So, where to begin? This is one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me in my life. I don’t talk about it anymore, but recently I’ve been having dreams about that night again, and it’s starting to fuck with me now. So let me turn my suffering into your entertainment. You will not believe me, and that is ok. Because I don’t even believe myself when I start remembering this shit.
When I was 17 years old I really enjoyed drugs. Weed, Pills, shrooms, acid, etc. Anything and everything besides Heroin and Meth I was willing to do. I was just a fucked up kid with a “boo-hoo” backstory trying to numb myself. You know the type. I had a friend around that time, we’ll call him Devin, who was the plug for EVERYTHING. Anything you needed, he had. So a few other friends and I used to hang out at his place all the time because, well, free drugs.
We spent a lot of time in Devin’s room. No, not like that, get your head out of the gutter. His room was, from floor to ceiling, a dedicated trip room. Think Extreme Makeover: Trippy Hippie edition. A wall dedicated for people to paint on, black lights, trippy posters, lava lamps, tie dye tapestries. A sound system where the bass vibrates through your bone marrow. A few mirrors around. And strobe lights. Those evil fucking strobe lights.
Now let’s talk about that night. It was Devin, my best friend Alex, and me. Oh, and don’t forget the 6 hits of acid. 2 hits each. Which I wouldn’t say is that insane, if anything, it was pretty normal to take at least 2. Before that night I didn’t know that all acid tabs are not created equally. But we found out pretty fast.
We were all just chilling in Devin’s room, listening to some music. I was painting on the paint wall, and Alex was staring at the stars on Devin’s ceiling. I’d say we were close to an hour in, all of us starting to feel pretty damn high.
Then Devin said, “Hey, you guys wanna see the new strobe light I got?”
“Hell yeah.” Alex and I responded in unison. Which sent all 3 of us into a nonsensical laughing fit.
Devin pulled out a dome-shaped light with a metallic base and placed it on his dresser. I continued painting and was also checking myself out in the full-body mirror that was next to me.
“Shut those lights off,” Devin instructed Alex.
Alex flipped the switch and as the room plunged into darkness, the air seemed to hold its breath. Then, with an abrupt burst of electric energy, the strobe light shattered the shadows. The world fractured into fragments, each moment illuminated with that searing white light. It was as if time itself had been sliced into staccato beats, revealing disjointed glimpses of reality.
It was beautiful. At least it was for about 30 seconds. After that, my brain freaked the fuck out. All I could see was the pulsating white light. Nothing else. I could hear my friends, but I couldn’t see them anywhere. The room itself seemed to just disappear right from underneath me.
“I can’t see!”
I heard Devin and Alex laugh in response. But where the hell were they? I remember feeling so disoriented. Literally couldn’t tell what was up and what was down.
“Seriously! Turn it of-“
I remember I cut myself off because I could feel myself falling. I had no idea which way I was going, but I knew that sensation. Everything had probably happened within a minute or so, but when I was falling it felt like hours. Maybe even days. Finally, I felt my back touch something and then heard the sound of glass shattering. Glass shards came and filled the electrified air showing shattered reflections of everything around. It kind of looked like rain. I realized while it was still happening that the glass was from the mirror I was just checking myself out in. I closed my eyes and embraced the rest of the fall, thinking for sure one of these pieces of glass was going to pierce my heart.
But that didn’t happen. Instead, I ended up submerged in frigid, murky lake water. It completely shocked my nervous system, and I immediately opened my eyes. The first thing I see are hands in the water coming at me. This caused me to panic because I thought someone was trying to drown me. So I kicked those hands away and made my way onto the land. I coughed up water and my eyes stung from the fish toilet bowl they had just been opened in. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the night sky.
First thought, Where the fuck am I?
As I’m trying to get my bearings together, Alex and Devin stroll into view.
“You ok bro?” Devin said in a worried tone.
I took a very deep breath and replied with a shaky voice, “Yeah, I’m good.” Then I paused for a moment before asking, “Where the fuck are we?”
