Link to Part One: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/106r4ek/i_can_safely_say_that_monsters_are_real_they_call/
I wish I had a better introduction for you all this time, but I’m just done with everything right now. I’m late to posting this for reasons that will become apparent. Thankfully, I have more determination than ever to make sure my story gets out into the world. I’m not going to promise when I’ll post again, just know that I will. I’ll at least update you guys once a week at the minimum. Which I guess is a promise in its own right. Whatever.
Right now I’m going to finish this up and go to bed early. I’m going to figure out how to control this fucking spider, one way or another.
Wish me luck everyone. Thank you all so much.
Friday 06 Jan
The spider finally woke up shortly around noon as I was laying in bed, reading through wiki articles on my phone. I could tell it was awake before it even spoke. Like a sense in my mind. I could also feel that it was more… under control I suppose is the right phrase. The feeling is hard to describe, but I’d say it’s like feeling how tight your feet and legs are when wearing stockings or tights. That tightness, I could feel it where the spider was adhered to my body.
I had spent part of the night preparing myself for this. The first exchange with the spider. My plan was to be friendly with it. It had saved my life in a way yesterday. I figure I at least owe it some level of kindness in that regard.
Before I could get a word in, the spider telepathically spoke. “You have kept us alive while I slept. You are proving to be very useful.” The spider attempted to lift its leg causing a moderate itching sensation on my shoulder. The spider looked at me confused and lifted the leg again once more to no success. “I assume humans also sleep? Did you rest while I was incapacitated?”
Looking back it was an odd thing for it to ask but in the moment I answered truthfully. I thought back to the spider, as I had last night, and sure enough it seemed to work. “Yes. I fell asleep some hours ago and have been awake for a few hours as well.” I could feel the spider acknowledge my words, but it said nothing further. I rolled onto my back and asked. “If I lie like this… does it hurt you at all?”
After a moment, the spider replied curtly with a “No.” and I felt an itching sensation in my shoulder. “It does limit my senses though. Assuming another threat comes about, it would be wise for you to allow me full use of my capacities.”
I sighed to myself and rolled over onto my left side giving the spider some “air”. I was still in my undershirt from last night but quickly tore it off so I could look at the spider better. It looked the same as last night. Aside from being completely 2 dimensional, it looked like a dark, black, fuzzy, now-the-size-of-my-hand spider was sitting on my shoulder.
“What about without my shirt on? Is there any difference in your senses? I can’t promise I will stay shirtless often, but it would be good to know. Like you said, if there are other threats. For the moment though, we should be safe. We are in my home and it is very secure.”
“Your body covering makes no difference to me. I can see through them regardless. It is your physical body that is difficult to see through. So when you lay on me…” The spider paused and left the thought hanging.
“My name is Kai.” I offered after a few moments. “Do Eidolons have names? Or at the very least what should I call you?”
The spider seemed to think about this for a moment. Eventually, it replied with a blast of emotions and thoughts. I could feel mixes of hunger and insatiable gorging, like you would feel at a buffet after spending a day with no food. There were also thoughts about cunning, stealthy strategies, and a few thoughts about what I assumed were large kills this thing had made. It all came in such a rush that the details were lost on me. To a degree I was left reeling from the thoughts for a solid few seconds before the spider spoke up again. “That is how I would address myself to another Eidolon. The Eidolon in turn would address themselves in kind. I have never met an Eidolon that uses words to convey a sense of self. Is this word based identification a Human property?”
“Yes. We have words called names that we use to identify ourselves and others. My name, as I mentioned, is Kai. Whatever you just did was a little too…” I thought hard about my next words before settling on, “difficult for me to recreate. Ideally, given the nature of our situation I would like to use a name to refer to you.”
The spider moved about again on my flesh, sending an itch across my shoulder. I withheld reaching back to scratch, less I anger this thing. After a moment the spider thought back, “Call me by whatever name you see fit. I do not care.”
The spider tried to move a bit more and this time I could feel a burning sensation in my deltoid as I could see the flat print of the spider attempting to lift its left front leg from my skin. Like last night, the skin lifted with the spider’s leg so I quickly tried to distract the being.
“Kogane. I want to call you Kogane then. It means ‘great spider’’ in one of our human languages.” I hoped that by appealing to its ego I could establish a good rapport with it. In truth though it was the name of my pet Tarantula my foster parents bought me for my 11th birthday.
The spider was silent for a moment before it began to crawl along the surface of my body. Like a migrating 2 dimensional print, it inched up over my shoulder and came to rest in the middle of my chest. I rolled back over onto my back and looked at the spider eye to eye. “This is acceptable.” it nodded its head, and after a moment added. “I will commit those ‘names’ to memory, human Kai.”
