A short drive. That’s all it was supposed to be in the beginning. However, like most things in my life. Shit hit the fan pretty quickly. I was doing about 80 down an old country road trying desperately to get back home. I was already tipsy from late night drinking with the boys and for some dumb reason I thought getting home as fast as possible would help the rumbling in my guts and the wetness in my mouth.
I knew I was going to puke soon. A tell tale sign I had consumed way too much alcohol. It really should have been a sign that I was too far gone to drive. I was too drunk and belligerent to notice let alone care. All I could think of was getting home, puking my guts out in the toilet, and laying down on the cold tile floor in my bathroom.
I guess the thought alone was soothing enough, because before I could even realize my eyes were just about shut and I could hear myself beginning to snore. It was only for a moment but that’s all it took for my car to go off road.
Suddenly the smooth ride became bumpy and I jostled and jumped in my seat. I only half woke up as I began to try and take back control of the vehicle. Pulling and turning the wheel it seemed like the car had a mind of its own. The more I struggled the more I began to sober up enough to gain some semblance of what was going. Then I saw the tree.
Coming directly at me or rather me to it. I jerked the wheel to the left and slammed hard on the brakes, nearly missing its huge trunk as the car’s wheels screeched and screamed, finally finding asphalt.
Realizing that I had stopped and that I was safe I opened my car door. A cool breeze kissed my face as I exited. I’m not sure if it was the booze or the excess adrenaline coursing through my veins, but I could barely keep my balance. I had to lean on the hood of my car just to keep from doubling over.
After a few minutes of attempting to regain my composure. I looked up and took in my surroundings. To the right of me was that huge tree I had just narrowly missed and beyond that was corn stalks taller than any man. They went as far as the eye could see. In front of me was just road, long, dark and seemingly endless. My headlights only illuminating maybe a few yards in front of me. To my surprise on my left was a huge farm house. Looked to be well lit and maintained. I hadn’t remembered anyone living on this road though.
“Hey!” An old man yelled from the front porch of the farm house. I guess in my drunken state I hadn’t seen him.
“Get in your car and leave now! You’re not supposed to be here!” He shouted.
His words were fuzzy. Almost like I had cotton balls in my ears. I looked over at the man and squinted. Then my eyes widened as my blurry vision focused on the double barrel shotgun he had aimed in my direction.
“Whoa man take it easy!” I said putting my arms up.
“I almost crashed my car. I’m not here to cause trouble.”
The old man just shook his head and spit. “Get in your car and leave! This is your last chance!” He yelled, bringing his shotgun up to his chest.
“Oh god, wait!” I screamed, but it was too late. I heard the thick crack of the shotgun going off.
I fell down to my knees nearly passing out as I did. I lay there, hands and knees on the cold pavement nearly in shock as I began clutching my chest. Surprisingly, there was no wetness to it. I began checking the rest of my body and realized I was completely unharmed.
I looked up at the old man. His attention still fiercely focused on where I had been standing. Shotgun still at the ready. I crooked my neck just above the driver’s side window to see just what the hell he had been staring at.
What I saw I almost couldn’t believe. Sliding down the now bloodstained passenger window was the biggest spider I had ever seen. It was easily as big as a man. It’s jagged fangs making an ear splitting scraping noise as they slid across the glass. Its eight eyes were moving frantically back and forth before they finally rested on me. Not for only a moment, before it fell the rest of the way down the door.
“Get off your ass kid, I only winged it!” The old man shouted at me.
He was right. I could see the beginnings of thick black hairy legs protruding from underneath my car. That’s all the invitation I needed to get the hell outta there. I scrambled to my feet and began running three steps at a time towards the farm house.
I was halfway across the lawn when I heard a quick scampering behind me. I took a quick look over my shoulder and saw the spider was gaining on me. Its movements were frantic and almost lopsided as it came after me. If the old man really did wing it. The spider showed almost no effect.
Realizing that at this pace I’d never reach the end of the driveway let alone the front porch. I dove to the ground and covered my head, resigning myself to death. Then I heard another boom as the old man let the double barrel ring out once again.
“Get the hell up!” I felt a warm hand grab my arm and pull me to my feet.
It was the old man. He basically threw me towards the porch and my legs did the rest as we entered his home. I glanced back at the front yard. A bleeding mess of what had once been the huge spider laid dead on the ground. Blood and viscera strewn about as the bleeding body began to curl up legs to chest. The old man hadn’t only winged it this time.
