The other night when I and my husband were at dinner, I realised he didn’t love me anymore I saw it in his eyes, his eyes were so apathetic when he looked at me. When the appetising food arrived I picked up on his wandering eye and realised how lonely I felt. How lonely we both felt. I’ve been studying lobotomy recently for my major as I want to become a neurosurgeon. My mind kept on flashing to pictures from my textbook, the piercing and machinery specifically. I started to contemplate that I may be more loved if I performed a forced lobotomy on him.
When we got back home from our dinner, he headed to the bathroom to shower and freshen up. I freshened up and got the electric screwdriver from our garage & put it next to our bed. I switch the lights off and we lay on our bed ready to be swallowed by the darkness sleep offers us. I wait for him to fall asleep & it takes approximately seven minutes. I picked up the screwdriver tentatively & am reminded that if he forgets her, maybe he could love me again and vehemently fuck me the way he used to.
I’m a couple of inches away from his left temple and turn it on. It was louder than I expected so I pressed it as quick as I could into his head but it jammed and stop spinning. He woke up and look at me, no longer with apathy but with confusion and panic.
He said “ what are you doing? Maya did you just try to fucking put a screwdriver in my fucking head?” and I start to laugh awkwardly and said “ are you insane? Do you think that I would ever do something like that?” he said “I felt it pressed against my head,” I said “I was trying to see if it still worked so we can assemble the new side table we are getting tomorrow. why are you so worried? do you think I’m capable of that just because I know you’ve been fucking Jessica, I saw you meet her at Soho house and then uber back to a hotel room”. He then stands up and picks up the screwdriver and says “I fucking knew you were trying to kill me.” I said “ wrong, I was trying to get you to love me. I would kill for you even if it ends up being you to reserve our love forever”.
He picks up the screwdriver, reassembles the gear and starts turning it on and says “well, too late I love her and we fuck like every day is our last day on earth.” I want to feel his blood gushing out of his throat, while he tries to say my name for the last time. He gets the screwdriver to turn on and starts charging at me. I run towards the door and he grabs my arm before I could unlock the door. Pushes me to the floor, sits on me and starts aiming the screwdriver towards my right temple. The lampshade is on the side table right next to me. I pull it up from the cord until I have the body of the lampshade in my fist and I hit his head with extreme force. He groans & I push him off, go on him and start strangling him with the lampshade cord until he starts regaining power over me. So I pick up the screwdriver and successfully drill his head in until I hear a thump sound which was his skull. He was unresponsive, I call the police & charges got dropped after an 8-month long court/investigation process, with my defence being self-defence.
6 years later, i am officially a neurosurgeon. I’m happily married with a newborn and the man i married is the brother of Jessica. She doesn’t know I know about the affair between her and my ex-husband but I am having raging images of lobotomy again. He doesn’t love me anymore. His eye is wandering. She doesn’t love me anymore. Jessica’s eye is wandering. I finally understand why he loved her more than me after all.