Beyond that exchange, not much conversation happened today. Annoyingly, Kogane began to explore where he could move to on my body and seemed to be testing the limits of my ability to keep him restrained. Every few moments he would make some random part of my body itch or burn as he tried to lift himself free of my skin. It also seems that water doesn’t affect Kogane at all. I was able to shower with no issue from either of us.
It’s getting late and I am going to try and sleep. I informed Kogane of my sleep schedule and he seemed to at least acknowledge my need for sleep. I’m feeling really drained, not exactly tired, but I have had little energy to think all day today. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will help.
Saturday 07 Jan
Fuck Kogane.
That asshole kept me awake all night. Between its escape attempts and insistence that I free it so it can feed; I barely slept at all. At one point in the night I almost gave in and just released it. However, good judgment came to me in time and I realized that letting a monster roam my apartment while I slept was a bad thing. Fortunately it seems even Kogane needs to sleep as at about 7am it finally stopped and I was able to get a few hours of rest. Am writing this as I just woke up around noon. I’m going to make some breakfast and try to get on with my day. I’ll talk to Kogane when it wakes up.
Kogane began to awaken a little after 1pm.
Fuck this spider!
It doesn’t give a shit about me or my need to sleep. I tried to rationally explain my sleep schedule and it just waved it off. Stating that “your affairs will mean nothing to me once I am free of your body”. Now it’s demanding that I take it out of the house so it can examine more humans.
How am I supposed to go to work tomorrow if it won’t let me sleep? (Just take the extra day and call in. You will figure out something Kai.)
And what if it does break free somehow? I apparently can keep it contained in my sleep, so hopefully that means I have complete control over it. (If It breaks free of your control, as long as you did your best that’s all that matters. You are doing your best given the circumstances.)
What if it starts to torture me though? Cause me pain and mental torment! How will I survive that? Will I give in? Fuck. (You are strong Kai! You got this!)
Why did this happen? (I don’t know, but you are going to make the most of it.)
I stayed inside all day today. I was trying to do research on the word Eidolon but didn’t really get anywhere. Most of it was shit for Final Fantasy games and other nonsense. I wish I could risk a smoke for my nerves, but I don’t want to be high and have this thing take advantage of me. That or get my anxiety cranked to an 11. Such is the fickle mistress Mary Jane.
I’m sincerely hoping that Kogane lets me sleep tonight. I’m still feeling so drained. It’s like I can barely bring myself to feel. Andrew left a huge mess in the kitchen this morning and normally I’d chew him out, but I couldn’t muster the anger. I feel like I’m in a mental haze.
I can afford to miss a day of work, but I’d rather avoid it. I just want to return to some sort of normalcy. Even if it’s just morning shifts at [Redacted].
Sunday 08 Jan
Last night was so much worse. This damned thing won’t shut up about needing to eat.
“What exactly is it that you eat?” I asked last night around 1am. Fully accepting that it wasn’t going to let me get a shred of sleep.
“Our food is thought and emotion. My kind specifically drains the energy from a creature until it’s reduced to nothing. With humans being physical though I do not know what would happen. Which is why I wish to test on a human I am unable to eat you in our current state. Which is why I need you to bring me a human I can examine and try to devour. The one living with you would be a perfect candidate.”
“I’m not going to let you eat or examine anyone.” I said with a sigh. “How does that even work? Eating thoughts and emotions? And what happens to an Eidolon’s body after you finish?”
“There are no bodies left. We are not like you humans.” It scoffed and seemed offended. It refused to answer my other questions so I dropped it and tried to sleep.
I am going to do everything in my power to keep Kogane in check. First thing though is figuring out how to feed it without killing anyone. I have no idea how that would work currently.
I just ignored Kogane for the rest of the night and eventually got up at 4 to call in sick to work. I’ve been typing, researching, and weighing what I want to do about this. I have seen Kogane looking at my computer screen, it’s doing it right now as I type. I don’t think it can read English, thankfully. So at least these written thoughts are safe from it.
I wish I wasn’t so damn tired. I’d do just about anything, beyond releasing Kogane, to get a good night’s sleep. Thankfully it seemed that I had been given some kind of reprieve. Kogane went to “sleep” around 6am this time. I wanted to fall asleep but I’m too caught up rereading my Journal entry from Thursday.
I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now and I finally decided to post what happened to me on Thursday. At this point the world needs to know about what is going on. I’m gonna keep updating with my journals as things progress. Maybe I can get some kind of help in all this. After that I’m going to try to sleep.
My nap went surprisingly well. I slept in until around 3pm. Kogane was awake, but didn’t disturb me. Maybe it’s given up the fight? I decided not to engage with it for fear of angering it.
Andrew approached me about my behavior this weekend. I’ve been ignoring Andrew for fear of having Kogane expose itself. It would seem though being revealed isn’t an issue. During our conversation I watched in horror as Kogane crawled onto my exposed arm and watched Andrew and I converse. Andrew showed no indication that he could see Kogane.
