Twenty five years ago I took a man’s life. And everything changed, it helped me become a father, a husband and good person overall. Now that man has came back, to haunt me.
The signs were small but subtle, I’ll catch glimpses of his face on my peripheral. Sometimes I’d catch him in my reflection. I never told my wife Amber about this, our son Bambi was just over 2 years old. An active kid, never troublesome nor a crybaby. We had movie nights after our weekend picnics. And head straight home. My marriage was beautiful, I opened the door and tossed my jacket to the side “Babe!?” I called out, undoing my tie and there he was. Sitting on my sofa, cross legged and a wide grin plastered on his face “Heyya buddie”. A lump formed in my throat, I couldn’t blink “Wha- what are you. Hmm what are you doing here”, I checked the other rooms, and my wife wasn’t there “Where are they?!” I was panicking, “Relax. They weren’t home when I got here brother relax” the man before me never moved an inch. Just his eyes followed me.
“I’ve came to take whats mine”. My brow furrowed, I scoffed “Yours? Hah. There’s nothing of yours here. You gave it to me remember. I took your life as a gift”, I haven’t seen him in twenty five years, but something about him gave me a gut feeling that made my hands shake. “Nothing you say?. Nothing?!!. Brother your life is mine. You have a lovely home, a lovely family. You even have a picture room. Some people keep their pictures in their albums but you have a room with walls littered top to bottom with your family photos. I wantsssss that” in just a swift motion he was in front of my face hissing. His breath stank, making my eyes water.
What he said was true, but it was a gift. You can’t take back a gift can you? I mean its a universal rule right. “Bambi’s birthday is next month, can I at least have that?”, he smiled at me “Sure thang broski. One month to say your goodbyes”. I couldn’t sleep a wink, I kept tossing and turning in my bed. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Amber pulled my in her arms, “Nothing babe.
Just a runny tummy. Go back to sleep”, I kissed her forehead and went to Bambi’s room. He was sound asleep, snuggling his favorite toy. Reoccurring dreams plagued my sleep deprived mind, I’d wake up to a nightmare, a man living my life, my wife no longer my wife, everything amiss. The corner of my eyes were no longer empty. Flashing images of that man kept showing. Sanity was starting to become a foreign thing to me.
I prayed for slower days, for more time. We took more photos, I made sure to remind my wife how beautiful she was and how much I loved her. She’d look at me with those beautiful eyes “No baby, we’re beautiful” and pull me in a tight hug. Bambi will be giggling. “No, No this is mine. This is my wife. This is my family” I downed another milkshake “Bartender, more!” I was in deep thoughts. The waitress looked at me square in the eyes “Sir, for the fifth time. This is not a bar” she rolled her eyes, I apologized and left for home. Bambi’s birthday was tomorrow. Wherever that man was, he was waiting. Looking forward to seeing me. Taking what’s mine.
The preparations were exhausting and also fun. We tend to goof around a lot. Amber caught me crying, and she rubbed my shoulders then hugged me from behind “What’s wrong honey bun” , I loved her too much. She loved me, but I couldn’t fathom the thought of her looking at me different if she found out what I had done and what I was keeping from him. “Nothing babe, just realized you’re actually not a bad wife. And I’ll have to block and delete Charlize Theron’s number”, that earned me a punch in my right arm. “Baby, Charlize got nun on this ass”, and she smacked her ass while walking away.
During my son’s birthday, I avoided being in a sombre mood. I made sure we had a great time. A great time we had. Everyone came, we were social people, we had friends, colleagues, Bambi’s friends and my mom was there. I think she loved him more than me, even my wife thought so too.
When the party died down, My wife and mother left for her place. I told them I’ll clean up. The feeling of dread I’ve been pushing down my gut crept onto me. I felt him before I saw him. “Its time” he stood behind me, back to back. I chuckled “I take it, we can’t make some sort of bargain?” My hopes leaned on him taking me up on my offer. “Ohh no. The Devil doesn’t bargain”. At that moment, my hopes tilted to my other plan. “If I can’t give you my life. Then I’ll have to take it” I turned around and swang the baseball bat I was using for the pinata early, turns out I swang at nothing because he had jumped a few steps away.
