Hello scavengers of the internet. My name is Jason, and I’m 17 years old. Introduction aside, you might be confused by the title and for good reason. Teleport? This guy can’t teleport. Well, as a matter of fact, I can. I’ve had it since birth too. And I guess you can say I’ve done some…“morally questionable” things. Anyways, that isn’t what this story is about. I think it was around May of 2023 last year. It was summer, so I was spending every last second of it doing things I’ve never done before. Such as taking a vacation in Japan, teleporting to Epstein’s island which I wish I didn’t see the things I saw, skydiving from I don’t know how high into the air, and you know….robbing banks. Okay that one was a joke.
Anyways, back on track. I was getting bored as I’ve practically been everywhere and done things most people could only dream of. So one night, I was walking back home with friends, lost in thought. As my friends chatted back and forth, I got an idea. What if I had tried to teleport somewhere that didn’t exist in our universe? A place that didn’t obey physics. See, the way my ability works, is that I need tool onhave an understanding of where I wanted to teleport and a vision of it. For examp9/I le, if I wanted to teleport to Mars, I would have to REALLY understand the place if I wanted to go there. This stupid rule stops me from teleporting anywhere I want willy-nilly. However, two years or so back, I would end up finding a loophole to this rule. This rule is literally based on interpretation. I could make some bullshit reasoning that I would gain understanding upon arrival or gain understanding through completely ridiculous superficial knowledge. It also means that I can just use past memories as an intuitive grasp of a place as “understanding.”
Now, enough of the explanation. I pulled out my phone, trying to recall any fictional places I could teleport to. And I did find one. My favorite childhood game, Super Mario 64. It was a great choice and clearly defied physics on a large-scale. So I pulled up an image of Princess Peach’s castle from the original game and got a good look of it. Now, all I had to do was bullshit a reason, which wasn’t anything hard for a highschooler. With everything done, it was finally time to teleport to Super Mario 64. For me, trying to teleport is like when you kind of wiggle your ears, if you can wiggle your ears. It’s like a hidden bone that you can’t directly move and only a few actually have the ability to do it, like burping on command which is another thing I can do. I focused on trying to teleport, and after a couple of seconds, boom! It all suddenly goes dark. While my vision was promptly removed, I could still hear and feel everything that was going on. At first, it was just a constant sound of wind running past my ears. Then, it was the loud jarring sound of static and glitching.
I didn’t know what was going on but it was extremely disorienting. And for the record, nothing like this has happened before. It was just proof that the teleportation was somewhat working, or at least I hoped so. After about a minute, I suddenly found myself standing in a grass plains. I looked up, gasping in awe as Princess Peach’s castle towered over me. It had worked. I was in Super Mario 64. I walked inside the castle, the palace was just as I remembered it. I walked through one of the doors, seeing a giant bob-omb painting hanging against the wall. And of course, like any other would, I sprinted towards and leaped. Surprisingly, it didn’t end up with me smacking into the wall. In fact, I had just dolphin dived through the painting. My vision faded into white for a couple of seconds before I found myself in the first level of Super Mario 64, Bob-omb Battlefield. Soon afterwards, a black box of text appeared in front of me but disappeared too fast before I could actually read it.
I looked around. Everything was here like I remembered it. The goombas, the chain-chomp, and the king bob-omb standing tall on the mountaintop. Of course, I knew what my objective was, see what happens when I gain a star. Might I say that the physics from Super Mario 64 also applied to me, meaning I can do bljs, pick up bob-ombs twice my size, and take no fall damage. After a couple of minutes of fooling around, I finally made it to the top of the mountain, facing the bob-omb king. He said something, but the box was of unintelligible letters, I couldn’t read it. I shrugged it off and made quick work of him, throwing him aside exactly 3 times. On the final throw, he hit the ground and fell on his side, saying something that I couldn’t read again. Then, he proofed into thin-air and a star was there in his place.
Excitedly, I picked up the star, feeling the warmth and golden brilliance of it in my hand. It all faded to black again and I found myself back in the castle. With the star I had gained earlier, I could now unlock and enter one of the rooms with a 1 star requirement. I entered a random room, a giant painting of a snowman hanging against the wall. Like before, I leaped into the painting, being transported to the next level. If I remember correctly, this level is called: “Cool, Cool Mountain.” I beat that level pretty quickly, gaining another star in under an hour. Even when I would accidentally send the baby penguin flying to his death, or when I slipped off the sliding parts. Anyways, as I grabbed another star, I was once again sent back to the castle.
I swiftly unlocked another room and walked inside. But then, something strange happened. Half of the room was missing. What I mean by that, is that from the door to where the painting was supposed to be, was a black void. I was freaked out and didn’t understand why this happened. But I might have a theory now of why that happened then. As you know, the rule to teleport is based on interpretation, it wasn’t absolute. And seeing as I used my memories to “understand” this place, then it suddenly makes sense. I hadn’t played Super Mario 64 since I was nine years old. That would mean my memory was lacking. The only two levels I actually remember would have been bob-omb Battlefield and Cool, Cool mountain.