The old man didn’t break stride as we entered the house. We went running past doors and windows and rooms until he was leading me up a flight of stairs. My legs were buckling under me from the sheer adrenaline and the booze.
“Where are you taking me!” I cried out. More out of fear than curiosity. Then we stopped dead on the stairs.
The old man turned to me and scowled. He opened his mouth to say something, but then quickly shut it. He perked his ears up. Almost like he was trying to hear something. I guess that’s about all he could do because the narrow stairway we were in was almost pitch black. Save for the two lights at the top and the bottom. I guess he was pleased with what he heard or maybe lack thereof because he spoke.
“Don’t say another word until we get there. Not long now.” He started back up the stairs. I followed behind him. I mean, what else could I do?
We finally reached the top of the stairs and entered what I could only describe as a sort of makeshift spiritual room. Picture like a gypy’s tent but all the nick nacks and decorations are made from farm equipment. There were sigils made from tractor parts. Runes carved into animal pelts. In the center lay a huge stone slab with arcana scribbled all over it. Just above that was what I assumed to be the centerpiece of the room. A large hay bale made to look like a man hung over the stone slab casting an eerie shadow across the room.
“What the fuck?” I ask looking over at the old man.
He had reached into a nearby drawer and took out a few more shotgun shells. He glanced up at me, still with that same scowl, and began to reload.
“I should be asking you the same question stranger. This is a sealed place. How are you here?”
“I-I don’t know. I was driving home from the bar and lost control of my car.” I stammered out.
“Well stranger, you’ve just crashed into the outskirts of a small town you really don’t want to be in. As you can see this here ain’t Old McDonald’s farm.” The old man said, eyeing me up and down.
“Maybe if I was sober I wouldn’t have gotten into this mess.” I hadn’t realized I spoke aloud.
“Haha!” The old man exclaimed and for the first time cracked a smile. “That wouldn’t have made a lick of difference stranger. Yup, this place has a way of finding you. Whether you want it to or not.” The old man’s smiled faded as he said that last part.
“Listen stranger the night is still young. Go on outside to the barn while I get things prepped. My Daughter Gene should be held up there. Get her outta there and help her get the lamb here.” He said handing me a rusty machete.
“The fuck is this gonna do?!” I looked at the old man wide eyed. “You saw that thing out there! Don’t you have another gun or something?”
“One, I don’t fucking know you stranger. Two, they go down easier than they look. And Three, If you don’t get your ass down there and bring back that lamb this shotgun will be like a light fucking tickle to what’s coming.” The old man forced the machete in my hand and nearly threw me down the steps.
“Use the back door! And remember two knocks and a pound!” He said as he shut the door behind me.
I came back down the stairs and entered a hallway. To my left was the way I had just come and led back to the front door. To my right led to what I could only assume to be the back of the house and then to the barn further outside.
Immediately, I turned to the left and made my way back to the front of the house. This wasn’t my fight. I was just a passerby on a strange and weird night. My only objective was to get home safe and put all this madness behind me.
Once I made it back to the front door I took a peek outside to make sure the coast was clear. I only saw my car and the still dead spider. All was still save for the corn shifting and swaying in the breeze outside. Seemed like I was good to go. All I had to do was make it back to my car and I’d be golden.
I held my machete firm and slowly opened the door. It offered a long creek as its rough joints eased open. I took a step out and was hit with cool air. I walked slowly toward my car keeping my eyes fixated on the dead spider and giving it a very wide berth as well.
After I passed the spider I made a b-line for my car when I noticed the corn was shifting more violently than before. At first I thought the wind had picked up and didn’t break stride. Just as I was a few steps away from my car I heard an ear splitting screech. The sound was so loud I instantly dropped the machete to cover my ears.
The sound only grew louder and louder until whatever it was burst through the corn, sending huge stalks flying every which way. I looked up to see two huge insect-like arms raised up high into the air above the corn stalks poised to strike. Then they came down onto the concrete with a hard thump, breaking inches of thick asphalt underneath.
The arms were well over my car, caging it so I wouldn’t dare try to gain access. Then in one fell swoop my car was gone. The monster had withdrawn its long arms back into the corn and dragged my car along with them. Leaving only thick tire marks and two deep grooves in the road and dirt leading back into the cornfield.