“Now you got a fighter in ya!? feisty” I swang at him again with all my might and he dodged it “I just want my life back!” He yelled, I swang again and he caught it mid air and kicked me in the groin. I fell to the ground whimpering. Punches rained on my face “You. Took. My. Life. You’re enjoying!. You.have a wife!. Friends. I have nothing” he spat on my face, I was seeing doubles. “Fuck is wrong with you. Geez. Now I’ll have to beat you into a pulp. When I’m done. I’ll fuck Amber in your honor capeesh?. Now all you have to do is walk out. Walk out and I’ll take care of the rest Ed. Please!” He knelt before me, staring at me at eye level.
I balanced myself, and headbutted him as hard as I can. My forehead colliding with his, sharp pain shooting across my head. He cried in agony, cussing as he tumbled over, I swung the baseball bat to his ribs and he wailed in pain. I was onto him, squeezing the life out of him. Gritted teeth and bloody nose. “That’s my wife! Thats my life! Thats my son!”. He was thrashing, trying to fight me off him. I squeezed harder. Seeing the life force fade from his eyes, then the room was spinning. My head dizzy, I heard muffled sounds, Amber screaming in the background.
The lights above me blinded my eyes, I woke up surrounded by people. Some I knew and some I didn’t, Amber and mom were among them. I was in a hospital. The doctor checked me for more injuries and left. The moment he left Amber sobbed profusely, Mom stepped in “Whatever they ask. Tell them an intruder was at your house”. I was confused, “But there was an intruder. Why you making it sound like a lie. Ouch”, my ribs hurt and my head was throbbing. Mom and Amber looked at each other before she spoke “Babe?” I cut her off.
“Baby, there’s something I need to tell you. I didn’t tell you sooner because I was scared you’d leave, or love me less.. I had a brother, more of a twin. Ted, he was outgoing, funny, social. People seemed to be drawn to him. Then there was me, a loner and a shy kid. We were two sides of the coin. One shiner the other one dim. It went on like that till our teen years. We were sitting on our favorite spot when he said something ‘I wanna give you my life for my birthday, you’ll get my charisma, my good looks. Everything and no one has to know’ he could see the confusion in my eyes ‘Ed, we’re twins. No one can tell the difference if you pretend to be me dummy’ , It took me a while but I kinda liked the idea of playing him ‘Where, where will you go?’ I asked, ‘Far away, just live your life’.
That was the end of it, a couple of months later he did just that. He woke me up one night and told me he loved me just, just left. Thats when I got in a little accident and started playing his part. I was him and he was no more. Now fast forward, he came back. To the house. To claim you. To claim my- his life. I’m sorry Mom, I couldn’t let him have it. Thats why we fought. I’m sorry babe”, my ears welled up. I fought back tears.
They locked eyes, the room went dead silent. “Babe, when I came into the house, you were choking yourself. As far as the doctors can tell. All your wounds are self inflicted”, “No, wha- Bae no”, I tried laughing, this was a joke it had to be. Mom chimed in “Eddy, Teddy died 25 years ago”. “This this joke is not funny mom! I saw Ted, he was alive. I talked to him on the phone some times.” My voice was rising, “Babe what phone?”, Amber placed her arm around me “The landline babe”, she looked me deadpan “It was never connected remember?”. I did remember but somehow I forgotten. “Ted, committed suicide. You were born with a rare heart disease, well hospitals didn’t have hearts laying around at that time. And you didn’t have much time. So your brother did what he had to do. For you to live” Mom was holding me from the other side “After the transplant, your mannerism changed, I thought it was because you were missing him”. Realization came flooding in form of tears. What he meant by giving me his life. The fight that led to me getting here.