As I looked into the void, I could faintly see something standing in the distance. Without warning, it suddenly appeared closer and gave me a fright, close enough to where I could describe some of its features. The thing had no skin. I could see its skull poking out the near pitch-black cloak that stretched down to its feet. Its skull didn’t look human by any means either. It faintly resembled the skull of a goat, its horns extruding out of the back of its head sharply. It began slowly floating towards me and I was too petrified to move. It opened its cloak, thousands of skulls and other body parts spewing out of it as some grotesque river of sinew and blood. When it came into contact with me, I screamed and I became unconscious. When I woke back up, I was in the hospital. And apparently, I suddenly fell unconscious while walking with my friends, even though I was sure that I had teleported. After that incident, I wasn’t able to teleport for 2 weeks and I had decided not to do something like that again. 1 month later, my curiosity got to its peak again, and I thought, ‘Could I teleport back in time?’.
I mean, theoretically it should be possible if I was able to teleport to a place that didn’t exist. However, I was so freaked about that thing I came into contact to, that I would end up holding back the idea until two months later. It was now September 11th. And that gave me an idea. Now, I know this might be morally wrong, but speaking here, 9/11 is an important piece of American history and is most likely the only one I would survive. Can’t teleport up to any of the world wars up close, I might just end up getting shot or eviscerated by a hydrogen bomb. That goes for any other like Pearl Harbor or Hiroshima, which I say rest in peace. 9/11 was a pretty modern incident too. I mean, its only about a decade from now. Realistically, I could survive seeing 9/11 up close. So, having made up my mind, I decided to teleport to the time of 11. 9/11 is too big for me not to understand it nor have a vision of it, so the requirements were completed with ease. Again, I focused on the feeling of teleporting, and boom! Once again, it all went dark. Like last time, it was just a constant sound of wind running past my ears. Then, it was the loud jarring sound of static and glitching.
Then, I suddenly found myself standing in the streets of New York city. Once again, my experiment was a success. But just to make sure, I tapped someone on the shoulder to ask them a question.
“What year is it?”
The person turned around me, looking slightly confused.
“2011. Why do you ask?”
It really had worked! This was a revelation for me. I was already starting to imagine all the things I could do with this new knowledge. However, those thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an explosion, causing me to jump in fright. I turned around, noticing that one of the towers were on fire. Screams of people began to fill the air as rubble fell from the sky. I looked up, not noticing in time as the rubble crashes directly into me, knocking me unconscious. Now by all means, that blow should have killed me. But by some miracle, I survived. I regained consciousness moments after, but not back in the hospital like last time. I found myself under a piece of rubble, smoke disorienting vision. I coughed and struggled to get the rubble off of me. With a surge of strength, I was finally able to push the rubble off, standing up with my body throbbing in pain. I looked around, noticing bodies of people crushed unde rubble laid about in a checker pattern. There’s no way this would have happened randomly, it must have been done in purpose. The two towers that once proudly towered over me was now gone and replaced by a tower of skulls.
I turned around, seeing that black void once again. And that thing was there again. A mountain of skulls sat behind him, feeling me with a sense of unease and dread. It just stared at me, before speaking for the first time ever. . “All these people are asleep.”
He paused, suddenly appearing 5 ft in front of me, staring me dead with the endless void it had as eyes. I was once again petrified. I tried to teleport back home, but it wasn’t working. I wanted to go, I wanted to be anywhere but here. Anywhere but here. Then, suddenly, I felt my body stretching backwards and I was suddenly hurled through a building. My vision was removed but shortly came back, exposing my mind to random flashing of colors and incomprehensible images. I was suddenly being transported to everywhere at once. My body began stretching and shaping into impossible forms as I tried to scream but had no mouth. I can faintly remember some of the places I was transported to within a fraction of a second. I was first at this, supermarket, then I was in a cave, or a mine. It’s hard for me to remember. Then without warning, I suddenly found myself standing outside of a bedroom door. The door was drawn in crayon, and labeled as, “Jason’s Room.”
Silently, I walked into the room, seeing a kid sleeping in his bed peacefully.
It was me.
I could hear a sudden click of the closet being opened, as I turned towards it. I could see a person slowly hover out, glitching sporadically. It was someone wearing a costume. They had on a security jacket and their head was replaced by a big yellow face smiling from cheek to cheek. Black ooze dripped out of its face, specifically its eyes and its mouth. Stopping just at the foot of my bed, it turned towards me before raising its index finger to its mouth.
“Shh…”
The door closed behind me as I could feel cold hangs grip my shoulder. I can’t breathe.
…
…As of 2024, February 4th, I have been taking therapy. I don’t know if I can teleport anymore. And I don’t know if I ever will want to again. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.