I (26F) wanted to do something fun with my son (5M) because he was having some rough times in school and really needed a distraction. So I figured going to a McDonald’s or Carl’s Jr or somewhere with a play place would be fun.
Problem was, when I looked on google maps, there was only one fast food place open in (roughly) 50 miles. This was my first red flag. The place was called “Bingo Starr Burgers and Fries” which I had never heard of before but I figured we should just go anyway for my son’s sake.
I tried to find out more about the restaurant but there were no reviews or photos of the place. Only an address and a website, which had a small blurb about the history of the business and an even smaller menu. It did mention a play place, though, and I was at my wits end at that point, tired of having to pick up my son early from school everyday.
I figured we could just go and he could eat and play for a while and if it was a dump we’d just head home. Maybe it’d lift his spirits and we could get a laugh out of it if it was that bad.
The drive there was pretty normal at first, but the amount of cars starting to thin out the closer we got. I figured it was just because the only people going this way at this point would just be getting to the restaurant.
When we arrived, the parking lot was completely deserted aside from a colorful van I assumed to be the company van, until we got out of the car and walked by it. It was a candy van, weird but again I stupidly assumed it was nothing.
The outside of the place was unsurprisingly rundown looking with cracked concrete and sun stains on the sign. What did suprise me was that the inside was actually really polished. The floors looked like the had just been put in with how spotless they were.
My son seemed a little put off by this clown statue they had (which really seemed like a rip off of the Ronald McDonald statues) other than that he was getting pretty excited. I sent him off to the play place that could be seen through a glass window while I ordered.
As I got closer to the counter to get a better look at their menu, I started to smell something very pungent.
I originally wrote it off as cleaning products, or something burnt in the kitchen. My son was happily playing in the other room, going down the slides. It took forever to drive here and I wanted him to have a good time.
The menu was small, consisting of only a few items that I remember word for word:
Original Bingo Burger. $3.00 Made from premium, organically sourced beef. Served on a sesame bun with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and our signature Bingo Sauce.
Rango’s Side of Fries. $2.00 Freshly made steak-cut potato fries. Comes with Ketchup or our signature Bingo Sauce.
Hingo’s BurFry Meal. $4.00 Premium deal: get our original burger and fries at a low price. Includes a drink.
Bingos Vegan Surprise. $5.00 100% animal meatless burger. 100% delicious. Comes with no cheese and without the Bingo Sauce.
Tringo’s Kiddy Meal. $2.00 6-piece chicken strip meal with a small side of fries and apple slices. Chicken raised locally, farm-to-table.
I was a little put off by this as I thought the naming was kind of weird. The menu itself looked like a child had made it, with bright eye-catching colors and stickers. There was probably a reason we were the only people in here besides the staff.
The person behind the register stared at me soullessly as he waited for me to order. It was only now that I fully realized what he was wearing.
He was obviously a teenager, with shaggy brown hair and a pale disposition, wearing a bright red clown nose and a pointed hat at least two sizes too big for him. His nametag was a plain white rectangle on his obnoxious-looking costume that just read “Ringo.”
“Are you going to order?” He said, voice cutting through the silence. I suddenly felt very awkward and my eyes darted from him to the menu sign to my son in the other room, who I could no longer see.
“Um, yes.” I said, stepping forward.
He killed me as soon as I asked if the vegan burger was gluten free.
Overall 5/10 the vegan burger was in fact gluten free but it was also solid concrete so idk.