Devin looked at Alex, I could tell he was worried.
“Man, you sure you feelin’ alright? You took a nasty ass fall. Want us to run you home?” Devin suggested.
“Nah, man. I’m good. Just trippin’ way too hard right now. Give me a minute.” I said while closing my eyes.
Weird circumstances, but it did feel great to be out there. I could feel the cold glow of the moonlight on my skin. I could hear the soft zephyrs whispering through the trees around me. I truly felt at one with nature in that moment. If I could’ve, I would’ve stayed there forever. But my friends were waiting on me so that peace could only last so long.
When I opened my eyes, I was lying on my back in the chip aisle of a Walmart. The moon and stars that were right above me moments ago were replaced with abrasive fluorescent lighting. I stared up at those lights for a few moments not even thinking. Just being.
I eventually chose to sit up, but as I rested on my right forearm, a searing pain shot through the entire limb. I winced. pulled the arm to myself and inspected it. A tiny piece of glass was stuck in my forearm. Huh, so that did happen. I picked it out and flicked it down the aisle, all while looking around to see if Alex or Devin were around. No sign of them. I pushed myself up, got on my feet, then took stock of my surroundings.
I noticed I had tons of tiny cuts all over my arms. I’m guessing from the mirror. My clothes were still damp and smelled of swamp water, My jeans and shirt were both covered in splotches of blood. When I noticed that I panicked and searched my pockets for my phone which was nowhere to be found. Neither was my wallet. At that point, I was done and was ready to go home so I left the aisle and went looking for my friends.
After only going through a couple of aisles I realized it was eerily quiet. As if no one was in the store.
So I yelled out “Devin! Alex!”
No response. Complete silence. I could actually hear my own heartbeat. “I swear to God, if these motherfuckers left me here-“ I muttered to myself.
I did a couple of laps throughout the store and spotted nobody. No Devin, No Alex, No cashiers, No customers, nothing. Which made me think, OH SHIT! Did I break into a closed Walmart?
I made my way to the exit and saw the parking lot empty, I realized that’s probably what happened. I laughed to myself and went to walk out. Except, the doors won’t open. I started to look for a way to unlock the door when from behind me, I heard what sounded like bare feet running across the concrete floor.
I whipped around, and no one was there. My heartbeat had picked up at this point.
“Who’s there?” I exclaimed. No response.
Most people would probably just leave in this case, let me tell you what I did. After I got no response my drug-induced mind thought, OH! We broke into Walmart to play hide and seek! No wonder they haven’t said anything!
So I yell out, “Alright, I give up! Now come on before the cops show up!” This time all I heard in response was the footsteps, moving to the right of the store now.
I walked that way and while I did I saw something flee to the produce section from the corner of my eye. I picked up speed and jogged over there. Behind the apple bin, I see my friend Alex crouched down behind it. His eyes are widened, and his breathing is ragged. As I inch closer I notice his body is covered in dried blood, his left ear is missing, and he is completely naked.
“Alex! What the hell happened!?!” I shouted at him. He looked at me, and let out a blood-curdling scream before tripping over himself to sprint away. I watched him run and felt utter terror within myself at that moment. Who did that to him? Then right as soon as I was about to pursue again, I heard something metal hit the floor behind me.
I turned around and halfway down the aisle, Devin stood with a baseball bat that was dripping with blood. Also naked and covered in dried blood head to toe. Except he didn’t look scared. He smiled ear to ear as if he were trying to show off every one of his teeth in his mouth. His gaze was lowered and his brow seemed furrowed in frustration.
“Devin? What the fuck are you doing?” Before I could get a response, Devin made a beeline directly at me.
I ran, but my dumbass ended up trying to round a corner and I ran into a shelf, causing me to fall. I fell exactly where I woke up when this all started. Devin stood over me and raised the bat over his head.
