I was lazily searching the internet for whatever I could find to cure my boredom, I even tried a couple of buzzfeed quizzes, THAT level of boredom. For context, I’d just been fired from my job and despite my girlfriends encouragement, it’s been tough to look for new jobs, or pretty much do anything productive, I guess she’s noticed because her encouragement turned to rage as she screamed at me to do something with my life and left for her mothers. What a bitch, I haven’t been drinking enough I’d say.
The quizzes were stupid, I’m 100% not a Ross, so I went looking for something else- on the side was an ad for a site claiming to be the hardest “Would you rather” questions in the world and I thought why the fuck not, maybe I’d get a laugh on how choosing which topping on a pizza was hard, but I wish I listened to it.
The first question was really simple, it asked if I’d rather be immortal via age but killable, or be unkillable but can die by age, I of course picked the former, like any reasonable human, the second was would you rather be able to fly or be able to turn invisible, I chose flying. It went on like this for some time, showing the percentages of what previous people chose, it was about the seventh question, that’s when they asked “Would you rather die via gunshot or a knife?”, I gotta be honest, this question seemed stupid to me so I went to click out of the tab…and that’s when a pop-up came up, an image of me, right then, picking “immortal”, captioned “Please finish your questions! :D”, and despite the fact I pressed the X already, the tab was still there, now with a timer counting down.
I chose gunshot, very freaked out and ready to call the police, the next was “Would you rather never be found or be thought of as a suicide victim?”, sweat trickled down my forehead as I clicked the latter, “Good choice! It goes well with gunshot :D”, a chat bubble came up. “Would you rather tell your mother you’re suicidal or tell your father you’ll never live up to anything?”. I clicked the latter. It was a bunch of these questions getting more personal or more grotesque, when I tried to call the cops the pop-up stated that was a non-advisable avenue. Freaking out I reasoned that this was just some dumb prank, my girlfriend probably took that picture and paid for ad-space on it, or messed with my computer, all just to make my lazy ass get up, right?
I stood up, done with this fucking game, throwing my chair on the floor and wondering what the actual hell was going on, when my computers sound suddenly turned itself fully up, and said “Would you rather kill your parents or keep playing?”. I froze, unable to force myself to walk forward, it felt like hours but it could’ve only been minutes. “15 seconds to make a choice, Stephen.”. I gulped and selected continue playing, it knew my name, my location….and I wasn’t risking my parents on a guess about a prank, not after everything they did for me.
“Good! Only a few questions left” the chat bubble taunted me. “Would you rather your house catch on fire, or your neighbours?”, I clicked my neighbours and looked out the window and saw…nothing, I sighed and then started laughing like a maniac- I mean, why would I believe they’d actual do anything I said right? What a fucking idiot I was- I saw the light before I heard the screams, frozen in shock. I look back to the screen, the chat bubble chastising me for being a selfish bastard. I wanted to smash the screen at the irony of the bastard.
“Would you rather get stabbed in the shoulder or make sure your neighbours don’t get help?”. I’d like to tell you guys I hesitated in this one, but I didn’t, I fucking hate the idea of being stabbed, it’s why I chose the gunshot. Besides, they were probably already dead….I think. I’d bet, I mean, they must’ve been, right? “Congratulations! Two more questions :D” I sighed in relief…until I saw it on the screen. “Would you rather 10 random people die, or you die?”. I’d already sacrificed my neighbour…twice, and so many people die every day, I mean, who’s to say they’d really do it? I have to admit I was grasping at straws here, my self-preservation was kicking in but my heart was pounding, anxiously looking around. I gulped once more, moving onto the final question. Hoping to whatever god that would listen that it’d be an easy one.
I felt the cold barrel of the gun on the back of my head before the last question came up, and a “Don’t look back.” muffled through an altered voice from behind me once more, deciding to listen to it, I looked to my last question. One I’m sure will answer your question of why I’m admitting to this at all…
“Would you rather admit to your aid in the murder of 11 people, or have a bullet travel from the back of your head- through your skull, into the computer screen?”. Shaking, I moved the mouse over to the former. I hoped maybe they’d accept I was forced against my will, maybe manslaughter as I could convince them I didn’t know, something, the rules were in an addendum, I had to do it in a way anyone could gain the means to access it, I couldn’t delete it, and I had to hand myself into the police afterwards. I really didn’t want to, but I couldn’t just let myself die after everything right? I had to survive, to do something with my life.
The fucker hasn’t left yet, they said I could choose the form, so I chose this one- I hope you guys won’t judge me, I hope you’ll give me advice, I really need it, I don’t know why the fuck they’re doing this to me, what did I do??