I had a drug problem, and I lived a very chaotic live. I frequently went to bars just to do cocaine with friends and fight people in the bar.
One of my female friends was very concerned about my way of living. I said that it really wasn’t that bad. But one day when I got very high on cocaine and I crashed my motorcycle in a farmfield somewhere and laid there until sunrise, I knew it was time to try to change my life. The female friend, named Emma, was very reliefed that I had the courage to ask her for help.
She immediately started to figure stuff out to help me, and after a while she told me she found a program somewhere in the mountains deep in the forest that helped people get rid of their addictions.
The name of the program was ‘‘Pure Order’’. I was a bit sketchy at first, but I love the mountains and nature so I thought I could always give it a try.
The only problem, was that I was from New Jersey, and the program was in Montana. But Emma was willing to pay along for the trip, and she’d even come with me to drop me off to make sure I arrived safely.
At the airport, a car, that was part of the Pure Order program, would take us there. The driver was a man in a suit, with combed black hair, a well kept goatee and mustache. He was wearing a dress shirt, suspenders and cowboy boots.
It was a peculiar look that I instantly noticed. It was a very hipster look, but also a very country look. It was a 5 hour, if not more, ride from the airport to the place where the Pure Order program was. It was very deep in the woods and mountains, and very far away from civilization.
When we arrived, I saw 10 feet high walls, made out of wooden beams, with barbed wire at the top. It kinda looked like a military camp to me, but also like a scouting camp. It was close to a very big lake, surrounded by a dense forest.
The big wooden doors opened, and a nice dressed gentleman was standing in the door opening. Also with suspenders, big beard, combed hair, tinted glasses, nice white dress shirt, a black Bolo tie, and a suit jacket.
I noticed some kind of dress code, but I thought that was to tell the staff members apart from the people. The man who greeted me was a very nice man, and super welcoming. Then we heard a gunshot in the distance, and I saw birds fly up from the treelines.
The man was obviously startled by the gunshot, and me and Emma looked at each other. The man said ‘‘Its hunting season, we take the people outside hunting as one of the many outdoor activities we have around the camp’’ in a laughing tone with a smile.
The man welcomed me in, and Emma was not allowed in since she wasn’t part of the Pure Order program, so they politely asked her to leave. And the driver would take her back to the airport.
The man talked to me for a bit, while we walked to my bed where I could put my stuff and ‘‘Make myself’’ at home. I walked into one of those typical summer camp sleeping places, with two rows of bunk beds on each side of the walls, once again very military like.
The man noticed the look on my face and he told me not to worry, as we would only sleep here, and we would be doing activities all day.
Lastly he asked me if he could have my phone, so I’m not distracted by the outside world and we can focus on me getting better instead. I was hesitant at first, but the way he said it just made sense, and before I thought about it I handed over my phone.
Not that my phone had any signal anyway.
He asked that if I had any questions, I could always ask him. I was scared to ask questions but for some reason I just blurted out all the questions I had.
I asked about the barbed wire, why we are so far away from civilization, why I had to hand my phone over even though I didn’t have any signal.
He politely told me that the barbed wire was because the wildlife would sometimes climb over the wooden walls. He told me we are so far away from civilization because they don’t want anyone to get the urge to get distracted by day to day society, and fall back into our old habits.
I had to hand over my phone because I would be distracted by it, even though I didn’t have any signal, they just wanted to be completely sure that I would get better.
That night we would gather around the campfire, the staff members were there, and the other people in the program. The staff introduced me, and I was kinda awkwardly sitting there, but the other people in the program were very inviting as well.
They told me about the program, they had big smiles on their faces and they looked genuinely happy. They showed interest in me, asking me where I came from, what my goal was, told me about their issues and how the program have really helped them so far.
I felt like I wasn’t alone, and that I could actually be helped. Almost all my suspicion disappeared. The heat of the fire was getting a bit hot, so I took off my flannel, revealing some of my tattoos. People in the group were very interested in my tattoos.
I had a tribal tattoo that looked like waves, with a boat sailing on the waves. I said it was because one of my best friends was in the navy, and he sadly lost his life in was, and I had the tattoo out of respect for him.
One of the staff member showed me his tattoo. It was a tattoo on his forearm. It looked like a ‘‘Phi’’ symbol from the Greek alphabet, but instead of the circle, it was an eye. He said he got the tattoo when he ‘‘Reached enlightenment’’.
I didn’t know what that meant, but you know, I don’t judge, we all got our things, and I was just happy he ‘‘reached his enlightenment’’.
As I was getting ready for bed, one of the other people in the program came up to me and told me ‘‘Welcome to the program, one piece of advice, make sure to smile.’’ I thought he meant that we had to smile so we don’t bring down the mood for the other people and we keep things positive.
So I brushed off what he said, and made sure to keep a positive mindset.
The next day we did all kinds of activities, we painted, we went fishing, we had a couple (Non alcoholic) drinks and it was a very good experience.