I told my roommate that I was just really tired from last week and that I might be getting the stomach bug that is going around. He bought the lie and warned me that he was gonna have a guy over tonight. I told him it’s fine and excused myself from the conversation.
Deciding to test an idea, I took a picture of Kogane with my phone. Sure enough, Kogane doesn’t show up on my camera. I couldn’t see Kogane through my phone, but weirdly the camera was trying to focus right on it. Like the camera could see Kogane, but wasn’t able to render it on the screen.
Monday 09 Jan
Fuck. What do I even say? I’ve been sitting here crying at my computer for 10 minutes trying to write something. How the fuck can I relive what happened today? At this point I’m just streaming consciousness into the keys of the keyboard. I need to write this out or it’s going to haunt me worse than it already will.
My biggest fucking mistake was assuming everything was fine when I woke up. Kogane let me sleep through the night. That should have been a massive red flag. I was just so thankful for the sleep that I wasn’t thinking straight. I should have remembered Kogane begging me for contact with other people. I shouldn’t have gone to work, but I had to try.
I got ready for my 6am shift like it was any other day. Save for a brief conversation with Kogane. “Alright. Thank you for letting me sleep last night. I am going to go to work. I’m confident that people can’t see you. I’m also assuming from the talk with Andrew last night that you can’t do anything to a person I’m near. Would that be correct?”
I could feel Kogane think about its response for a moment before ultimately replying, “That is correct. I tried to drain the Andrew but was unable to extend my ability beyond my own self. If I were in my normal state, we would have been close enough that I could have started to feed.”
“Look, I want to make sure you can get fed. I am truthful in my promise. I do not want to hurt you Kogane. We need to work together though. Once I am off work I have an idea how you may be able to feed.” I could feel Kogane’s excitement build. I added swiftly, “We need to wait until I am off work and we can head over to the mall.”
“This mall… is it a feeding ground?”
“It may be. If what you just said was correct, about feeding from a distance. I am going to try and release you only a little. Instead of fully like the other day.”
“Planning to test your abilities on me? If it gets me fed then so be it. It is difficult to feed from too far away however. Energy is lost in the distance, but…” The spider paused its thought for a moment before continuing in a pleasant tone. “I am sure we can come up with something.”
Red flag number 2. Why the fuck did I think this god damned sociopathic spider would actually go along with my plans? I should have realized that Kogane was being too nice. I should have realized a lot of things, but I didn’t.
Now an innocent woman is dead because of me.
My work day started off well. Aside from a bit of shit from Nicole for having to cover me, no one cared about me being out sick. I was in A hall today and that meant having to deal with Mrs. C and Mr. H. The two main problem residents of A hall.
Mr. H isn’t all that bad for a guy like me because I can easily move him around. However, for the smaller girls that work the hall he can be a bit of a hassle to work with. His dementia isn’t too far along, but he’s completely bedridden due to his size and weakened condition. Meaning, he needs to be manually moved around for brief changes and washings.
Mrs. C on the other hand was just a terror in general. She was highly combative, sometimes even with the women that work her hall. She had to be fed by hand and was a very fussy eater.
I can’t believe what happened. It was all so fast.
We had just finished lunch and I was taking my non ambulatory residents to their rooms. Three of my residents needed to go down for naps. I decided to finish with Mrs. C because I knew she was going to be trouble for me today. She barely ate anything and got applesauce all over my scrubs.
I put down my other two residents and made my way to Mrs. C’s room. She was right where I left her except she had pulled a doll off her bedside and was playing with it. She showed me the doll as I approached her and I smiled. “Alright my lovely lady. Time to lay down for a spell.” She nodded and kept playing with her doll.
“It is time for the pretty princess to lay down.” I said again and gestured at her lavishly covered bed. Pink and white pillows dotted the bed while a thick pink and gold duvet lay across the bed. I threw back the duvet gently and gestured to the bed, giving a slight bow.
As crazy as that sounds that was the best way to appease Mrs. C. From what I understand, her Alzheimer’s induced dementia reverted her mind back to a young age or at least that’s what I was told by the nurses. So for as long as she had been at the facility we treated her like a little princess to keep her happy.
Mrs. C nodded enthusiastically and wheeled herself over to the bed. She put the doll back on the table and looked up at me with open arms. I knew this meant she wanted assistance moving from surface to surface. I put on my gait belt and wrapped it around her before lifting her from her wheelchair to her bed. She tried to lay back on the bed, but was stopped by the belt still around the both of us.
This had happened in the past a few times, but I wasn’t expecting what happened next. Without warning she lashed out at me clawing at me with her uncut fingernails. Normally she wears pink gloves but she must have removed them while I was away from her room.
