opening of Michael’s eyes like yesterday. Instead, a small message pops up.
Michael died from sodium poisoning tonight at 2:57 am. Try again?
What the fuck? Seriously?
Ugh.
>Try again
Quit
Note: trying again will overwrite any current saved data. Continue anyways?
>Yes
No
Restarting…
The screen once again animates Michael opening his eyes. The familiar voice chimed in.
“What do you want for breakfast, Michael?”
>Cereal
There was no other option this time. Hm. That’s odd. Maybe the game remembers your mistakes or something. But it said it would overwrite previous game data… Whatever.
“Cereal it is!”
Yeah, I didn’t have much of a choice. Whatever. I moved him over to the kitchen again, this time grabbing a bowl. A new decision appeared before me.
“What cereal would you like?”
Chocolate cereal
>Granola
“Granola is boring.” Michael mumbled.
“Yeah okay but you died from sodium fucking poisoning last night so let’s not kill you from diabetes too.”
“I don’t have diabetes.”
I stop in my scrolling around his kitchen. I could have sworn he said that. But looking down at the dialogue, he just mentioned ‘I just want sweets’. I must be imagining things.
As I finish breakfast, this time, I decide to keep playing. What happens after breakfast?
“How about taking a walk? Doesn’t that sound nice, Michael? Where do you wanna go?”
>The lake
The city
“Lakeside it is! Let’s get going.”
I sigh as I get Michael dressed and out of the house. Actually, as we walked outside, it was an apartment. Quite high up, maybe 7th or 8th floor. Dangerous. I take the elevator down to the ground floor, leave the apartment complex and walk out on the street. The screen goes black for a moment. When it comes back on, we’re by the lake. I guess the game didn’t want to bore me with a walk in real-time.
“I want to swim.”
That’s a new voice. Not Michael or the game’s voice. This voice was… younger. A young male’s voice, intruding my headphones.
“I. Want. To. Swim.”
“N-no, you can’t swim. It’s too cold.”
“I want to swim now.”
This voice, I realize, is Michael. A younger version of him, ordering him to swim.
“No, I’m not going to swim.” Michael replies.
“No, I need to swim. Right now.”
I scroll to move Michael’s body, but he moves on his own. He starts stripping down, getting ready to swim.
“Now now, Michael, where are you going?” The game asked this time.
“Swimming.”
What do I do? I can’t control him. He’s moving on his own, controlled by this other voice, his voice. For fuck’s sake, he’s gonna drown or die from hypothermia if I can’t stop him soon enough. But before I can even click the mouse again, he’s in the water. The screen shakes to show the cold temperature. It can’t be later than March, so it must be freezing.
“I love swimming.” both young and old Michael say in unison. But I can tell that older Michael doesn’t mean what he’s saying. The water is too deep and too cold for him to keep going, and after a few minutes of just watching helplessly, Michael closes his eyes.
Michael died from hypothermia and drowning today at 11:21 am. Try again?
>Try again
Quit
Note: trying again will overwrite any current saved data. Continue anyways?
>Yes
No
Restarting…
This is frustrating. How the hell am I supposed to get through even a day of this game if Michael is on a constant suicide mission? I sigh but start the new save file nonetheless.
“Good morning Michael!”
The voice is different this time. It’s not just the familiar, female voice I’ve learned to associate with the game’s narrator. It’s mixed with the voice of younger Michael.
What is wrong with this game?
I shift in my seat. I’m growing more uncomfortable by the minute. This game is fucked up.
This time it gives me the option to skip through breakfast, since I’ve already made all possible choices there. I skip the breakfast scene and get the same set of choices as last time.
“How about taking a walk? Doesn’t that sound nice, Michael? Where do you wanna go?”
The lake
>The city
“The city it is!”
I hate this new voice, I hate it I hate it I hate it. It feels louder than before, but I’m sure I haven’t increased the volume in my headset. I nervously dress Michael and steer him towards the city.
“Jump in front of that car.”
The game gives me a quick time event, just giving me a second to click to avoid the speeding car. Michael stumbles, almost falling off the sidewalk. I didn’t know this game even had QTEs.
“How about the train?”
Another QTE, now even shorter than the first. And another, and another. I manage to save him just in time as the train drives past him.
“Look, there’s some hobos trying to stay warm. How about jumping into the fire?”
The QTE is too fast for me this time, and Michael falls into the bonfire on the sidewalk. He doesn’t even try to get up. He just lays there, letting the fire embrace his body.
“Aw, look. The hobos are trying to save your worthless body. How nice of them.”
The voice is even more twisted than before. It’s not even a mixture of the pleasant lady and younger Michael, it just sounds demonic. There is something fucked up about this game.
“Fawn?”
