It started last week. Maybe even before that, but it was last week when I first realised. My friend had disappeared from the face of this Earth, and I’m the only one who remembers. At first, I thought I was going crazy— I did have a brief history when I was hallucinating people, so I simply thought I had relapsed. I visited my therapist to talk about it, and we agreed it was a hallucination.
My therapist disappeared yesterday, and I was the only one who remembered her. I think I’m going crazy, people don’t just disappear, do they?
I’ve recently started having odd unexplainable feelings deep within me. At first I thought it was loneliness— because that would make sense. My friends are moving on with life, I hadn’t stayed in contact with many people. I don’t remember when was the last time I had talked to someone before the friend that disappeared and my therapist. These types of things were normal to me, I’ve never been great at keeping relationships, so ‘loneliness’ would make sense. My childhood friends had all been fake, made up from the mind of a lonely child.
These feelings have been overwhelming recently, it felt like it was consuming every inch of my body, pulling me down. I can’t explain it with anything but: gravity x10 but it’s my imagination. I couldn’t breathe most of the time, but I didn’t need to. I spent days trapped within the confines of my bed, scrolling endlessly for something. For anything.
Then, my friend texted me. I had forgotten that it was my birthday, but she remembered. She was the only one to wish me, so naturally, I contacted her back to thank her. We weren’t close friends, not at all. The last time we had talked was to discuss a school project, and that was months ago. To commemorate my 18th birthday, she wanted to treat me to dinner.
I went, but there was something. That feeling never faded. I was moving in a world that spun faster than I did. I reached the restaurant, sat down, and met her for dinner. Sara was kind, she was everything that I wasn’t and more. She was a nice friend, great conversationalist. I had a nice night, and we parted ways, my mind stuck on the promise she had left before she drove off: “I will text you tomorrow morning!”
She didn’t text me, not that I expected it. They always leave. But I was desperate, I think I was lonely, so I went to look for her. You already know where this story goes.
I’m hallucinating. It can’t be anything else. Everything was fake, everything. I can’t tell where the truth starts and ends. Am I even writing this right now?
Then, there’s that monster. It came yesterday, and it was what drove me to write this. A shadowy figure that reaches out to me at night to caress my cheek. It doesn’t say anything, doesn’t screech, doesn’t have a face or body, just the vague silhouette of a human with spindly arms and fingers. It felt warm and cold at the same time, and I was stuck under its touch, frozen by the overwhelming fear that overtook my entire being.
This one isn’t fake. I know, I know it isn’t fake. It isn’t like Sara, it isn’t like my therapist. It touched my cheek and stood by my side for what seemed like hours, then it left. I fumbled for my phone to call my mother, because who else am I supposed to when everything else was fake?
My mother is real. Was real. She disappeared this morning. It’s coming for me too, I think. Reddit, what’s real?