“Fuck.” I thought to myself as for the first time in days I was able to muster some form of emotion. “Damn woman…”
Without warning Kogane was free from my skin and had attached itself to Mrs. C’s neck. An overwhelming sense of relief and pleasure washed over me. Looking back I think I was feeling what Kogane was feeling and at that moment Kogane was content and feeding.
Within a few seconds I felt better than I had in days. My mental fog was gone and I could feel much of my exhaustion being washed away. I realized, even in that moment, that I had been emotionally drained since Friday and only now was I fully present. I don’t want to admit this, but I don’t lie when I write something.
It felt amazing. The rush of energy I was getting as Kogane fed felt better than anything I had felt before. Normally really good food will hit that dopamine itch, but this was like that only 10X.
The euphoria didn’t last long as a few seconds later I snapped back to what was happening. Mrs C was still sitting up on the bed, my gait belt restraining her to me. She was mere inches from my face. Her arms were slack at her sides and her eyes.
Her fucking eyes were staring into mine pleading me with every last ounce of will to help her. Those eyes were the most lucid I had ever seen them and they were screaming at me. “Please help me”.
I looked down to see Kogane still attached to her. It was 3D now and filled most of the room between myself and Mrs. C. It was glowing slightly in a pale blue light as it did whatever it was doing.
“That’s enough Kogane.” I thought to the spider as I reached down to try and undo the gait belt.
“No!” It roared at me, paralyzing me for a few seconds.
When my senses returned to me I could see Kogane was now actively biting into her neck. The glow intensified as did the euphoria I was fighting away.
“Stop it! I command you!” I yelled back to Kogane, grabbing at its form. I made physical contact with its body and started to pull. That only caused Kogane to sink its fangs deeper into her neck.
Mrs. C just stared at me with those fucking eyes. She pleaded for me to stop it. I could see the literal light leaving her eyes as they began to glaze over.
“STOP!”
I could see as her face was starting to pale and her jaw started to slack more.
“STOP IT!”
Kogane thought back “Why?”
I… I know why it asked me that. At the moment I didn’t. However, I know at this present moment though why the bastard asked me that. He knew I hated her. He could tell and he wasn’t wrong.
Yeah. I didn’t like that stupid bitch. She was a pain to deal with.
I didn’t want her dead though. I didn’t. No matter what that spider may think or say I did not want her dead.
Kogane didn’t care though.
I watched as the last flecks of light left her eyes. I was inches from her as she drew her last breath. I got a front row fucking seat to the death of a sweet, but troublesome old lady.
It’s been a few hours since that last paragraph. I… I wish I was numb again. Now that Kogane isn’t draining me though I am very aware of my emotions. I am distraught and anxious. Terrified, confused, fucking sick to my stomach and just so unbelievably pissed off.
Fuck you.
Fuck you. You sociopathic spider. I will never forgive you for making me watch that. I will never forgive you for taking that woman’s life. I’m so tired and I need to go to bed. I’ll decide what to do in the morning.
Tuesday 10 Jan
I never finished what happened after Kogane attacked Mrs. C yesterday. So I am going to get through that, edit these entries together and get ready to post again. Better late than never. Right?
I saw a comment on the first entry. Someone naively asked if Kogane is a pet. No. No it’s not. The world needs to know that Eidolons are monsters. I need to tell people about what happened. Even if it implicates me in a murder. I don’t care.
Once Kogane finished eating her it stopped resisting my commands to stop and melded back onto my body. I quickly undid the gait belt and ran to Mrs. C’s bathroom. After dry heaving a bit I started to formulate what to do next. I decided my best bet was to put her down like normal and then discover her dead during my last rounds.
So, I did just that. I finished laying her down and changed her briefs. I tucked her into bed and with shaky knees walked out of the room. I finished up checking on my last residents, grabbed my paperwork and hid in the lunchroom filling out paperwork until last rounds at 1:30pm. By this point I was coming down from things and while the numbness didn’t return I was able to keep myself cool as I went to check on residents.
Looking back I wonder if Kogane had anything to do with it. The spider was oddly quiet since its meal, though I could tell it was watching my every move. Something about how I felt in those moments felt unnatural, but I can’t quite place what was wrong.
I “discovered” Mrs. C had died in her bed and immediately rushed to tell the head nurse. She came to check on her and determined that she was in fact deceased. I was questioned, but lied and told the nurse that aside from being a bit sluggish when I was laying her down she seemed fine a few hours ago. I also added that she didn’t eat too much, which was true, just to help the case a bit. The head nurse started making calls and the other CNA’s, especially the veterans, began to comfort me.
I am not ashamed to admit that I broke down at their kindness. The nurse allowed me to leave a few minutes early. After spending some time crying in my car, for the second time in less than a week, I drove home. I moped about for a bit before starting my journaling. Stopping and starting as I could find the will to keep reliving those moments.
It’s morning now and I called into work. They believed me when I told them I was shook up. I am going to do everything in my power to post these entries tonight.