Last year, I (Female, 22) gained an astronomical amount of weight, mainly because of my OCD medication change. I’m exactly five feet (152 centimeters) and up until a few months ago, weighed 180 pounds (81 kg.) It was the stress of starting college, the upending of my schedule….but most of all my medication. Going off of it wasn’t an option.
For the first year I was fine, largly because I was living on my own. But the next year, I got a roomate, let’s call her Jane. Her parents were from Scotland, and she had just finished up her senior year at a private boarding school that cost more than my tuition in college. Jane is one of the most beautiful women I have enver met. She was the same hight as me, but different in every way. Jane had long, flowing blond hair (as opposed to my ugly brown) and her eyes were a fierce icey blue. Her skin was pale as porcilin but she tanned a nice light brown. But most of all, she was skinny. Not anorexically thin, but regular skinny. No tummy fat, no juggling arms. Perfect. Just all around perfect.
She might have been Scottish, but she ate like a steryotypical Americanan. Pizza, burgers, chicken nuggets, hotdogs, anything and everything deep fried. Initially I didn’t mind. After all, it would catch up to her, she would quickly realize her mistake.
But after a few months, I noticed how she stayed exactly the same. So I asked her how often she goes to the gym. “Never” she replied, with her big smile and glowing white teeth. “I’m just built different.”
It bugged me, but hey, nothing too bad. But then came spring break. We had planned to go to Miami together, and I wasn’t going to let my weight get in the way of a good time. But as soon as we landed, I could tell something was off. We walked all over town and the beaches, but only Jane was welcomed, and had the door held open. Guys noticed her, not me. The difference was astounding. But the most embarasing moment was when I tripped over my shoe lace and tumbled down the steps. The burger was still wrapped nicely, but people laughed. “This the first time you worked out in a while, huh?” one of the guys shouted at me.
It hit me like a wall of bricks. The trip had been a major wake up call. After we returned, my only focus was on getting healthy. I first went down to one soda a day, and then cut it out all together. Next it was all the sugar. I was eating salads and fresh fruits for every meal. Each calory was counted with percision. I spent two hours each day at the gym, one in the moring and one at night, walking around the track and lifting wights. Two months later when the semester ended, I had lost 10 pounds (6.8 kg.)
With no summer classes, I could just focus on my health. I went down another 20 pounds (9 kg) by the end of August. I had gone down a whole jeans size. I had never felt better.
But when I came back to school that fall, things had changed for the worse. The salad bar was only open for lunch, not dinner. Then the gym decided to change it’s hours, so I could only go twice a week instead of five. Class got stressful, and I let myself slide.
I fell into a depression, started skipping class, and ate nothing but fried chicken and burgers. All 20 pounds (9 kg) I had lost that summer were gained back. My GPA sunk to 1.5 that fall semester, and my parents were furiouse. Thousands of dollars, just lit on fire and burned.
They gave me one more chance: If I failed any of my courses in the spring semester, they were pulling me out. To make matters worse, one of the courses I had to take to graduate was called “intro to healthy living styles.” Yes, it was humiliating, but I wanted to get it out of the way.
Of course, it was what you would normally expect: eat healthy, excercise, don’t be lazy, all that stuff.
But on the last day of class, my teacher approached me privatly and asked me if I would like to come to their office this afternoon, it was “important” and I might find it interesting.
My heart sank. Had I failed the final? I had gotten straight B’s for the rest of the classes. As for my weight, I had managed to stay neutral, neither gaining or lossing any pounds.
When I came into his office, he was in a surprisingly good mood.
“You’ve written in your essays how hard it is for you to lose wight” he said, leaning back in his chair. My face went bright red. “Yes, and?” I asked, wondering what I was doing here. Was he really just going to sit her at fat shame me?
“I’ve got somthing you might be interested in. A few biochemistry graduate students think they have made a weight loss pill. It’s just gotten approval for a trial by the Food And Drug Administration. And I was wondering if you would like to participate.”
I was shocked. “Are you sure this isn’t a scam?” I asked. “There’s no guarentee that this will work of course. But it’s an option.”
Fine, I agreed to try it. They gave me an orange bottle filled with exactly 14 pills. One for each week.
Of course, the pill alone wouldn’t work. I would have to work out and eat healthy as well, this was just going to aid me, it wasn’t going to do the hard work.
I ate leafy greens and fresh fruit, I actually went to my local gym several times a week. I ditched my car and biked almost everywhere. It wasn’t that hard. My appitite had shrunk and I felt full of energy, like at any moment I would burst open.
The strange thing was that I never felt hungry. Never. In fact, I always felt full.
My start weight: 175
The first week, I lost 7 pounds (3.2 kg). Not bad.
I kept it up, and lost another 10 pounds (4.5 kg).
On week 3, I lost 9 pounds (6.8 kg).
By week 9, I had lost nealy 90 pounds(41 kg). Now I was down to 95 (43 kg)
By now I was skin and bones. I kept lossing the pounds, but I couldn’t understand because pretty much all of my fat had been bruned.
A few hours later, I got my answer.
One day, right before week 10, I collapsed and was rushed to the Emergancy Room with abdominal pain. They took an X-Ray to try and figure out what was wrong. While lookng over my scans, the doctor asked when the last time I ate.
I couldn’t give him a date. I hadn’t eaten all day, and not yesterday either. But it wasn’t intentional. After starting the medication, I haven’t been once hungry.
It wasn’t anorexia, it couldn’t be. Because I wasn’t restricting carlories intentionally like that. In fact, I had even let myself slide in recent weeks, eating McDonalds for a few meals.
When the doctor finally came in, he looked very confused. “I remember you coming in complaining of kidny problems a few years ago, and we checked to see if anything was wrong. We couldn’t find anything, but…when did you get your left kidny removed?
“Excuse me?” “When did you get your left kidny removed?” he repeated. I hadn’t had my kidney removed, what was he talking about?
To get out of the hospital, and to not look crazy, I pretended thatI thought he meant my right kidney, which I had gotten removed last year. He seemed skeptical, but it was a busy day and they discharged me shortly afterwords.
I have never had any kidney removed. Or any surgery for that matter. My kiddney one day was just…gone.
Less than 24 hours later, I again work up with severe pain, this time in my tonsils. And like the left kidney, they were gone. Just, just fucking gone. One day I woke up without them.
That day was supposed to be my pill day, but I decided against it.
A few hours later, I got a call from my professor.
“The pills” he started “I stopped taking them.” “Yeah, I stopped.” I expected him to be angry, but he did a sigh of releife. “Good” he said “do you know what those pill were doing-“ “My left kidney and tonsils are gone” I replied before he could finish.
He deeply apologized for the situation, but there wasn’t a lot he could do. I should have been angry, but I was still in too much shock to comprehend what had happened.
I guess the good news is that no-one died. Some lost a kidney, a lung, an apendix, tonsil stones, a gulblatter, but nothing vital was taken. Only one lung or one kidney.
When we met again, he assured me that the pills had been destroyed, and that their work failed to get approval from the FDA. The lab was shut down he said, and their notes burned.
As for me, I’ve gained a lot of the weight back. I have gained some of it back, but through diet and exercise, I’m now at 135 pounds (61 kg), and have been relatively steady ever since.
Since that day, I haven’t woken up with any pain. I’m here, breathing several months later, so clearly my other kidney or some other vital organ hasn’t gone missing, thankfully.
As for the pills themselves, I still have the 5 left in my desk. After I’m done posting this, I am going to flush them down the toilet.