I scream “Wait, Wait, WAI-“
I woke up inside of a hospital. A bunch of tubes going to and fro. A fashionable hospital gown wrapped around my body. The faint beeping of the heart monitor echoed through the room. No more acid, I think to myself.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone trying to silently cry at the opposite end of my room. I lifted my head, which was far more painful than you could imagine, and saw my mom sitting in a chair facing away from me. She was slumped in the chair, face in her hands.
“Mom?” I uttered weakly.
She sat straight up at the sound of my voice but didn’t turn around.
“Why do you do this to me?” She asked, quietly.
I realized I had really messed up this time. Things got crazy the other night. How much did she know though? Did she know that Devin tried to kill me?
I started to speak up but was cut off by her standing unusually fast.
“I said, Why do you do this to me?” She said in a much firmer tone, still not facing me.
I felt really bad. I didn’t know what to say so I said the only thing I could think of. “I’m sorry.”
The room was still for a few beats and then, she started laughing. At first just a giggle, but then full maniacal laughter. “You’re sorry?” She cackles.
She whipped around to face me and my heart sank into my stomach and then jumped right up to my throat. She had no eyes. Just two abysses where eyes should be. Her cheeks were stained with dried bloody tears.
She then walked to me slowly the whole time laughing while repeating “You’re sorry?! You’re sorry?! You’re sorry?!” Until she finally stood over me while I was frozen in fear in my bed.
She got nose-to-nose with me and said “It’s too late to be sorry.” My mother then unhinged her jaw and threw up an unknown black substance all over me. It just kept going and going and going. I was drowning in whatever vile bile my mother was producing. But then, it stopped.
My eyes were closed tight and I had worked myself into the fetal position. Once I had felt it was clear, I wiped the black goop from my eyes. Doing so revealed I was no longer in the hospital. I was home. Back in my bed. I looked at my body and realized I was wearing different clothes. A hoodie and some sweatpants. I touched my head again and found no black goop. I shot out of bed and then cracked my door.
“Mom?” I called out.
“Yeah?” She answered from upstairs.
I left my room and crept up the stairs. I peeked before going all the way up and saw my mother making biscuits and gravy for the rest of the family.
“Everything ok?” She said when she spotted me.
“I don’t know honestly..” I muttered to myself.
I went back to my room, shut the door, and then I slumped against the door. Is it over? I went to my nightstand and drank from a previously opened water bottle. As I did, I saw my pillow out of the corner of my eye. Black goop, all over it. I started hyperventilating, realizing that it was not over. I started thinking about Alex and Devin. I searched for my phone but still had no luck finding that thing. I looked in my closet but when I did, sitting on the floor, unwashed and folded, the clothes that I had tripped in were there. I continued looking for the phone under my bed. Underneath there was the hospital gown, drenched in black goop. I grabbed all of that, stuffed it in a bag, and headed straight to Devin’s.
When I arrived, Devin’s dad let me in. Devin and Alex were just chilling in the room like nothing happened.
They both saw me and Devin goes “Aye! What’s up bro!” while trying to dap me up.
I was fresh out of daps at that moment. “What’s up? No, what happened is what I want to know.” I poured my bag out and showed them the hospital gown and clothes.
“What’s that?” Alex said, very confused.
I grabbed him by the face and turned his head.
“Yo, wtf?” He said in confusion. His ear was there! But..how? I checked my arms, which still have tiny cuts on them. I looked around the room, analyzing. The painting I was working on at the beginning of the trip, wasn’t there. The mirror I broke stood in the same spot it was, just fine. My eyes widened at the realization.
“Devin,” I said in disbelief, “Did we trip last night?”
Devin seemed like he was going to crack a joke but stopped when he saw the look on my face. “No man, we’re going to tomorrow. Remember?”
No, I didn’t remember. I didn’t even know what was real. I gathered my things and left without a word. Didn’t really speak to anyone for months.
Eventually, I just told myself that it was a bad trip that wiped my memory and replaced it with something worse. But every time I try to convince myself of that, it just takes one glance inside that bag of stained clothing to tell me that it was more than just a bad trip.