When I was getting another drink from the cooler, one of the staff members came up to me, saying that I had a very rough look, with the tattoos and I had a cut in my eyebrow from a bar fight when someone pulled out a knife and tried to cut my face.
I told him about the fight I’ve gotten in, and said that I could ‘‘basically defend myself’’. He said that if I’d like, I could sign up for a boxing match that would be happening that night. He said that they would have boxing matches, so the people could blow off some steam, and since I had a history of fighting he thought it would be something for me. I was actually very excited, so I decided to sign up.
That night I put on the boxing gloves and fought one of the other people in the program. It was a close match but I managed to win. He was laying on the ground, still consious. As I was celebrating they told me to ‘‘End the fight’’.
I had a very confused look on my face, the fight ended, he coulnd’t fight anymore and I won. But every staff member kept chanting ‘‘End the fight’’. I realised I had to kill him. The man that welcomed me at the door, told everyone to be quiet and he told me ‘‘End the fight, prove to yourself that you have what it takes to make a change. Otherwise you don’t have what it takes, and we would be forced to take matters in our own hands.’’ while putting one hand on a revolver. When I looked around, I saw the other people in the program just silently looking at me. Their eyes looked empty. All of them knew what had to be done, because they were once in my spot.
I realised that if I didn’t kill the man in front of me, I would be the one that would not make it out of here. I looked at the mans face, he had this facial expression that begged me for mercy, but he also understood what had to be done. I shut off my mind, and my survival instinct just took over. I killed that man with my bare hands.
I came to the realisation that this wasn’t a program to help people get better. This is a cult. And now that I killed that man, I had officially joined the cult.
I walked up to the man who greeted me at the gate the next day, as I got the impression that he was most likely the leader of the cult. I overheard some staff members drop the name ‘‘Head of Order Edgar’’, so as I walked towards him I said ‘‘Edgar?’’ and he looked up and asked what was wrong?
I tried to maintain calm but couldn’t really contain myself and I asked ‘‘What the fuck was that all about yesterday?’’ in a very shaken voice. Edgar told me that I had to choose a new path in life, that I had to make a change in my life, and have the strength to make a life or death decision. As the was telling me these things, I noticed the ‘‘Phi’’ tattoo in Edgar’s neck. The exact same one the other fella showed me before.
I looked at him with a scared but understanding face, while in my mind all I could think was ‘‘These guys are absolutely nuts.’’ I knew I had to escape somehow, even though it could be my death with all the wildlife out there, I had to at least try.
The next few days I went along with all their activities, while trying to figure out the patterns of the cult members. I managed to find an oppurtunity to escape. I noticed that every night, after all the program members would go to sleep, the cult members would gather around and they would have a few drinks.
I knew it was risky as it would be very easy to detect me if I were to sneak out, but I had to try.
So after a couple nights, I gathered the courage to sneak out. I slightly opened the door and I noticed the cult members gathered around the campfire. There were even more cult members then I thought, all dressed in the dress shirts, long beards, suspenders etcetera. I sneaked out of the cabin and the door cracked as I opened it.
The cult members heard the sound but brushed it off, but they did stay on their guard. I thought about sneaking back inside the cabin but I knew this had to be my moment, now I had the courage to make a move. I decided to keep going, and sneak towards a weaker spot in the wooden walls.
As I got closer to the wooden wall, a dog in a cage started barking at me. I panicked and kicked down the weak part of the wall and managed to get out of the walls. I felt so free, but I wasn’t out there yet. I didn’t have time to think and I heard the cult members scream and load weapons.
I didn’t think about anything, I just started running, and I heard the screaming get further and further away. I just kept running, I had no idea what way I was running, where I was, it was pitch dark, I guess around 3 am. I heard bullets whizzing by my head, bullets hitting the trees, right next to me.
I zigzagged and all my legs could do was just run. I kept hearing the screaming in the distance, then it got closer and closer and I kept hearing bullet whizzing by. Then out of nowhere, I felt a sharp pain in my leg, I tried to get up but my leg felt heavy, I thought I was struck by as bullet, but my leg got caught in a bear trap. I tried to pry it open, I screamed from the pain, the screaming from the cult members got closer and closer. My heart was raising. And as I looked up I was looking directly into the face of a cult member, with his weapon leaning on his shoulder. He didn’t look happy.
They dragged me through the woods, like I was some kind of animal. They said that they had a place for ‘‘people like me’’. They dragged me to a tiny shed deep into the woods. It had no windows, just some very small holes in the wood of the shed that let some light from the upcoming sun in.
They strapped me to a chair, and put tape over my mouth. I heard the sound of a shotgun getting cocked behind me. I felt a very cold metal rod getting pushed into the side of my head, the barrel of the shotgun. I was breathing very heavily, I couldn’t scream. I felt one single tear roll down my face.
As I looked through one of the holes in the shed, I was looking at the sunrise. I heard a gunshot, and all my pain disappeared. All I could see was Edgar welcoming new people at the gate, as he smiled and said ‘‘Aahhh, hunting season.’’