I almost jump in my chair. That was Michael, for sure. When I look at the dialogue box, for the first time, it confirms my suspicions from before. He’s saying my name, clear and loud.
“Aren’t you gonna save me, Fawn? I thought you liked me.”
A wave of guilt flushes over me. I do like him. But there’s nothing I can do. The screen isn’t giving me anything to click on, no options, nothing.
“Help me, Fawn. I don’t want to die again. Don’t kill me again.”
He knows. He knows of my previous save files. He knows of his past lives, he knows he’s died twice already. But how?
“Help me, Fawn. Help me, Fawn. Help me, Fawn.”
He repeats his plea over and over as the screen slowly fades to black.
Michael died today from third degree burns after Fawn let him jump into the fire.
Stop. This isn’t my fault. I couldn’t do anything.
It is your fault, Fawn. Don’t deny it.
I SAID STOP!
I press the power button on my computer and throw my headset off. I can’t do more today. In the reflection of my now black screen, I can see my own bloodshot eyes staring back at me. How long have I been playing? Doesn’t matter. I need sleep.
Good morning, Fawn! Had a good night’s sleep?
“Yeah…”
My body feels like it’s going on autopilot as I sit up, rubbing my eyes. What time is it?
It’s 9:34 am. What do you want for breakfast?
Two choices pop up before me.
>Hellmind
Hellmind
That doesn’t look like breakfast.
Hellmind it is! Let’s get started.
My body moves on its own, sitting down in the chair by my desk, turning my PC on. The RGB lights in the fans start up, indicating that the power is on. I don’t even have to start up the game, it’s already on.
Welcome back to Hellmind, Fawn! Let’s continue.
The voice, clearly saying my name, doesn’t even startle me anymore. It’s still the voice from yesterday, narrator and young Michael, though now the Michael part is much more prominent. I look down at the dialogue box, but it just says “player one”, and not my name. Whatever. I open the save file.
Michael died from third-degree burns yesterday at 12:34 pm. Try again.
Restarting…
“Good morning Michael! Had a good night’s sleep?”
“No.”
“Oh, how come? Had a nightmare?”
“Yes.”
>Ask what it was about
Leave the subject
“What was it about?”
“Burning.”
Only now do I remember what happened in the game yesterday. He jumped into a fire. Or was that just a nightmare?
I rub my eyes, still tired from my own nightmare. It was about something similar, but I don’t really remember exactly. I think it was about witches being burned at the stake. Whatever.
I skip the breakfast scene again.
“How about going fo-”
“No.” Michael promptly stops the narrator. “I don’t want to go for a walk.”
“Well, what do you want to do then?”
>Kill myself
I don’t even get a second option. That’s the only thing I can click. Even the settings and home screen buttons are locked. I just sigh and click it.
“Are you sure?”
“Do it.” Young Michael chimes in. “Fawn isn’t gonna save you anyways. Why would she? She doesn’t care.”
“I know.”
Shut. Up.
“Go on, do it. No one cares about your pathetic life anyways. Do it.”
I can’t take it anymore. I force my computer back to the home screen and click to delete the game. Then I turn it back off.
Good morning, Fawn! Had a good night’s sleep?
“No.”
I don’t even question the voice anymore. It’s been ringing in my ears for the past week or so, I’ve grown accustomed to it.
It’s 9:34 am. What would you like for breakfast?
Hellmind
>Check the news
At least I got a different option today.
Great! The newspaper is by the door.
I’m not even subscribed to any newspaper. Anyhow, I walk over to the door and pick up said paper. The headline is large, and the words strike an arrow of fear into me.
82 Year Old Male Found Dead In His House, Police Investigating Suicide
No, it can’t be. Michael is a fictional character. He’s not real. I flip to the page about the case and continue reading.
Michael, 82, was found dead in his apartment yesterday night. His neighbors have been reporting him to act strange for the past week. Police are investigating suicide.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. This can’t be real. I must be hallucinating. Did I kill Michael? No. It’s just a game. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t tell what’s real or not. I don’t know what to do. It has to end.
22 Year Old Female Found Dead In Her House, Police Investigating Suicide
Fawn, 22, was found dead in her apartment yesterday night. Her neighbors have been reporting her to act strange for the past week. Police are investigating suicide.
Resetting…
Loading…
Starting up…
Welcome to Hellmind.
Hellmind is an interactive game, where your choices change the story’s direction. You will follow the bent mind of the main character, Michael. Where his mind ends up is completely up to you.
Create new save file?
> Yes
New save file created.
Welcome Player Two! What is your name?
> Anthony
Hello, Anthony! Have you played Hellmind before?
> No
Would you like a tutorial?
> No
Okay, let’s get into it!